Hunter
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: After a bad camping trip that left Vernon and Dudley dead because of a Wendigo, Harry decides on his chosen career path as a Hunter. There's just one small catch...he has to survive his fifth year long enough to escape Britain! With the help of a mischievous god, a pair of no-good twins, and the help of his friend will Hogwarts survive him? Brotherly!Loki/Gabriel
1. Chapter 1

He was seven when he chose his career path in life. His 'family' had been forced to take him on a camping trip (he suspected that they planned to ditch him in the woods) when he heard the most awful howling. Since he had been made to sleep outside the tent, he crawled out of his ratty sleeping bag and started to climb, thinking it was wolves.

It wasn't wolves. In fact it didn't even appeared to be like any animal he recognized. It was humanoid in shape, but that was where the resemblance ended. It had massive claws and was definitely a carnivore.

It sniffed his sleeping bag before turning it's attention onto the tent.

Vernon and Dudley didn't stand a chance, and Petunia had left for the bathroom not fifteen minutes earlier.

Suddenly the thing looked up, and he got a good look at it's eyes. They were a bloody red, and it tried to sniff him out. He didn't move a single muscle, terrified that this thing would eat him next. It took a screaming Dudley and Vernon back to it's lair, and when it came back an hour later it captured his aunt.

He didn't dare come down until he heard someone come to check on them, like they had every day for the past three days they were camping. Hearing their shout, he debated on whether it was safe to leave camp or not.

Hearing that unholy howl in the distance, he decided against leaving the tree. Not with that thing down there.

It was a good thing he had grabbed his cousin's "emergency" rations, which would have fed a small house for a week, along with the two large water bottles. He didn't feel one iota of guilt for littering in the tree, not after he saw the police show up and those who stayed behind to investigate get captured by the creature.

If the coppers didn't believe him about the abuse, why would they believe that a monster had captured his aunt and uncle to who knows where?

A day after the police were taken, a man wearing an odd hunting outfit showed up. He looked around with a professional eye, and was about to investigate some markings when he happened to see the foil wrapper up in the tree.

Instead of dismissing it as the works of birds (like the police had when they showed up) he started to climb.

That was how Harry Potter came face to face with his first Hunter.

"Smart kid. How did you escape the Wendigo?"

"Is that what that monster is called?" asked Harry, not leaving his tree.

"Yup. So how did you escape it?"

"I heard and howl and assumed wolves. That thing has trouble finding me up here, so I stayed put until I was sure it wouldn't come back," said Harry.

"Any idea of where it is? Wendigo's are usually active for a week at a time."

"About an hour's walk that way, I think. I looked at how long it took for it to capture my aunt, and she stayed close to here once it took my cousin and uncle," said Harry, pointing in the direction this Wendigo had left.

"Right... That tree can't be comfortable. If I draw a circle to keep the Wendigo out, will you come down?" he asked.

"I want proof it works first," said Harry immediately.

"Kid, how long do you think your luck will hold if you stay up here?"

"...Fine. Got any real food? This junk is making me queasy," said Harry.

"Yup. Brought enough food to last for three days."

Harry started munching on some nice, healthy sandwiches (turkey with lettuce and tomato) while the man drew vague symbols on the ground. He waited for nightfall, and that was when Harry immediately started looking for the nearest tree to run up when he heard the growl.

"Relax kid, it can't get past the symbols."

"Yeah, real comforting to someone who's spent the last three days hiding in a tree watching this thing take people to who knows where!" Harry shot back.

He hadn't slept at all while that thing was out, so his response was reasonable for his position.

The growls vanished, but the cries for help came. They sounded very much like his aunt. Harry snorted.

"If you're waiting me to run to her aid, you'll be here till hell freezes over! I'm not risking my neck for a horse who regularly swings a frying pan at me for anything she considers abnormal!" Harry shouted into the dark.

The creature paused, before trying Dudley and then Vernon's voice. Harry ignored all three voices and continued to watch the fire burn. The Hunter was both impressed...and mildly worried. Impressed because this kid knew how to survive and didn't fall for such an obvious trick, and worried because he mentioned his aunt using force for anything out of the ordinary. The more he looked at the kid, the more signs of abuse he saw.

By morning the thing had given up, and the police had quit trying to find the missing people because of two forces. The police chief deciding not to lose any more men, and the magical forces who thought that the investigation was about the abuse Harry suffered.

It took the man three hours to kill and free those still alive (which in this case was Petunia and the officers...Dudley and Vernon's hearts had given out a day into captivity) and to kill the damn thing.

By that point an agreement had been reached with Harry and his aunt. She would no longer punish him for accidental magic, but in return he had to study as hard as he could to kill anything supernatural. Considering the man who saved him regularly killed monsters like this, Harry was quick to agree.

He now had a goal in life...he was going to become a Hunter.

* * *

_Time skip to fifth year..._

Hary threw down his book with disgust. This defense book wasn't worth the paper it was printed on...which was about the same evaluation he gave Lockhart's books come to think of it. Instead he went deep into the more unpleasant parts of Sirius' family library and was about to pull out a random encyclopedia of demons when Sirius came in.

"What have you got there?"

"An encyclopedia of something obscure. In Latin apparently," said Harry dryly.

"I still don't understand why you know Latin," said Sirius.

"Latin, Italian, French, Spanish..." Harry listed off the top of his head. Ever since his encounter with the Wendigo, he had always dreamed of becoming a Hunter and killing monsters. To that end, he had taken multiple classes (with his aunt's full permission when she learned why) to learn as many languages he could, particularly Latin.

He had also taken several martial arts classes, and was now a black belt in three different styles.

The only thing he did _not_ have was information. Things like what form certain demons took, how to take some of the worst supernatural horrors out and how to deal with a normal ghost. Hermione still didn't understand how Harry knew ghosts were very weak against rock salt of all things.

"So Harry, about all these weird books you've been reading lately..."

Harry paused, then gave Sirius a 'Look'.

"Sirius, by any chance have you been talking to Molly Weasly about me lately?" he asked with suspicion.

"No, but Dumbledore has this list of the things you've been taking out of the Restricted Section," said Sirius.

"Let me rephrase this...at what point in time did you quit being a rebel and become a responsible adult?"

Sirius blinked twice.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because the Sirius I know would be more interested in pranks with the twins than the fact I have a career that does not involve getting good scores in my NEWTs," said Harry flatly.

"Pranks are great and all, but why on earth are you reading obscure books on monsters?"

"...When I was seven my uncle and fat cousin were killed by a Wendigo. My aunt was only saved because a Hunter happened to be in the area and killed it," said Harry.

"You're shitting me. A real Wendigo? In England?" said Sirius in disbelief. Growing up a Black meant he knew more about the dark side of the supernatural than he would have liked.

"We were camping and the damn thing woke up two days in. I ran up a tree and stayed there until the Hunter showed up and placed a ward to keep it out. The only one he managed to save was Petunia, and that was because my cousin and uncle's hearts gave out on their first day as captives."

"Don't Wendigo's mimic human voices?" asked Sirius.

"It was dumb enough to mimic my family. I wasn't risking my ass for them," said Harry flatly.

"So all these obscure books you're reading..."

"A preventive measure to keep from being stuck up in a tree waiting to be rescued again," said Harry.

Sirius took that answer as Harry hoped. He dropped all questions about the books Harry read...in exchange for Harry's promise never to become evil and actually use the knowledge to summon demons and the like.

* * *

Hermione was very worried...she had seen the circle in Harry's hand and assumed he planned to summon a demon with it. (She had been the one to translate the books Harry kept borrowing for Dumbledore, who didn't speak Latin or own the dictionary.)

"Harry, what are you planning to do?" she asked concerned.

"Summoning Loki of course. Why?"

"Because that looks suspiciously like the circle in that demon summoning book you were reading last week," she replied.

"Were you the one who translated that list?" asked Harry.

"Yes, and I want to know why you're summoning a demon!"

"Not a demon. Loki, the god of mischief. Fred, George, you two got what I asked for?" Harry called out of the room.

"We got it..." said Fred.

"But we still don't see..." continued George.

"Why you need..."

"Fifty galleons worth of Honeyduke's best chocolate," finished George.

"I heard that Loki has a massive sweet tooth, and this might make him more inclined to listen to us," said Harry flatly.

"I still don't understand how you plan to summon Loki with that," said Hermione.

"Oh ye of little faith. Hand over that phoenix feather and unicorn tail will you?"

"Where did you get this feather?!"

"Stole it from Fawkes last time he was here. You've never heard such squawking," said Harry absentmindedly. The twins snickered, having distracted the Order so Harry could do that.

As Harry began the long chant in actual Latin (he had been appalled the first time he heard the faux Latin that wizards used for their spells) Hermione felt a subtle pressure around her.

"Yo," said a rather short, if handsome man with mischievous eyes.

"You Loki?" asked Harry?

"You summoned me didn't you?"

"Fred, George?" said Harry.

Loki's mouth twitched upward when he saw the chocolate that the twins had.

"Is that Honeyduke's best chocolate I smell?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh good, you recognize it. You can have the chocolate in exchange for giving me an Enochian dictionary," said Harry.

Loki blinked at him.

"A what?"

"A dictionary so I can learn how to write angel glyphs. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find an angel willing to share those?"

"What makes you think I would know where to find something like that?" asked Loki.

"Because I know your real name, and I'm planning to take up a certain profession once Voldemort is dealt with. I would rather be over-prepared than having missing information. And to be honest, some of the angels I've heard about sound like assholes."

Hermione seemed to be in shock that her best friend had actually summoned Loki. Then her brain rebooted.

"Wait a minute, how the hell do we know this is actually Loki and not a demon?!" she nearly shrieked.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot. You thirsty Loki?" asked Harry.

Loki took the water battle and tossed it back without asking what it was.

"Blegh. Distilled water, really?"

"See? Not a demon. If he was, he would be shooting out black smoke by now or be in excruciating pain. Not to mention he would have been a hell of a lot more annoyed by the devil trap I have above him," said Harry bluntly.

"What did you give him?" asked Hermione.

"Holy water. Demons can't stand the stuff. Nor can they handle the word 'Christo' without flinching."

"I can't give you a dictionary, though I can help with any pranks you want done," said Loki after a thought.

"In that case, I leave him in your capable hands Fred and George," said Harry mildly disappointed.

The Order was hit particularly hard that month, though Loki did leave Harry a list of angel glyphs he could use in case he ran into one of the less pleasant Angels, in addition to saying that if he actually _did_ need help then all he would have to do is pray for him.

Apparently Harry made an...odd...impression on the deity.

Hermione was still trying to resist strangling Harry for summoning something stronger than him right in Order headquarters.

* * *

Harry had been taken in an hour early for his case, though he knew he would come out fine. After all, he had captured the dementors without using a single spell. Legally they had nothing on him.

On the plus side, his portable devil trap was a success! And he got to verify that he had actual holy water, as opposed to tap. (That had happened once, and ever since he stuck to suppliers with good records.)

He went in, gave his defense before Dumbledore could interrupt him, and waited while the Wizangamot read off what spells he had used.

He knew Fudge would discredit him, which was why he hadn't bothered carrying his wand with him.

Instead he had his knives and his book with details on how to deal with supernatural threats. He had heard rumors from older hunters that an American had made his own book, only it was a disorganized mess.

Originally the older hunters had been leery of a ten-year-old walking into a bar full of 'delusional' killers with guns, right up until he mentioned his run-in with a Wendigo and had immediately decided to join their group when he was older and out of school. It had taken all of ten minutes for him to patiently explain that he only came in there for good intel that he knew worked, since half the stuff he found online didn't make a lick of sense.

After that he had a hell of a time keeping up with their advice. Finally he agreed to keep coming back to verify information he found or to share something new.

Every Hunter in Britain knew he was a wizard, because he had asked about Hogwarts when the letter originally came. As long as he didn't summon demons, he was one of them. Besides, he had most of their numbers on speed dial by that time. He was their research monkey.

It took all of an hour before he was let go, as his wand didn't even

_have_ the patronus registered as cast since his third year. They couldn't legally charge him for a spell he hadn't even used in a while, nor did Harry mention the dementors.

He knew it would have been a lost cause if he had.

He left the Ministry whistling a tune one of his Hunter friends had taught him when he was twelve.


	2. Chapter 2

"Harry, buddy, what are you planning?" asked Sirius.

"I'm bored, and we have a day before we have to hit the train. So I'm practicing a trick some of my buddies showed me," said Harry bored.

"And what's that?"

"Hotwiring. If anyone asks, my name is Malfoy and you're Snape," said Harry.

"...Deal. And you better show me this trick of yours."

Harry smirked, then they picked a good looking car that wasn't locked. Harry opened the door, grabbed his boot knife and jammed it into the keyhole.

With a quick flick of the wrist, he turned the engine on while Sirius wisely buckled up.

They were off and heading towards a bar that Harry was intimately familiar with.

"Who needs information?" he called out.

"Monkey! What hole have you been hiding in the past week?" called out the bartender.

"Monkey?" said Sirius.

"I'm a research monkey. I get requests from senior hunters for help that can be used by muggles, in exchange for favors later. Or they pay me actual cash."

"So who's your friend Monkey?" asked one of the older hunters.

"Godfather, falsely accused of killing people and currently on the run."

"Thought he looked familiar. You Sirius Black?" asked Jared, who happened to be one of Harry's best clients.

"I am."

"Bah. The cover up was shoddy as hell. If Monkey vouched for you, then you're welcome here," said Jared.

"Harry, how exactly do you know these people?" asked Sirius.

"After the Wendigo incident, I decided to become a hunter when I graduated school. It took me a year to find a bar that catered Hunters, and half an hour to get them to at least share their knowledge. When they found out how good I was at finding solutions to common nuisances, they claimed me as one of their own and gave me the nickname Monkey."

"And by common nuisances you mean..."

"Unusual ghosts, the occasional magical animal, and a duck once."

"A duck," said Sirius deadpan.

"A duck. Mean little bastards, those. Anyway, how is being a hunter any worse than dealing with pure bloods and paperwork all damn day? Plus the Ministry can't regulate the hell out of it, and the people who take up this profession are usually good fighters who suck at poker."

Sirius thought about this, and admitted Harry had a point. Being an Auror was dead boring, and Hunters didn't have to fill out boring as hell paperwork or deal with with budget cuts due to bureaucracy.

"So how difficult would it be to become a hunter?"

"If you're really interested, I can get you started later. I have a book that most of them have been using for a small fee."

The bartender chuckled.

"Monkey here made the best book on how to deal with common and uncommon threats. Most men here swear by it, because it's so damn useful."

"That reminds me... Who wants to buy portable devil traps? I finally got them to work!" shouted Harry.

There was a minor rush and the two left after an hour slightly richer than when they came in. Sirius apparated them back to the Order when they saw a cop looking at the car they had stolen with suspicion.

Inside was a note saying "Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape wuz here" written by Harry. Sirius approved, naturally.

When they reached the outside of Sirius' old house, Sirius turned to his godson, put his hands around his shoulders and said "Harry, while I am afraid for you safety, you are the best godson a man could ask for."

"Uh, Sirius?"

"How many men can say their godson knows how to steal a car, pin the blame on people he hates and have an in with killers while beating them at poker?" said Sirius with a tear running down his eye. He was so proud of him!

Harry wisely kept his trap shut, having seen something Sirius hadn't with his back turned to the door.

"I can't wait to see what you do when you finally start dating!"

"Yeah, something you might not experience if that look she's giving you is any indication," he said dryly in return.

"Who?"

"Mrs. Weasly. It was Snape's fault!" said Harry, pointing at Snape without repent.

Sirius looked at his godson with more pride, if that was possible. Snape just glowered at them both.

"WHERE HAVE YOU TWO BEEN?!" shrieked Mrs. Weasly.

It took them two hours, but eventually Harry was able to pin the blame on someone else. Namely Ron, who had annoyed him greatly an hour before they left. Ron was promptly grounded and Sirius ended up bragging to Remus how proud he was of Harry for keeping up his Marauder heritage. Long after Harry was gone anyway...

* * *

Harry found an empty compartment and immediately made sure Malfoy couldn't bother him while he went to work. He had gotten a large amount of requests that needed to be filled from the Hunters and he didn't like letting them down.

"Let's see...Kent, wailing banshee...text sent. Derrick, werewolf pack that has been harassing cattle...text sent. Jerry, clan of magical vampires...text sent. GO AWAY! I don't want any visitors! Huh, got a text from some blokes in America...Winchester...ah, they're dealing with a grim, text sent along with e-mail information. Only five more..." muttered Harry, scanning his laptop which had all the information on supernatural beasts and the like. It was powered by magic, and he had gotten it from a Japanese chap who had contacts. Best five hundred galleons he had spent.

People came and left after unsuccessfully trying to get in. Particularly Malfoy, who wanted to get his pre-Hogwarts goading in. He left more than mildly disappointed that Harry didn't even acknowledge his existence. It wasn't until Hermione pointedly tapped the window that he even opened the door with his wand.

"Harry, what are you doing?"

"Research orders. I always get them, though this time I had them all done before we got to the school. Usually takes me a day or two to get through them all."

"What sort of research?"

"Mostly translation and advice... You should see the cash I get for that old satellite that I had remodeled for wireless use."

Harry had bought an old Japanese satellite and turned it into something that could pick up and transmit WiFi signals. He sold the password to fellow hunters so they didn't have to deal with cops tracking them through their internet accounts or about paying outrageous fees because they were over the download limit.

Some of the files Harry used were several megabytes thick, hence the larger than normal download.

Most hunters paid for it because they knew it belonged to someone who understood them and didn't mind the fact they were occasionally late with the payment. Plus they knew that the cops couldn't actually get a court order to stick because the 'owner' of the internet company didn't technically exist on paper.

"Harry, you know laptops don't work around magic," said Hermione tiredly.

"'Mione, this is a _Japanese_ laptop. They figured out how to charge them with magic ever since the first one came out. You really think they would allow something as minor as magic frying technology to keep them from their games?" said Harry just as patiently, updating his Hunter blog which had all sorts of forums for Hunters to chat.

"How much did it cost, and how are you getting internet all the way in the boonies?" she asked.

"It cost me five hundred galleons, and I can get you one for your birthday if you want. As for the internet, I have a few modified satellites that I use for free," said Harry not looking up.

"And the cell phone?"

"Easier to hide and text research back to my clients," said Harry.

"What's that on the side? Who's Monkey Magic?"

"Hmm? Oh, that's a nickname."

"Monkey Magic is your nickname," deadpanned Hermione. Ron wasn't talking to Harry because he had gotten him grounded for a month.

"It was originally Monkey. They added the Magic once they learned I was a wizard to boot."

"Who?"

"Just a couple of friends who ask for research they don't have time to do on the side...speaking of which, looks like I got another request. What the hell? Why would they need something to track a demon? I don't like doing those requests!"

Harry sent a quick message back to this John W., and waited. He got a message nearly five seconds later.

_'Need info on yellow-eyed demon. Will pay higher than standard fee.'_

Harry immediately texted back _'Need proper contact information. Information too big to give through text.'_

_'John Winchester, phone number...'_

Harry double checked the number, and promptly headed to the loo, hiding his laptop in his expanded bag.

"_This is Winchester. Who is calling?"_

"You texted me for info on a yellow-eyed demon. May I ask why?"

"_You Monkey Magic?"_

"I am. I need a reason to give up something so valuable, as demon-info is not cheap or easy to come by. Particularly if it's _accurate_."

"_I got your number through Bobby. I am looking for a yellow-eyed demon who killed my wife and may have poisoned my son. Do you have any information, specifically where I can find him?"_

"I have no idea where any demon is, let alone that particular one. I assume you have a way to kill him already."

"_I have the Colt made to kill demons, and three bullets,"_ said John.

"Good enough. The demon you're looking for is Azazel and the summoning circle is nearly impossible to come by through normal channels. The problem is that I've heard he's been known to work with his daughter and son, no info on their names, but they're a risk factor you should take into account. If you wire some cash into my account, I can look up a summoning circle for you and send it once I have it through e-mail. You do have that right?"

"_My youngest son does. Will that do?"_

"That will work just fine. I'm sure Mr. Singer has my account information," said Harry. He hung up the phone and went back into the compartment to check his account. Ten minutes later he got a wired transfer for $1,500. It was ten times his usual amount.

Then again, the harder to find the information, the more he usually charged. Harry immediately began digging into his books until he found the appropriate circle for Azazel's rank.

He attached a note that it would summon a demon of his class, but it had no guarantee that it was the one they wanted. He sent it to Sam Winchester's e-mail account and sent a text to John that it was now his problem.

Hermione watched the whole thing in shock.

"Harry, why do you have demon-summoning circles in your bag?"

"Not my problem. Hunters occasionally ask for them, looking for a specific one. I just supply them and give them all the warnings. Anyway this is a better way to make money than to cater to the dumbass Ministry all the time."

Hermione was about to give a biting retort, before she rethought it. All she could see Harry doing was research that was helping other and getting paid for it to boot. Very well too, if what she saw in his account was true.

"Is any of that cash from your trust account?" she asked finally.

"You kidding? Why would I pad this account with magical gold when I can live off what I make in satellite fees and research requests? I've been using this thing since I was ten!" said Harry incredulous.

"...Room for one more?" she asked hopefully. Being paid to do what she normally did for free sounded like an excellent deal for her.

"You got a Swiss bank account already set up?" he asked in return.

"My uncle is an accountant. All of my family's accounts are Swiss."

"You adverse to researching the dark underbelly of the magical communities to find solutions to some of the more difficult creatures and ready to put them in terms that muggles can understand?"

"How much do you get paid per request?"

"My standard fee is one hundred-fifty for an easy one like information on things like white ladies, werewolves and ghosts. The harder the request, the higher the price. That demon circle alone netted me two thousand."

"Count me in."

"This also comes with a get-into-the-Restricted-Section free card," said Harry.

"How did you manage that?!" she asked in shock.

"Cloak and I was told how to get past the wards around the section by a curse breaker in exchange for free information when asked. It was a bigger pain to get copies of the books I use the most," said Harry flatly.

While Harry was corrupting Hermione, Ron was off complaining about how Harry framed him for something he didn't do. Seamus and Dean nodded in the appropriate placed, but were more interested in asking Harry where he learned how to hotwire a car and if he could teach them later...

* * *

Harry listened for exactly thirty seconds of Umbitch's speech, and then turned to Hermione.

"I am going to spend all of DADA this year learning how to shoot guns and other things that are technically illegal in England. You can either join me or deal with her."

"Where are you going to get a gun this far out in the boonies?" she asked.

"I already have some, just never enough time to actually practice," said Harry in return.

"Oh. I assume you have the proper safety equipment?"

"Hermione, we have silencing spells. Why would we need those silly head gear?"

"...Point. Let me sit through one lesson before I answer you."

Harry had done this before with Lockhart, but last time he had spent all of the year researching and adding to his book. He had a feeling he wouldn't have that luxury this time around, and was already making plans to use some of the abandoned towers to leave his stuff.

It was either that or the Chamber, and he knew from experience that he wouldn't get a signal there, no matter how good his internet was. Besides, Ron knew the location and Harry knew that the red head was a bit of a blabber mouth.


	3. Chapter 3

It was exactly one week into the semester, and Harry had already moved all of his things into an abandoned tower and had found a place to practice his aim. He no longer slept in the Gryffindor tower, not after he found a house elf going through his trunk on Dumbledore's orders.

He had learned from second year not to keep anything valuable in his trunk. It was all in his bag, which he kept on him at all times. His trunk was just for school, and easily replaced if necessary. Harry fully believed in being prepared, and part of that meant being ready to leave the school without notice.

It wasn't like he would miss school after all, and he already had everything he needed to live in the real world as he liked to think of it.

* * *

Umbridge looked at the Gryffindor fifth years with barely contained glee. Potter was missing, and it gave her a reason to give him detention without coming up with something!

"Where is Mr. Potter?" she asked sweetly. It was enough to make the children gag.

"He said he wasn't going to waste time with someone who obviously had no idea what they were doing," answered Hermione.

"He is not a Ministry-approved teacher, and he has no excuse not to be in class," said Umbridge primly.

"Considering you aren't even going to let us practice spells, I can see why he decided it wasn't worth his time," said Ron loudly.

"Detention Mr. Weasly!" said Umbridge primly, then added "And a week's worth of detentions for Mr. Potter when I get my hands on him."

What she didn't count on was Harry borrowing one of the old brooms and using the 'alohamora' charm to get to class and avoid her. Since he didn't sleep in the Gryffindor Tower anymore and had the Marauder's map, it was impossible for her to find him. And the fact he started to order food to come to his room direct made it very hard to catch him that way.

In fact it took three days for Hermione to successfully catch him in the library, and that was because she had gotten a permission slip from McGonagall to the Restricted Section!

"Yo. What's up Hermione?"

"What's up is that the Toad Bitch is torturing students with an illegal quill. Ron came back from his detention with words written in his own blood on his hand, and I know she's been putting first years through the same thing," said Hermione.

"Ah. I had hoped that she would spend all year trying to catch me instead, but apparently she's a multitasker," said Harry irritated.

"What do you plan to do?"

"Well considering McGonagall gave me the permission to play my new favorite game called 'avoid the Toad', there's only one thing I can do."

"And that is?"

"Call in the expert."

"Who?"

* * *

"Hey kid, was wondering if you were going to call me or not!" said Loki far too cheerfully for Hermione's sanity.

"Hey Loki. Got a special case for ya! There's a woman in this castle torturing children with an illegal quill, and she doesn't seem to be falling for my little game of cat-and-mouse. I heard stories from the other Hunters that you have this habit of dealing with people like that and I figured you would have an idea of what do with her," said Harry.

"Damn. How old are these kids?"

"Eleven, and she seems to be targeting those of non-magical birth or anyone who disagrees with the Ministry," said Hermione.

"Her name wouldn't happen to be Delores Umbridge would it?"

"How did you know?" asked Harry.

"Was wondering when I would get a chance to deal with her. Or Snape really," said Loki with a shrug.

"Umbitch is a bigger problem than Snape," said Hermione.

"I'll help...just one question..." said Loki.

"I'll buy out their stock of chocolate frogs and not give you any cockroach clusters," said Harry immediately.

"Actually I was going to ask where do I sleep? I want to have fun with this," said Loki.

"Oh, you can share my room. Not like I really use all that empty space," said Harry.

"What do you mean 'your room'? You sleep with the others in the tower!" said Hermione.

"Not since the first week I haven't. You think I enjoy listening to Ron snoring like a damn bear every night? I swiped one of the unused towers and moved everything into one of the rooms. Shouldn't be too hard to get an extra bed in there," said Harry.

"That...actually explains a lot..." said Hermione thinking it over. She had wondered why Umbridge hadn't tried to get into the Gryffindor tower or why she never saw Harry in the common room anymore.

"You swiped an entire tower? Dude, toga party!" said Loki with a grin.

"How can we have a toga party without the toad finding out I'm no longer protected by the Gryffindor tower and the portrait?"

"Damn."

"On the other hand...I do have an extra laptop with internet connection..."

"Dibs," said Loki.

"Harry, why haven't you gotten me one yet?" asked Hermione a little two sweetly. Both Loki and Harry cringed in unison. A tone that sweet always spoke of trouble for the one they had their attention on.

"Like I said before 'Mione, I'm getting you one for your birthday. Hell, I'm paying a hundred extra galleons to make sure it's state of the art!"

Harry had paid for what was considered the 'standard' laptop. That was five hundred galleons easy. What he was getting for Hermione was more expensive but had far more features to it. It would also come with the password to his satellites, which was something he offered to magicals as well as Hunters.

It had already paid off what he spent on his laptop once the Japanese learned what he had in mind. Not having to work through muggles for their internet was something they could live with.

* * *

"Are you sure that's what he said? He took over a tower?" said McGonagall.

"He was very clear on this point. He found a tower that wasn't being used and used a cleaning charm to get into it. According to him, he found a house elf going through his trunk the first week into the year and didn't want a repeat. Something I find hard to believe as I know for a fact he carries everything important to him in that bag of his after what happened in second year."

Considering the books he read, McGonagall wasn't surprised. It would be a bad thing indeed if a Slytherin loyal to Voldemort got his hands on some of the books Harry tended to read.

Particularly the demon summoning books, which Harry found by accident in the Restricted Section. He had come to her three weeks into this semester with an offer. He would take the books of the shelves and place them somewhere that they couldn't be used for the war or where the Ministry could get their hands on them. He also offered an Unbreakable Vow never to use the information for personal gain.

Considering he was the current expert on demonology in the castle and knew far more about them than she did or ever will, she consented.

Harry immediately sent them to Bobby Singer in America, who could possibly put the information to good use. It was more of an exchange really, as Harry then replaced the books with copies of some Bobby had. (After he made copies of his own. He wasn't an idiot.)

"By the way, who was that boy talking to Harry at lunch today?"

"Which one?"

"The silver-eyed one. I noticed him on the way to the staff table," said McGonagall.

"Probably Loki. I wouldn't put it past Harry to slip him some de-aging potion just so he could annoy the Toad further," said Hermione unconcerned. Aside from being a bit of a pervert and having the worst sweet tooth she had ever encountered (he would give her parents conniption fits with his eating habits) he was decent enough. He just had an odd sense of humor which she could overlook after years of exposure to the Weasly twins.

McGonagall paled.

"Loki, as in _the_ Loki?!"

"Remember all those bizarre pranks in the Order? That was him working with the twins," shuddered Hermione.

"Oh Merlin no..." whimpered McGonagall, before she did something to shock Hermione. She took out a bottle of good scotch and took a long pull.

"That bad?" asked Hermione.

"Worse. His father was one of the _worst_ pranksters this school has ever known, easily outdoing the twins," said McGonagall, before she asked the question "How did Harry summon Loki anyway? I though that pantheon died out with the vikings."

"According to Harry he knew Loki's original name, and he stole one of Fawkes' tail feathers along with some unicorn tail. Though why he would need those to summon a Norse god I have no idea."

"This a private session or can anyone join?" asked Harry with a grin.

"How long have you been there?!" shrieked Hermione.

"Since McGonagall actually brought out the liquor. Relax Professor, I only brought Loki in to deal with the Toad. Besides, Loki won't hurt any of the students...at least none that don't really deserve it really. He has a history of humiliating or dealing with people who need a wake-up call on morals," said Harry.

"He isn't going to kill anyone is he?" demanded McGonagall.

"Umbitch, possibly, but from what I understand of his methods he'll lean more towards traumatizing the really bad cases first. Don't be surprised if Snape suddenly has a change of heart from being a complete bastard after Loki's through with him," said Harry.

"Harry, I've been meaning to ask...just how is Loki still around if the Norse pantheon was disbanded centuries ago?" asked Hermione.

"He's only a god by technicality. He was originally something else, he just got a few extra powers when he took on the name Loki," said Harry. If Hermione wanted to know Loki's original name, she would have to do the research on her own. Though it would be amusing to see her reaction to it.

And some of the more...religious...students. Specifically the Catholic and Christian ones.

* * *

The second Fred and George learned Loki was in fact in Hogwarts, they all but begged Harry to join in on their pranks. Loki actually laughed when he heard they sacrificed a rubber chicken in his honor when they learned he was in the school.

"So Fred, George, do you two know how to use Occulmency? Loki's mentioned it but I really don't want to deal with Snape just to learn it," asked Harry.

"Oh course we know it!" said Fred.

"How could we prank Snape if we didn't?" said George.

"Thank god...no offense Loki."

"None taken. Well, if you two can get Harry up to speed on how to protect your mind, I'll let you in on a real secret."

"What secret?" they asked.

"What his real name is. I only heard it from another Hunter, who had a run-in before and went looking on how to deal with him permanently..." said Harry.

"Ah Greg... I loved the look on his face when he heard who I really was," said Loki grinning evilly.

"I heard he went to the first bar he could and got shit-faced drunk," cackled Harry. Loki snickered and munched on another chocolate frog.

Like Harry promised, he bought out Honeyduke's supply of chocolate frogs...and then had a mini war with Loki over who got what card.

* * *

It took Harry exactly a month (by which time Halloween had come and gone, not that he cared...Loki had beaten Ron at a sugar-eating contest to the shock of the others and horror of Hermione) to master Occulmency. Harry went dressed as an angel to make Loki laugh.

It had taken the twins two days to get over the fact that Loki, the god of trickery from the Norse pantheon, was in fact an Arch-Angel from Christian/Catholic mythology...specifically the angel Gabriel. Though at least now they had an answer to why Harry had asked him for Angel Glyphs.

Umbridge was trying to figure out who the silver-eyed boy in Gryffindor was. He had appeared without warning and she knew he wasn't a real student. Asking the blood traitor Weasly had come up with nothing, to her annoyance. And Granger proved to be too much of a rule monger to actually do anything that would earn detention to her disgust. She would have loved to hear that mudblood cry from her special quills.

As she was daydreaming about that, she failed to notice the sound of wings, or that she had fallen into a rather nasty illusion.

Later, when the Ministry officials came to investigate, they would find the woman acting like a werewolf during the full moon, only there was no sign of infection. It was baffling.

* * *

"Students, it is with great regret that I inform you Professor Umbridge has been removed for..."

The students cheering covered up what he said, as they were just glad the Toad Bitch (Umbitch was the main favorite) was finally gone. To the great shock of the staff, several Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs started to carry Harry off on their shoulders.

"Why are they carrying Mr. Potter off?" asked Dumbledore in genuine confusion.

Flitwick snorted in amusement, as did Sprout.

"Because statistically speaking, the odds of it being Potter's doing are 100 to one, in his favor," said Flitwick.

"What was the pool up to?" asked McGonagall, to the shock of Dumbledore.

"A hundred to two in favor of him actually summoning something to deal with the bitch, fifty to one that he does it himself," said Sinestra.

Minerva then revealed something they hadn't known.

"Mr. Potter summoned Loki the trickster to deal with her about a month in," she said smugly, holding out her hand.

"Dammit, you knew he summoned something!" said Babbling, the professor in charge of Runes. Harry was an unofficial student of hers.

"Granger told me when I asked her who he was," said McGonagall.

"It looks like they're carrying off that silver-eyed fellow too," said Snape.

"Harry broke on who helped him," guessed McGonagall.

"Isn't he the same one who beat Ronald Weasly at an eating competition on Halloween?" asked Sprout.

"According to Harry Loki has a _massive_ sweet tooth...he would likely eat an entire dish of the Headmaster's favorite lemon drops without hesitating," said McGonagall. She neglected to mention that it was unlikely any potions or spells would stick to him.

Dumbledore watched as the students thanked the two profusely and felt a small amount of disappointment. No one had carried him off like that when he defeated Grindlewald, and yet all Harry had done was summon Loki and gotten rid of a horrid woman. Life just wasn't fair sometimes.


	4. Chapter 4

Loki was loving Hogwarts. It was so full of idiots he could 'play' with and he didn't have to deal with Hunters coming to end his fun...well except for the junior one who summoned him in the first place. Harry even provided him with free internet and a computer that never crashed from viruses from all the sites he visited! It was awesome!

"Kid, I think I love you," said Loki after another night of messing with some Slytherins.

"As a brother or what?" asked Harry, not looking up from his own laptop.

"Definitely as a brother. You're more fun than that dumbass Zachariah or the boring Micheal!"

"Big brother Loki... Huh, that would be funny to see the Hunter's expressions if they heard me call you that," said Harry, pausing in his typing.

"Don't forget the twins!" Loki laughed. He loved those two, they were hilarious!

"Huh, I wonder if this makes us the Fantastic Four?" said Harry with a grin. Loki howled with amusement.

"So what are you working on now?"

"My Hunter's Blog. I get so many repeat requests that I've made a blog for those who can't afford the book. Right now I'm having a conversation with someone named _Psychic_Sammy_ who really hates his username," said Harry.

"Oh ho! Does he happen to have an older brother named Dean?"

"I'll ask. How did you know?"

"I bet that's Sam Winchester! Azazel gave him psychic powers when he was a kid, but they recently manifested," said Loki.

"In that case..."

Loki came over to look at the conversation, which Harry had on full screen at the moment.

* * *

_**Psychic_Sammy:** How did you know my brother's name?_

_**MonkeyMagic:** I have a friend here with me who's heard of others like you and he took a guess at who I was talking too. Which reminds me, did that circle I sent your dad work out?_

_**Psychic_Sammy:** It summoned a demon alright, but according to him it didn't work like he hoped._

_**MonkeyMagic:** wrong one? There aren't any demon-specific circles out there, so I had to send one for his class instead._

_**Psychic_Sammy:** Oh, it worked alright, but he was blindsided by the son at the worst time and wasted a bullet._

_**MonkeyMagic:** Want to hear a fun fact about that Colt he has? It wouldn't work on the devil._

_**Psychic_Sammy:** What? How do you know that?_

_**MonkeyMagic:** Wrong species. The colt is made to kill Demons, which Lucifer isn't. If you really want to know why I would suggest re-reading the bible, specifically the Old Testament if I remember right._

_**Psychic_Sammy:** thanks for the heads up. I have to go, we got another case._

_**MonkeyMagic:** remember, quick information is only a text or phone call away! And to those who have my interest, information for up to medium-level threats is free._

"Why did you warn them about Lucifer?" asked Loki.

"I read a book written by Nostradamus that I found in the Black Library about the release of Lucifer and the return of Micheal. From what I've heard about the Winchester brothers, they're going to be the poor bastards that are in the middle of that crap. Frankly I would rather help a fellow Hunter stay alive than let them go without all the facts," said Harry.

Loki blinked.

"Nostradamus wrote prophecies about angels?"

Harry reached into his bag and handed over the book. Sirius let him raid the Black Library so long as it wasn't cursed. As far as he was concerned, Harry had free reign. It wasn't like he was going to use it.

"Page five hundred and four."

Loki flipped through the pages to the one he indicated. It was in Latin, but that didn't slow him down at all. His eyes widened the more he read.

"Wow...I didn't think a human could have seen that much without being the Prophet," said Loki.

"Neither did I. In any case I do feel sorry for them, hence why I am letting them have information for free."

"It's about their mom right?"

"Yeah, but at least they had a semblance of childhood," said Harry bitterly. Loki gave him a one-armed hug, as he was well aware of Harry's childhood until the Wendigo killed Vernon and Dudley.

"We are so hitting Disney World once this year is over," said Loki.

"We?"

"Gotta make up for lost time with my kid brother now, don't I? Besides, can you imagine the chaos the twins could cause by exposing them to Disney?"

Harry paused, before he started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Slytherin. Disney. Think about it for a moment, then help me come up with the best way to scare them..."

Loki thought about that for a second before he started snickering evilly. He loved this kid more and more! Who else would come up with exposing pure blood brats to the sickeningly sweet works of Walt Disney?

* * *

Hermione was listening with horror along with other muggleborns when half the Slytherin table (the bad half) started singing in unison the familiar tune of the Dwarves from Snow White. Specifically the "Hi-ho, Hi-ho, it's off to work we go" song. Surprising her was the fact Draco Malfoy wasn't tone deaf, but his goons were.

Loki and Harry were supporting each other while they laughed their ass off at the sight. The twins were just confused.

"What...did...you...two...do?!" hissed Hermione.

"We made them go through endless repeats of the song along with forcing them to see the movie," said Harry after a moment. He was still grinning though.

"HOW?!"

"Don't ask me! I just got the movie off Netflix and Loki did the actual transmitting. Come on Hermione, you have to admit it's funny as hell! You should have seen the looks on their faces when they realized that they had somehow been turned into Bambi or Flounder!"

Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose.

"You two had a Disney marathon didn't you," she said exasperated.

"Technically the Slytherins did. We had a Miyazaki marathon...way less sappy," said Harry.

"'_May all your bacon burn_!'" cackled Loki. Harry snickered at his flawless execution of Calcifer's line.

"Doctor Who marathon tomorrow?" said Harry.

"Totally!" said Loki with a grin. He loved that show, it was funny! Especially the Weeping Angels.

He wondered how the hard-ass Uriel would react to those things.

"Oh for the love of magic, please tell me you aren't about to start recreating _Doctor Who_ in a school full of backwards idiots..." moaned Hermione.

Unfortunately, a Who fan heard her complaint.

"Dude, seriously? I would give you my first born for a sonic screwdriver!" said a muggleborn Ravenclaw with excited eyes.

"I'd be your slave for a T.A.R.D.I.S.!" said another. Thankfully that one was a girl.

It wasn't long before Harry got a ton of requests. He looked to Loki.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Movie night in the great hall?"

"That too. Think Hedwig would be up to a lot of international travel?"

"I can ask," said Loki. Harry grinned...he loved the fact Loki could actually _talk_ to his owl and get an answer.

Hermione groaned...where had her sane Harry gone?

* * *

Two weeks later there was a very interesting shop going on in the great hall.

"Come one, come all! We have paraphernalia from multiple series of Sci-Fi and Fantasy recreated for your pleasure! From _Star Wars_ to _Lord of the Rings_ we have you covered! Prices starting at three sickles to ten galleons!" said Harry with a grin. The twins were outside the great hall hocking the wares in exchange for a quarter of the profits.

Muggleborns were their primary buyers, followed by some of the half-bloods. A scant few pure bloods who recognized the series also joined, but they were in the sad minority.

Sirius was very happy that his godson had started his own little ring of smugglers. He kept doing a dance, to Remus' annoyance every time he thought about it.

Then Harry started charging for movie nights in the great hall, though the snacks were free.

Loki thought it was hilarious as hell when the Slytherins bolted once they realized that one of the movies was the Disney version of _Snow White and the Seven Dwarves_.

* * *

Dumbledore couldn't believe it. The houses were uniting over something as simple as a movie night. It was like the class and blood prejiduce didn't exist while the movies were playing.

Though to be fair Harry had threatened to end the movie early if he caught anyone mentioning blood status or house bias and causing trouble. Three of the four heads of house fully supported it once Harry assured them that he would not be showing any movies inappropriate for a school.

With the house elves supply snacks and Harry supplying Omnioculars so students who left to use the restroom could see the parts that they missed (he made sure the subtitles were on so they could read the words as the Omnioculars didn't have audio) and enjoy the movie.

Hermione was torn between banging her head against the wall and strangling Harry. This was because now Lavender and Parvati (a half-blood and pure blood respectively) were both talking about the fashions shown in the various sci-fi and fantasy movies Harry had shown...though the one most boys were still drooling over was the outfit Princess Leia had worn in the movie _Star Wars: Return of the Jedi._

Several girls bought fitted copies of it for their boyfriends. Harry still had a shit-eating grin over that, and the look McGonagall had shot him when she first saw it.

* * *

Loki looked at Harry mournfully.

"I have bad news...seems my brothers have started to learn I'm in Scotland, and the last thing we need is them to storm the castle," said Loki.

"With the amount of racist bigots around here and the fact I've been layering Angel glyphs on every surface...yeah, keeping them in the dark would be a better idea."

"You've been layering angel glyphs? Which ones?"

"Mostly the ones to keep demonic presence out and to 'evict' any angel that comes here once we know their names."

"Oh, those are good. Which reminds me, I have a few more you can use...these will prevent possessions, hide you from angel's direct sight, and a general healing one."

"Do they work better as a tattoo?" asked Harry. He had been meaning to get one for ages, but had no idea which ones to start with.

"Some do, but let me know which ones so I can help you modify them correctly. Some work best when applied by angels directly."

"I'm going to miss our chats," said Harry.

"Actually I just can't stick around like I have. I can come and go for visits, but not stay around longer than a day. That and all the punishments I've been delivering seem to be what drew them here," said Loki sourly.

"Damn. Why do your brothers have to be such assholes?"

"No idea, but at least the twins can keep you occupied," said Loki with a smirk.

"Ugh...thanks for putting that image in my head," complained Harry. Loki laughed as he disappeared.

Fred and George were disappointed that their favorite god was gone. The fact Loki considered them like his younger brothers along with Harry only insured their loyalty to him.

Harry got a decent idea of where Loki vanished to when he got an odd message from Sam a few weeks later...

* * *

_**Psychic_Sammy: **Monkey, have you heard of tricksters?_

_**MonkeyMagic:** yes, why?_

_**Psychic_Sammy:** we're at a college with these weird happenings and I'm fairly sure it's a trickster. So far one man's dead from falling out of a window and another has been anally probed by waltzing aliens..._

_**MonkeyMagic:** ...So _that's_ where he disappeared to. I wouldn't worry about it Sam, knowing him he's just having a bit of fun for a bit. If I'm right then the best you can do is to tell the trickster that his 'little brother' asks him to knock it off already. If it's Loki, then you won't be able to kill him with conventional methods anyway._

_**Psychic_Sammy:** you know Loki?_

_**MonkeyMagic:** long story. Does this trickster you're facing have a massive sweet tooth?_

_**Psychic_Sammy:** yes._

_**MonkeyMagic:** then chances are it's Loki playing pranks again. He really doesn't like morally corrupt people. Anyway if you really want to get him to knock it off, tell him if he doesn't stop then his 'brothers' are going to quit buying him chocolate. That should get his attention._

_**Psychic_Sammy:** we really need to get that story from you sometime. Have to run, Dean wants to hit the bars...again._

* * *

Sam waited until they confronted Loki (it was him after all) and his illusions before he gave the message Monkey had suggested. He didn't want to get cut in half!

"Loki if you don't knock it off Monkey and your brothers are going to cut off your chocolate supply!" shouted Sam, barely keeping the saw off him.

Loki paused, before he looked at Sam oddly.

"Damn, forgot you two were in contact..." he muttered.

The illusions stopped abruptly, causing Dean to fall flat on his face.

"Sammy, what the hell?"

"Monkey Magic apparently knows Loki well enough to call him brother. I merely mentioned what we were hunting and he took a guess that it was Loki."

"He's going to confiscate my chocolate supply, I just know it!" complained Loki.

"Did he say how to kill him?" asked Dean pointedly.

"Monkey said that we couldn't kill Loki using the normal methods, and I doubt he would be willing to tell us anyway if they're that close."

"Damn straight he wouldn't! Monkey is one of the only people who found out my old name before he had even met me!" said Loki, before he vanished.

The Winchester brothers and Bobby vanished before the night guard could come investigate the noise they were making. Loki, on the other hand was pouting because Harry had threatened his chocolate supply.


	5. Chapter 5

_**I am aware the Loki episode came AFTER the one where Sam went missing for a week, but I am changing the time lines a bit to fit the story. Please don't complain about the fact that I switch them around.**_

* * *

It was a week before Christmas, and there was about five feet of snow on the ground. Harry had woken up thanks to a nightmare around five, saw the snow and acted accordingly.

He started making snow forts and arming them with frosty ammunition. In an effort to help those victimized by the Toad forget about it all, Harry was making large snow forts...four of them. One for each house.

When the children woke up that morning and saw the massive snow forts, they did what any child would do around snow.

A massive snow war. Loki was called in early on by the Gryffindors who were being slaughtered by the 'Puffs, to their horror. Even the twins were unable to stand Hufflepuff's assault.

Though Loki did squawk when Harry dumped a large amount of snow down his back.

His cackling didn't help matters either.

* * *

Harry had only a few days before he went to visit Sirius for Christmas, and he was feeling good.

That lasted up until the day they were to leave for the holidays when he saw a message from someone in America.

It took him exactly six seconds to realize it was from Dean Winchester (the name almost threw him off) and another two to realize what he was asking for. Sam was missing, and had been for four days. Dean had only recently cracked the password, and was begging Monkey for help locating his brother.

Harry honestly liked Sam, even if they had never met before. He was witty and fun to talk to. So Harry called Loki for advice.

"Sam's missing? That could be very, very bad for us. Word on the grapevine among the gods is that the two brothers are Vessels for Micheal and Lucy..." said Loki.

"Right... I bet we can convince Sirius to cover for us long enough to get a plane out of England for a week. Portkeys are too easy to trace, and we don't want the Order dragging me back before we find them."

Sirius only had to hear the fact that a hunter Harry was friends with had gone missing and that he had been asked for help before he agreed to help them slip out.

He had become great friends with the hunters in the bar that Harry used to go to, and they all knew him as one of the only relatives Monkey had that he got along with. Since he also planned to become a hunter (if only to join Harry and keep him safe) they gave him all sorts of tips and the like.

To the annoyance of Dumbledore, Sirius was perfectly happy to use the paper the old man had given him early on to let Hunters in when they needed a safe house to crash in. It was the only reason he hadn't gone barmy by now.

Once he managed to get out, Harry headed to where Loki was waiting. To make sure Harry stayed off the Order's radar long enough to get the job done personally...he was giving the kid a lift.

Harry could get home on his own with his card that was connected to his account in the Swiss Alps. Harry never used his magical gold in the real world...he didn't want Dumbledore aware of all of his purchases.

* * *

"WOAH! Dude, who the hell are you?!" said Dean in shock.

"You called me, remember? Name's Monkey Magic."

"I was kinda expecting some of that mojo Sammy said you had," said Dean, trying to get his heart rate down.

"I happen to like Sam. He's funny. Anyway, there are very few things that can make a hunter disappear for days when there are others actively searching, and I want to make sure Sam gets back alive if you don't mind," said Harry with a glare.

"How did you get here like that?" asked Dean, tempted to reach for his gun.

"Angel Express. Before you ask, Angels do in fact exist, but you haven't attracted their attention quite yet," said Harry flatly.

"Then how do you plan to get back home?"

"I have a card that'll buy me a ticket back to England. Do you have any idea how much I've earned selling accurate quality info to hunters, especially with the book I made?" said Harry rhetorically.

Dean looked mildly impressed.

"So what's your real name?"

"Harry, but I could care less if you call me Monkey. Anyway, where was the last time you saw Sam?"

As Dean and Harry hammered out details for finding Sam, said Hunter was still very much unaware of what was going on.

* * *

"Sammy!" said Dean. Sam looked like he had gotten in a fight with a bear, as there was blood all over him.

"Hold on Dean...hand him this first," said Harry quietly. Dean took the paper from the kid and handed it to Sam. Sam cried out in shock and pain as the portable devil trap activated automatically.

"What the hell was that?!" said Dean.

"Portable devil's trap. Activates on contact with anyone possessed."

"Dude...how the hell do you make those?" asked Dean.

"Magic. And I mean that literally."

"_Little Harry Potter. Didn't expect you to show up,"_ sneered the demon.

"So you know who I am. Big freaking deal."

Harry used a minor cutting charm to check Sam's arms. There on his right was a strange marking.

"Oh you're a clever one aren't you? Placing that there insures that the usual method of dealing with you is out, and I know they don't have the Colt anymore...not like Dean here would dare use it on his brother."

"_We know of you Potter. You've attracted a lot of attention above and below with your research,"_ said the demon.

"Whoop-de-freaking do. Like I care! Since you're in a talkative mood, who are you?"

The demon-possessed Sam sneered at Dean.

"_He should know... The two idiots were the ones to send me back last time!"_

"Son of a bitch. It's that floozy demon twit that Sam fell for that turned out to be Azazel's bitchy daughter!" said Dean.

"So you know who this is? Goodie, that means I have some fun ideas to use on her!" said Harry with false cheer.

"_You can't hurt me, little wizard. Not without setting off Dean,"_ said the snide demon.

"Yeah, here's the thing. Dean here has agreed not to shoot me since I proved I'm not in league with you idiots and happen to be wearing angel glyphs. He's also agreed to let me help him find his brother and save his sorry ass if he needs it."

Harry reached into his ever-present bag and brought out a book. The demon seemed to pause in it's sneering when it saw it.

"_Where in the name of Lucifer did you find a copy of that? They were all destroyed!"_

"What's got it so worked up?" asked Dean.

"What I have here, Dean, is a copy of an extremely rare book particularly designed to exorcise demons...permanently. It took forever to translate the damn thing, and when I realized what it was I have been trying to find someone who would be willing to recreate it faithfully so that I can sell it to other hunters who specialize in demons. The only issue is that it's been hard to get permission from Rome to recreate it, and they keep bugging me to hand it over," said Harry, somewhat annoyed.

"Where did you find it though?"

"Ironically enough the Black family library. My godfather Grim thought it was really funny when he heard what the book was for, considering most of his family would easily end up on your particular radar should you ever go to England. My guess is that they had it to get rid of unwanted guests."

As Harry started to chant in Latin (with perfect accuracy to Dean's amazement and the demon's horror) the glyph that the demon burned into Sam's arm started to burn like hell. It burst into flames, causing a minor burn mark on his skin, before pitch black smoke came out of his mouth. Sam collapsed and Dean immediately dragged him out of the circle without worrying about the thing smudging. There was an inhuman shriek of pain as it started to burn up.

Finally it was gone, and it took the devil's trap with it. The paper it had been on was pitch black and reeked of sulfur.

"Dean? What... Where am I?" said Sam.

"You were hijacked by a demon, one who wasn't too happy with either of you," said Harry, putting the book back into his bag.

"Who are you?"

"Nice to finally meet you face to face, Psychic_Sammy."

"Monkey Magic is a kid?" said Sam incredulous.

"Your brother called me for help, and since I happen to like what I heard of you two enough to actually care if you lived, I came here personally. Sorry to hear about your dad by the way, he was one of my best customers."

"And get this Sammy...he came here on an Angel," said Dean.

It had taken some convincing, but Dean finally believed in angels...if only because Harry had shown him an angel glyph instead of a demon one and Bobby confirmed it for him.

"Actually I just asked for a lift here. I have to get back on my own," said Harry pleasantly.

"I thought you lived in England?" asked Sam, sitting up.

"I do. Which reminds me, we better take care of that burn of yours before it gets infected by demon taint."

Harry reached into his bag and brought out a jar of some strange cream. Dean had rinsed it off, but it still hurt like hell. Harry took out a small amount of the cream and spread it on the burn. To the brother's shock it started to heal on contact.

"General healing salve with aloe. But what makes this unique is that it keeps dark magic or demon taint from taking hold once applied."

"What else is in it?"

"Freshly ground unicorn horn and phoenix tears, mixed with aloe and lunar flowers then simmered under the full moon. What you get is a salve that actively counters injuries caused by anything tainted with evil," said Harry.

"Unicorns don't exist," said Dean.

"They do, but contrary to popular belief they do not ride on silver moonbeams or shoot rainbows out their ass. They do, however, tend to come closer to virgins and those pure of heart than most others," said Harry.

"I thought it was a crime to cut off a unicorn horn," muttered Sam as the salve worked it's magic.

"Actually we just picked it off the ground. It's a crime to drink their blood, but not pick up their horn or use their tail hair. As for phoenixes, they are rather picky about who they bond to. Though I cheated and stole some feathers off one I know. Man was he pissed off," chuckled Harry.

Fawkes still wouldn't stay in the same room as Harry unless someone was there to keep him from stealing more feathers. Considering it was his tail feather in his wand, Harry felt it was fair trade off.

"Dean...it's not hurting anymore," said Sam in shock.

"Naturally. Phoenix tears have healing powers after all. I think he only contributed his tears to keep me from stealing anymore feathers off him," said Harry.

"I'm more surprised Dean hasn't tried to shoot you yet like he did the vampires."

"Bobby vouched for me when he knew what was going on. I sent him some books a while back and he sent me copies in return. Once he heard who Dean was trying to verify he was willing to help out. Now, while you and Dean recover from the shock, I'll be tracking down where you've been for the past few days," said Harry.

* * *

Harry came back an hour later with food.

"Well?" asked Dean.

"It's official. Sam's a Bon Jovi fan."

"What?"

"Checked in two days ago under the name Richard Sambora, no one's heard or seen anything out of the ordinary since you've been here. Oh, and I've heard that a hunter fifty miles away has been quiet for the past few days. I agreed to check it out for his friends when they heard I was in the area," said Harry.

"Why would they trust you to do it?" asked Dean.

"I'm Monkey Magic. Very few hunters know I live in England and everyone knows I give accurate information or your money back to your last of kin. Most hunters trust me because they know that even if I did dislike them, I still give them information they can trust."

"If you lied then your reputation would be on the line," said Sam, clarifying it for Dean.

"Yeah. If I'm right, then chances are that demon attacked a hunter through you, and he hasn't had time to contact anyone."

"Or he's dead," said Sam morbidly.

"Nice optimistic attitude. No, I think he was more likely wounded too badly to contact anyone about the attack, which gives me and Dean time to clear the air and possibly get you two a pair of shiny new tattoos to keep this from happening again," said Harry.

"How do you know he might be alive?"

"I tracked his IP address. The computer is still on and according to the virus I used it's still active. If he were dead, then he wouldn't have time to search for demons online or contact me five minutes ago for information," said Harry dryly.

* * *

The hunter had been pissed off when he got a hold of Harry for information to kill demons with. Harry was going to deliver some devil traps for him and sigils that he could layer his house with to prevent a repeat of what happened with Sam.

It took Harry a few days to find out where Sam had been or what he had done. He had delivered free portable devil traps to the hunter that had been badly injured (also paying his hospital bill) and layered so many demon traps around the house that it would take someone of Azazel's rank to even get past them. If it had been a safe house before, now it was fortress.

Bobby came soon after.

"Nice to finally meet the Monkey," said Bobby.

"Same here. How have those books been working out?"

"Helped me increase the protection on my house. Can't believe you found them in your school of all things," he answered.

"Well I've contacted and helped the hunter who was attacked by Sam when he was possessed. He's agreed to keep quiet about who was in his house since I upgraded his protection and gave him some portable demon traps. I can have some sent your way in a week, cause it takes time to make them," said Harry.

"Thanks. For helping the idjits and saving Sam."

"I like Sam. He's an amusing guy. Besides, this beats being cooped up in that damn house all Christmas break," said Harry with a shrug.

* * *

Once things were settled, Harry called Sirius through his new phone. It was an older model, but it worked for Sirius who wasn't used to technology.

"_Hey pup, how did it go?"_

"Demon possessed the younger Winchester. We got it sorted out easily enough, but at least now they know that some witches aren't entirely evil," said Harry.

"_Yeah...just to warn you, Hermione and Molly are on the warpath since you left. I would avoid the house until Christmas if I were you,"_ said Sirius nervously.

"Well Loki did mention Disney Land..." mused Harry.

"_Enjoy your break pup, and be sure to send me some good photos later. I'll hold down the fort until you get back,"_ said Sirius, hanging up abruptly when he heard the door open. Harry caught the voice of Hermione before it ended though.

"Ouch. Glad I'm not in his shoes," muttered Harry.

Loki appeared a few hours after the Winchesters went on to their next hunt.

"So where to first runt?"

"Disney World, or maybe Universal Studios. I got a request from Sirius to send him some good pictures."

"I can get him some magazines...he's definitely earned them for that one," said Loki with a grin.


	6. Chapter 6

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" shrieked Hermione when Harry finally reappeared on Christmas.

"Helping out a hunter. His brother was frantic and since we had become friends I decided to help out personally just in case. Good thing I did too, or they would have been in more trouble if I hadn't," said Harry bluntly.

"What kind of trouble?"

"The younger had been possessed by a demon they had pissed off and the demon trap the older brother handed over caught it long enough for me to exorcise it forcefully. Plus I finally got to test my Light Salve on demon taint. Worked perfectly," said Harry.

"Light Salve?" asked Hermione.

"I was going to call it Angel Salve, but Loki didn't like the name.

"Why didn't you tell me where you went?"

"And have the Order on my ass? Hermione, I needed a break! You know what I did after the demon was dealt with?"

"What?"

"I got to be a kid for the first time in my life. I didn't have to worry about demons, the Order, Voldemort or any of that crap for four whole days and it was great! I actually have good memories to look back on," said Harry bitterly.

Loki had been very thorough by dragging Harry to all sorts of things all over America.

Hermione looked properly chastised at that news. She dropped her anger because for the first time since she'd known him, Harry didn't look like had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Just give us some warning next time," she said finally.

"Fair enough. I brought something back for you though. Happy Christmas," said Harry, handing over the book he had found in an antique shop.

"An original copy of _Lord of the Rings_? Where did you find this?!" she said with glee.

"What, did you think I wouldn't get it for you when I saw it? I knew you liked old books and that seemed right up your alley," said Harry with a grin.

"And what are those?"

"Presents for Sirius, Ron and the twins. Mostly Sirius though," said Harry. Loki had walked into some questionable shops and bought them using Harry's card. On the plus side he got three new customers in the form of Sam, Dean and Bobby, who were more than interested in Harry's satellite and cell phone plans.

All the coverage of a major network with no chance of anyone from the government or state officials getting access to the records. It was an extra piece of security that Harry promised to hunters: safety from the authorities tracking them down via their phone's GPS signal or IP address. Considering Dean was on the FBI's wanted list because of a shapeshifter, this was a good thing.

Well, that and Harry already had a lucrative business selling plans to the magically inclined. He had a nice little nest egg because of them, and he already had several more satellites being sent back into orbit to add to his coverage plans.

Naturally the goblins loved him and his little business.

Sirius was crowing to the other guys about his adorable godson. The magazines were of better quality than the old ones he had, and Harry had promised to set up a P.O. Box so Sirius could have a regular subscription to it. Ron was already engrossed in his three, and the twins were smart enough to hide theirs before their mother came round to check on them.

Ron had his ears boxed once Molly realized what he was reading. Harry was wisely hiding in Buckbeak's room.

* * *

Harry got a call from Dean a month after Christmas for information. The second he mentioned Djinn, Harry knew something bad was going on. He gave Dean everything he needed right before the phone went dead for some reason.

A few days later he got another call from Dean, thanking him apparently the information really saved his ass. Over the next few weeks he got regular calls from Dean or Sam, not that he minded. Apparently they considered him part of the family after the incident where he saved Sam from a demon before they had known it was there.

Harry didn't mind, as he rather liked them once they quit drawing a gun every time he brought his wand out.

* * *

"Another year has gone, and now we must award points..." droned Dumbledore.

It had been a hectic year for Hogwarts, with Loki and all. On the plus side, Harry had been able to get through his OWLs without incident, aside from that odd vision he had of Sirius in the Department of Mysteries.

A quick phone call and Sirius broke into the Ministry with about fifteen other hunters who had been crashing in Grimmauld place. Not only did they take out ten Death Eaters, but they also caught Pettigrew, making Sirius a free man.

There was a catch, however. Dumbledore still wanted Harry to stay at Privet Drive for two weeks. No contact.

Ever since Vernon and Dudley's death, Petunia had been withdrawn. She had been near the brink of death and it was a sad fact that she had looked back on her actions against her sister's son and felt shame. When she heard what her nephew planned to do in life she had done everything she could to help him accomplish that goal.

That didn't mean he cared for her much...he remembered all too well what she had been like before the Wendigo incident.

That was why before he finished packing he told Petunia what was going on and how they would deal with this. Namely that he would be vacationing outside Europe and he would give her free run of a vacation house where they couldn't get to her if she wanted.

She declined, saying that if they killed her at least she would be with her son again.

Harry took the first flight out of England, leaving Sirius to handle the new group who had organized to deal with Death Eaters in a more permanent fashion.

The minute word got out among the hunters, and the fact that Dumbledore expected their favorite monkey to do his dirty work a mob began to form. Then Sirius got them organized with some of the more sensible Order members.

Now there was a force one hundred strong, armed with magic-canceling amulets that would allow them to see through muggle-repelling charms and the like. And they had one goal in mind...dealing with Voldemort and his lackeys permanently, since it had become clear Dumbledore would only release them to do more damage later.

All it took to organize them was the promise that they wouldn't be hunted down by the muggle cops later, and that anyone marked had earned those through some pretty reprehensible acts. Some against children.

* * *

"Hey Loki. What's the game today?" asked Harry, acting as Loki's younger brother off from school. (Which he was, so he technically wasn't lying.)

"This prick agrees with Voodletort. Thought I would give him a taste of his own medicine, since we were forbidden from direct interference," said Loki grinning.

"And you're attracting hunters like flies to honey in the process. Two birds with one stone," said Harry appreciative.

The game Loki was playing would catch the American hunters pretty damn fast, meaning he would get killed through indirect means.

"Is that candy I smell?" said Loki hopefully. Harry handed over his Almond Joy. He had gotten it for Loki as he wasn't that fond of coconut to begin with.

"Have at it," said Harry.

"Coconut? I thought you hated it?"

"I do, and I got that for you anyway. I have a Hershey with almonds with my name on it," said Harry dryly.

Loki snorted and took a bite out of his candy bar.

Two days into messing with the idiot pure blood (who was apparently from England seeking to recruit for Voldie) a hunter came and killed him.

It might have lasted longer, but Harry had put the word out that there was a dark witch on the loose and what town he was in.

Hunters got more prey through his blog than they did listening to reports of unusual activity. It helped that Harry did most of the research and told them what they were hunting, or the best guess.

"Honestly little bro, I don't see why you want to join the hunter ranks when you earn more money by being an information broker."

"Easy, just peddling information to the right people is boring as hell, even if I don't have to fill out paperwork for it. But hunting will give me my adrenaline fix with the added bonus of making sure that what I kill is actually worth the effort. Besides, this way I help save people without actually being there."

"The infamous 'saving people thing'. I have to admit, Hermione had it pegged."

"She still in shock that I'm better at research than she is. You should have heard her rant when she asked why I didn't put as much effort into my school work as I did hunting the supernatural baddies," snickered Harry.

Loki laughed, as Harry had shared that particular memory with him.

* * *

_Flashback..._

"_Harry Potter! I want answers! Why is it that you are an expert in finding out what hunters are dealing with in five minutes, but can't make a comprehensible scroll on the Ganth's theory?" demanded Hermione._

_Harry closed his laptop and looked at her._

"_Hermione, at what point would that help me in the real world? The things I actually do put effort in are mostly to help others. How would turning in a long parchment that was homework help me deal with banshees? How would caring about Snape's opinion of my writing skills matter against an angry ghost?"_

"_If you just put half the effort that you put into that blog you could be top student!"_

"_And have more people understand what my real skills are? No thank you. Once I graduate I am not going to deal with the magical communities except in passing and I am most certainly going to avoid Ginerva Weasley like the damn plague. I don't know why people seem to believe we'll end up together," said Harry flatly._

_Hermione didn't know how to answer that._

"_Why do you do it? Research about all this darkness?" she asked quietly._

"_When I was seven a Wendigo killed my uncle and cousin, and my aunt was only spared because I told a hunter where the thing had come from. Seeing a man who willingly faced the darkness every time he hunted made me think. What if I was that hunter who saved a terrified little boy holed up in the tree? What if I could help them push back the darkness, if only for a short while? So I started looking, and quickly found that I was good at finding the darkness and how to stop it."_

_Harry's eyes took a shaded turn. As if he was remembering something._

"_I remember the first time I went to the hunter bar. They were discussing a banshee problem, and I told them exactly how to find and kill it. They thanked me for the information when I saw them again. After a while they even gave me a nickname, and for the first time in my life I felt I belonged to something greater. Eventually it just took a life of it's own and lead to what you see today. The research monkey helping others out because he cared," said Harry._

"_You knew you were too young to combat the darkness directly, so you chose to help indirectly and save lives," said Hermione quietly._

"_And with every hunter I help, I save another life."_

"_For Merlin's sake Harry, you have _the_ worst case of saving people I have ever seen!" said Hermione exasperated...though she did get off his case about the homework._

_Flashback end..._

* * *

Harry was playing poker against Loki and winning when he got the call from Sam. He had signed up for overseas education according to the Ministry, so they wouldn't bother him for not going to Hogwarts. His paperwork was filed and lost in the chaos of most of the other students jumping ship.

"Hey Sammy, what's up? Whoa, whoa, slow down. Dean's what now?"

Harry listened with surprise when he heard the fact Dean had sold his soul to save his brother from death.

"Yeah, I hear you. Unfortunately that is one area I don't dabble in. Breaking crossroad deals would attract a hell of a lot more attention than having that book. What I can do is make it easier for you guys by narrowing down the demon who has it," said Harry.

Loki looked at him with interest.

"The information won't be free this time. I always charge for demon information, no matter who's asking. Because you two are on Hell's radar so to speak, I can rule out most of the lower level and mediocre demons. What, you didn't know? You two are more hated than Constantine was back when he was alive!" said Harry with amusement. Which wasn't an understatement oddly enough.

Loki snorted.

"Sammy, I hate to break it to you, but the name Winchester is well known in hell from what I heard. Between you two and your dad, you stepped on a _lot_ of toes. I also heard the angels aren't exactly fond of you Sammy...well most aren't. You two seriously need to mingle with hunters more often," said Harry, "Sorry I couldn't help."

Harry hung up, and saw Loki looking at him with amusement.

"The two idiots haven't picked up that they're special vessels for your brothers yet," said Harry.

"With the way they act, chances are they won't know until someone tells them," said Loki.

"I can't believe they thought I would know how to break a crossroads deal," said Harry.

"While you are an expert in demonology, that is above your pay-grade so to speak. Besides, even if you wanted to break Dean's contract, you would have to deal with both angels and demons to do it. A lot of people want to see the apocalypse happen," said Loki.

"Which was why I gave them only the minimum information."

"And there's yet another reason I like you runt," said Loki with a grin.

"The fact I feed your sugar addiction doesn't hurt either," snorted Harry, "Hermione nearly had a heart attack when she realized how much sugar you ate on a good day."

The two continued their game (Harry won at the end) before they drove to another town.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been several months since Dean had died, and Sam was only able to cope because of Harry, who had shown up a few days after. Harry was able to keep Sam from his funk by keeping him on the trail of several monsters that needed to be dealt with. He was barely able to keep that demon girl from latching her claws into him.

Recently though, Harry had been getting the feeling something big was about to happen.

That feeling finally ended when he heard a knock on the door.

"Was wondering when you would pop up. Welcome back Dean."

"How did you know...?" started Dean, but Harry cut him off.

"It took that winged idiot long enough to find you... Loki tipped me off," was all Harry said in answer.

"How would Loki know I would be back?" asked Dean.

"Long story short, there's a few things you two idiots haven't picked up on yet that most people have. One of which is that neither of you will stay dead for very long because Lucy and Mikey wouldn't have it."

"Lucy? Mikey?" said Sam, before he stopped short at the sight of Dean.

"I told you he would be back. Why else would I track you down to keep you from wallowing in misery alone?" said Harry flatly.

"I don't... How did you know?"

"Alright, both of you sit down. The short version is that there is a war coming and you two fools are right in the heart of it. Unlike most of the research monkeys, I happen to prefer being on the front lines, hence why I started talking to you Sam. One of the big thing is that you two were unfortunately tapped as Vessels for two angels, specifically Lucifer and Micheal. Two guesses which of you gets to play what part."

"How do you know?" asked Dean.

"Nostradamus foretold the coming of the vessels and the fall of the seals that hold Lucifer in the pit. It took a while but eventually all the signs started showing up saying that the Winchester brothers were the ones tapped for the job. The end result is that neither of you will stay dead for very long before someone drags your sorry asses back."

"So who dragged me back?"

"All I know from Loki was that an angel was sent to bring you back, not sure which but I'm guessing one of the rare ones that isn't a total ass."

"Why would this Loki know so much?" asked Bobby. It was the one thing he couldn't figure out.

"He would rather me not spoiling the surprise, if I know my big brother."

"Why do you call him that anyway? I mean you aren't related to him as far as we can tell," said Sam.

"Simple. He's one of the closest things I've ever come to in terms of being an older brother, and that's not counting the twins. Plus he's always there for me and it confuses the hell out of others."

"So what now?"

"Now we wait for the cranky angel to come here and tell you the same things I did."

* * *

They drove to a nearby psychic, and Harry warned her that it was an angel who did the grabbing, but they had no idea which one.

It only took her five minutes to find out.

"Castiel? Figures...he's a bit of a drone if what I heard was right," snorted Harry.

"How do you know it was an angel?" asked Bobby.

"Want the long or short answer?"

"Short."

"I don't deal with demons, but with angels. Or rather one angel since for some reason the others dislike me. No idea why, seeing as how I try to avoid sinning," said Harry.

"People can make deals with angels?" said Sam.

"When they're inclined to help humans, yeah. See demons are more likely to be the ones to answer you, as most angels don't particularly like us because we're supposedly god's favorite. Lucifer hates us, but once we're gone the demons are likely next 'cause he's not to fond of them either."

* * *

Harry was half asleep on the bed when he heard the hum.

"SON OF A BITCH! CASTIEL, KNOCK THAT CRAP OUT OR I'LL KICK YOU OUT MYSELF!" yelled Harry. Dean was up in a heartbeat at the first shout.

The hum stopped.

"Where's Sam?" said Dean.

"Dammit, not again. I've been helping Sam train his powers, but he's been seeing this demon named Ruby. I don't know what she's been doing to him, but he gets erratic every time they meet. Remember those demons we ran into? He might have gone to deal with them," spat Harry.

"You've got to be kidding me. What do we do now?"

"We find the idiot and drag him back. Let's get moving."

"So, how exactly do you know it was an angel that did the grabbing?" asked Dean.

"Aside from the name? Demons can't yank souls out of hell. It's against the rules. Angels, on the other hand, can. Besides, it was all over the chatter," said Harry.

"What chatter?"

Harry sighed.

"A few months back I started picking up this weird noise. Didn't know what the hell it was. When I saw Loki it got louder...you should have seen the look on his face when I complained about the noise level in front of him. Somehow I can hear the Angels speaking. Loki told me he would look into it, but basically I can pick up angel signals."

"So who is Castiel?"

"A foot soldier, but he's also the angel of Thursday."

"And why would an angel grab me?"

"Like I said before, there's a war that's about to erupt. Lucifer will rise sometime within the next few years, so they needed you alive to act as vessel for Micheal. Pretend you don't know and you'll just get the 'God has work for you Dean' spiel."

"So how do we summon him?"

"Two ways. Either a summoning ritual, which is not likely to work if he doesn't feel like answering...or I yell at him to come."

"By all means, yell your heart out," said Dean.

"Sam first, then we deal with Mister I-have-major-issues-with-my-volume level," said Harry grumpily.

"So that humming was..."

"That was him talking without a vessel in the way. The idiot was even shouting, which hurt like hell," said Harry flatly.

* * *

Harry drove them to where the Impala was, started speaking in Latin which drove the demon to cry out in pain, and then slapped Sam across the head.

"How many times do I have to say it Sammy? Ignore the demon bitch! Keep this up and I won't let you two idjits have a little chat with the one who dragged Dean back," snapped Harry.

"But..."

"Sam, there are easier ways to amplify your damn powers than drinking demon's blood. And you know how I feel about demons," said Harry annoyed.

"Drinking demon's blood?!" said Dean.

"Demon's blood is what got you two idiots in this mess to begin with. Do you really want to see the road that it leads to if you keep drinking it?" said Harry.

While Dean gave Sam the stink eye, Harry drove to an out of the way area.

"Right, I'll call Castiel, but he won't be able to see me so pretend I'm not here," said Harry.

"Why not?"

"Loki said it would be a very bad idea to get Angelic attention on me this soon. Something about my 'destiny' being changed from what was originally intended."

In fact Loki went to great length about how Harry was originally supposed to master 'Death' and take out Voldemort and then grow old with Ginny. The very idea made him very sick to his stomach, because he wasn't interested in Ginny at all. Frankly he would rather be a hunter than some Ministry drone.

_**~CASTIEL, GET YOUR FEATHERED ASS DOWN HERE AND EXPLAIN!~**_ yelled Harry mentally.

Then he grabbed his cloak and threw it on and activated a few angel glyphs for good measure. He had found a way to deactivate them so as not to alert the angels.

The sound of feathers was heard from close by, and they waited.

Castiel was pretty damn surprised about Dean knew about the two of them being vessels.

By the time he left, Dean had a massive headache.

"Harry, why is it that out of all the supernatural crap we run into, you're the only one who ever gives us a straight answer?" complained Dean.

"Beats me. I get mysterious and all, but I've been through too many adventures on my own where information could have saved us a hell of a lot of trouble. Why do you think I started up that blog before I was twelve?" said Harry removing his cloak.

After the headache he got from dealing with Dumbledore's non-information policy and the trouble he could have avoided with all the facts, Harry made his blog and started looking for hunts so he could give hunters all the information up front. It was why his site was the most frequently visited out of all the other hunter's sites...he gave them the information so they could focus on dealing with the monster.

The only reason he never dealt with it personally was because half the time it was an ocean away from England. He had only ever hunted the rare few he could convince his aunt to drive to. Which wasn't much.

"So what do we do now?"

"We hunt. I keep an eye out for anything in the area and do my usual gig of sending hunters to their quarry, unless I happen to be closer."

"Wait, you send them on hunts?" said Dean.

"I have most of the veteran hunters on speed dial, and when I give the alert, they either run or go into hiding depending on the information. If something that kills hunter's specifically is out on the loose, I let them know so they can get to a safe house."

"How many?" asked Sam.

"In America alone? At least a thousand. China has like, five last I checked. I have wide coverage options," shrugged Harry.

"A thousand?" said Sam.

"Consider how many people are in America. At least several million. Compared to that a thousand is a drop in the bucket. About the only people I don't have are the rookies, though the vets send them my way eventually if they don't get killed."

"So how do you know to send them on hunts?" asked Dean.

"My blog has this little box where you input the zip code or city and state. Five seconds and you get all the hunts within fifty miles. Generally they call me after that," said Harry.

It had taken some tricky work on his site to filter out the fake data, and to have it narrow things down to fifty miles.

Sam pulled up the blog and inputted the city and state. Ten hits came up, just as Harry said they would.

"See? Makes hunting a hell of a lot easier on the hunters. At least I give them a heads up about what it is or the best guess. That's a hell of a lot more than most of the sites do."

"Dude, I think there's a reason why people call you a research monkey," said Dean, looking at the references and the number of hunts.

"The only time I go on a hunt is if I happen to be closer or it warrants magical intervention, which most of you hunters don't have. It's only because of me that ten innocent magicals were spared," said Harry.

"What do you mean?"

"My site is known for accurate information that tells the blunt honesty, right?"

"Yeah. Even if the information is embarrassing or hard to understand, you give it like it is," said Sam.

"Well I've told the world point blank that there is a race of magicals who aren't evil and haven't made deals with any devils. If something flags as a witch or wizard, I go to them personally and give them a heads up that they aren't being discrete enough. Generally that tends to help and they move. The American Ministry almost told me off until they learned what I was doing, so now most hunters are aware that witches and wizards still exist but aren't doing anything. Thanks to that I've spared seven witches and three wizards from Europe from getting killed because of stupidity," said Harry.

Harry zoomed out on his page.

"See here? For those magically inclined, or hunters who have earned a special passcode to see this map, I have the marked locations of witches and all the areas where they congregate. Some hunters don't like magicals that much, so I had to filter them out of the equation."

There were fifteen hits on the magical side, all close by.

"What about those who hurt others?" asked Dean.

"Well those I do alert to hunters, along with the warning to keep them from talking. I usually get the gold for bounties and the like, but in return they get information for free until that runs out," said Harry.

"Why would you get the gold?" asked Dean.

"Most hunters don't exactly _have_ bank accounts, and it's a workable deal. They get free information until the balance evens out, and it's not like they don't know about it. There's a notice on each Bounty on a witch/wizard that says how much information they can get for free until they have to pay again."

Harry pointed out the bounties, which included a 'kill count' based off of most video games. Along side that was a notice that said what information they could get for free, usually high priced ones.

"See? It's a fair exchange."

"I forget sometimes that you have hunters pay for the information," said Sam.

"How much?" asked Dean.

"A hundred fifty for the basic hunts, two hundred for specials. Though that circle I sent your dad, which classed as 'demon info', netted me two thousand."

"Why is it so high?" asked Bobby.

"Demon info and the like is high-risk stuff. Giving things like that away puts me at more risk of divine intervention and the like, so I tend to charge more. I'm on their radar enough as it is," shrugged Harry.

"I can see that," said Dean.

In reality they could. Just because they took challenging demons lightly didn't mean everyone else did.

"So where are you going now?"

"Regroup with Loki, catch the latest chatter among the heavens... Though something tells me we'll see each other pretty soon if what I've heard is right," said Harry.

"What makes say that?" asked Dean.

"Lilith's becoming more active again, in response to your resurrection. She'll start breaking seals soon if my guess is right."

"What seals?" asked Bobby.

"Castiel will tell Dean if the first one breaks," said Harry, apparating to his usual safe house. He could find Loki later.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry spent a day trying to find his brother. Then he got word of strange spirits killing humans. Someone managed to send a picture of a marking they had on them, and Harry paled.

"Shit...the witnesses."

Harry sent a mass e-mail to every hunter on his list about the 'mark of the witness' and to get underground until they were put to rest again. He explained what it meant and why they had to hide in ghost-proof rooms until it was settled. Around the globe, thousands of Hunters got the word out and went into hiding. Hunts were finished early and they went to ground.

Harry immediately apparated into Bobby's safe house under his home and kept people alert of what was happening.

Harry woke up to hear Dean and Sam arguing about Castiel. He would have come out, but with the witnesses out and about he didn't want to deal with them.

He had the worst feeling Vernon and Dudley would show up, and frankly he did _not_ want anyone to know what originally set him on the path of being a hunter/research monkey. That and the fact he would shot them first would raise too many questions he didn't want Dean or Sam to ask later.

* * *

Sam and Dean came crashing down the stairs with Bobby after their encounters with the witnesses. Harry was sound asleep in the safe room under his cloak with an iron knife in his right hand.

"Wait a second...do you two hear snoring?" said Dean after the door was locked.

They crept over to the bed and Dean poked it with his rifle. Harry's right hand slashed at where Dean's groin would be, had he not jumped back at the last second.

"Dude! Not cool!" said Dean.

"Reflex," snorted Harry.

"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were with Loki!" said Dean upset.

"I was looking for him...right up until I got a five hour warning that the witnesses were about," said Harry annoyed.

Bobby started looking for his phone and found the message.

"Dammit..."

"You two lunkhead need to check your text messages more often. I sent a mass alert to every hunter that the mark of the witness was spotted and to go to ground until they were dealt with."

"Mark of the witness?" said Bobby.

"Someone raised the souls of those you weren't able to save, and the mark was placed on them. Until the counter spell is used, they'll keep on attacking any hunter they come across. The second I realized what was going on, I sent everyone to ground and hid in here," said Harry.

"How long have you been here?" demanded Bobby.

"Three days, at least," he answered.

"Three days?! Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because the second I step out of this place, I'll have to deal with the only witnesses that I couldn't save. And frankly I didn't want the headache of you finding out about that," said Harry flatly, "And I case you didn't notice, I did say something! I sent an alert to every hunter on the network!"

"Wait, you have deaths on your conscience too?" said Dean.

"Not exactly. More like people I could care less about that happened to die on someone else's hunt," said Harry.

"Why don't you explain while we start making salt rounds," said Sam.

"You remember what I told you about why I got into hunting, right?" said Harry with a tired sigh.

"Yeah, a Wendigo showed up and you barely managed to avoid getting caught," said Sam.

"What I didn't tell you was how my uncle and cousin died."

"Start talking kid. We got some time since you sent most of the hunters to ground, and I'll need that to find the counter spell," said Bobby.

"I was seven and my 'family' took me out with them on a camping trip. I always suspected they planned to ditch me in that forest. Anyway I heard what I thought were wolves and climbed up the tree to keep from being eaten. My aunt had gone to the restroom not a few hundred feet from where their site was. Three days passed and I didn't come down until a hunter found me up in that tree. He found and killed the Wendigo, but not before my cousin and uncle's hearts gave out from terror. After that my aunt quit treating me like a freak."

"So your witnesses..." started Dean.

"My fatass uncle and cousin. I was a kid with no idea of what was going on, but since I've saved everyone I could, they would be the most likely ones to appear. Just give me a gun or something of iron and I'll deal with them myself," said Harry with bitterness.

"Why wouldn't you feel concerned about them?" asked Sam. Something didn't seem right.

"I come from an abusive home, or it was until that day. My uncle hated me because of my magic, and his son took after him in the worst ways. Petunia never raised a hand against me after she learned I was the reason why she was still alive. Either that or my mother spared her and she realized how much of a bitch she had been. It would have been four years of hell had that monster not killed them with fright."

Harry raised his shirt and showed them his back. There were old scars, most likely from a belt across his back.

"You can see why I wasn't exactly upset or gave a damn when the Wendigo tried to lure me out using them," said Harry bitterly.

"Found the counter spell," said Bobby.

"What do you need?" asked Harry flatly.

"Wormwood, hemlock and opium," said Bobby.

"Opium?" said Dean.

"I have wormwood and hemlock, but that last one would be trickier. Does it need to be fresh or dried?"

"Dried," said Bobby. Harry reached into his bag and found two vials before he tossed it to Bobby.

"Why would you have..."

"I'm a wizard Dean. I brew potions," said Harry exasperated.

"Sam, hex box upstairs, it will be heavy," said Bobby.

"I got the opium," said Dean.

"Under the silverware, in a false bottom," said Bobby.

"I'll cover Bobby," said Harry.

Harry lit the fire for Bobby before he dumped enough salt to give someone a heart attack on the ground. It was thick enough for him to put warding signs in it.

He was about to finish the last sign when he saw the familiar shoes of a fat boy and his father.

"Vernon and Dudley. Was wondering if you were the ones to show up," said Harry.

"You could have saved us," said Dudley.

"Nice try. I was seven and hadn't even started the business. If you're looking for a guilt trip, try your mother first," said Harry flatly before he shot both of them in the face.

Harry got real quick with the trigger when he saw the four faces sent to kill them. Henricksen, Meg, Ron, the two little girls and of course Harry's uncle and cousin. He narrowly avoided shooting Dean and Sam.

"Dude...where did you get that many salt rounds?" asked Dean.

"Swiped some of yours. Plus it helps when there is a spell that allows me to 'borrow' some from other hunters who have already gone to ground," said Harry.

Harry kept up an endless assault before his arms started to tire. He tossed the gun to Dean and took an iron poker instead. He had particular pleasure hitting Vernon in the face with that.

The wind tried to blow the salt lines, but Harry countered it with his own...you tend to pick up a few things when you intend to cheat at Quidditch, wind spells being a common example.

(He never cheated, but it was always amusing to hit the Slytherins with the random tailwind that sent them crashing into one another during their practice sessions under his cloak.)

Finally Bobby threw the concoction into the fire, sending the ghosts back to wherever they came from. Harry slumped a little into the nearest chair.

He reached into his pocket and waited for confirmation from above that the witnesses were dealt with.

"Confirmed...the spell was broken," muttered Harry.

"Harry, you okay?" asked Dean. The kid had gotten hit with some book near the end.

"Fine. Just have to send a text in the morning so that the others can come out of hiding," said Harry.

"Yeah...better to let them rest for the night. But let them know that it's okay to get a snack or something," said Dean.

Harry reached for his phone. He nearly dropped it from how tired he was. It took him five minutes to send the 'all clear' signal to the hunters. Dean, Sam and Bobby's phones all made a noise as they got the message.

"So you really do have every hunter on speed dial," said Dean.

"Most of them. I have them grouped by first name, or nicknames. One little button, and a message is sent to everyone who uses my cell network. It's not like they didn't know when they signed up for it...in fact it's part of the welcome package for all confirmed hunters. Let's them know someone is watching their backs, even if they had never met me before."

Harry nearly fell asleep where he was before Dean caught him.

"Was he awake this entire time?" he asked.

None of them had an answer.

Sam looked at the message logs on Harry's laptop.

"He's been awake for two days, keeping tabs on the other hunters. Several of them have been asking for information," said Sam.

"No wonder he was so tired," said Dean. Harry was sound asleep under his cloak again. He had been up nearly the entire time trying to keep hunters alive.

* * *

While Sam snored on the couch, Dean got a late night visit from Castiel.

"So the seals break and...?"

"Lucifer walks free," said Castiel.

"No wonder he wasn't eager to tell us," said Dean.

"Who?"

"Harry. He said you would have more information about the seals than he would," said Dean.

"Who is Harry?" asked Castiel. From his tone Dean could tell what he assumed this 'Harry' was.

"Not a demon. He's a wizard who's helped us out in hunts. Knows a lot about you angels too, come to think of it," said Dean.

Castiel frowned before he left. Dean wasn't exactly too happy with the late night visits all the time.

* * *

"So Lilith was the one who's breaking the seals. Nice to have it confirmed actually," said Harry with a yawn.

"You knew?"

"I had a reasonable guess. Besides, we can't kill Lilith anyway," said Harry.

"Why not?" asked Sam.

"Killing her is the last seal. We really don't need Lucy out and about, now do we?" said Harry.

"How do you know that?"

"An angel told me out of boredom. But that doesn't mean we can't lock her ass someplace so out of the way that it would take eons for her to crawl out," said Harry cheerfully.

"So what now?" asked Dean.

"Now I start looking for seals actively so we can beat the bitch to the punch. Oh, and next time you see Cas, try not to draw any more attention to me? I can't exactly power a seal for weeks on end you know," said Harry.

"How did you..."

"I can hear Angel chatter, remember? Castiel has been fishing for information on a wizard named Harry who knows more than most mortals do about the seals and angels," said Harry annoyed, "The only reason they haven't picked me up is because they still think I'm in England fighting Voodletort."

Which was true. Loki told him point blank that unless the Angels were alerted to the fact he wasn't in England killing off Death Eaters, they would automatically assume the fates had him there and nowhere else. He also mentioned something about a 'reset button' god kept hitting, but it had never made any sense to him.

Harry managed to get up and walk around, having finally gotten a good night's sleep in. A few days later he was off chasing Loki again.

* * *

Loki sighed as Harry kept searching for him. He really hated having to be the one to inform his little brother about the truth, it was never fun at all. It took Harry two weeks to find him, and that was because Loki left him breadcrumbs.

"Who died?" was his first question.

"Sit down little bro. It's never easy to go through this..." started Gabriel.

"What is going on Gabriel? Are Fred and George..."

"They're fine. It's about you. Look, you know the angel chatter over the past couple of weeks has either been about Lilith breaking the seals, the Winchesters or this mystery person named 'Harry' right?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Well there is...dammit, there's a prophecy about you. Two of them in fact, though the second ties into the first."

"I hate prophecies," scowled Harry.

"Yeah, I know. Anyway the first one roughly states that a pure soul will be dragged into hell saving the life of a condemned man, while throwing a damned soul into the pit."

"Nostradamus," said Harry.

"Yup. Anyway according to that, the pure soul will then 'take back what the first of the fallen had lost and rise up into the fold', which really never made sense to me. The second one was the one Dumbledore heard, which is basically you killing Voodletort."

"So what does that have to do with me?"

"I told you about the reset button right?"

"Yeah, never made any sense at all."

"The fates hate it whenever one of their major prophecies get rendered null, so they kept 'resetting' the world for lack of a better term. Originally you were supposed to duel Moldyshorts to the death and be resurrected as Master of Death. However whenever that happened, the original one was revoked and it angered them enough to 'reset' it back to day one, which was the point you were conceived. Finally god got pissed that he kept seeing the world end, so he butted in."

"And?"

"Long story short, you're no longer fully human. My guess is that god wants you to kill Lilith instead of the Winchesters, thus dragging Moldyshorts into the pit with you. Something will then drag you back up straight to me, seeing as how I'm the only other person who remembers the previous scenarios," said Gabriel bluntly.

"Why you?"

"Probably because I'm also Loki, and because in most of them I ended up dead," said Gabriel.

"So the Wendigo...?"

"Was due to God's interference. He was allowed to make minor tweaks to the design, and so he picked you to keep the fates from interfering. So long as you kill Voodletort, they could care less about the rest."

Harry nearly crashed into the first chair he could find.

"I can't believe it."

"Yeah, well I hated being the one drafted into telling you the truth. But I figure it would be better if you knew the whole story before the big showdown, that way you would be prepared," said Gabriel.

"Out of all the sources, you are the only one who's been upfront. I guess I picked up that trait from you," snorted Harry, then a thought occurred to him.

"So the power he knows not is..."

"Anything a wizard can't conceive of, or in this case the fact you'll be dragging him into the pit thanks to your curse scar. Once the demons realize that scar has even a fraction of his soul, they'll drag his ass down themselves for a bit of fun," said Gabriel.

"So all I have to do is kill Lilith?"

"Sam's got an addiction to demon's blood, and once it comes to a head that's when you have to kill her. Look on the bright side...you won't be down there nearly as long as Dean."

"True, and this time I know I'll be coming back up," snorted Harry.

"Come on kid, let's go get drunk!" said Loki, his usual cheer restored.

"Hell yes! I need it after this!" said Harry, jumping off the chair.

They would come back hung over, but over all much happier than they had left.


	9. Chapter 9

_**I would have done a double post for Christmas as a present to you, the fans, but as many of you have probably experienced for yourselves, fanfiction was down the entire day. So Happy Belated Christmas everyone! Safe travels!**_

* * *

"Dammit Loki, that was my last one!" said Harry angrily.

They were currently in some run-down hotel, and Harry had just popped back into England for some treacle tart. Even with the news that he was essentially the only one to off Lilith and Voldemort, he hadn't let it change him.

Right now though the sugar-crazed angel was stealing his last treacle tart.

"Make some more!" cackled Loki. He knew Harry had a knack for sweets, which was half the reason why he let Harry hang around him.

"It was a bitch and a half to pop into England for that much!" said Harry, throwing hexes at Loki. Loki had the treat in his hand but had yet to take a bite.

Loki cackled as he ran around the room right up until he tripped on a trunk that had just appeared.

"OOF!"

"The tart!" yelped Harry. He cast a quick hovering charm on the treat and to his relief it was spared.

"Who left this trunk here?" complained Loki as Harry bit into the treacle tart with obvious relish.

The trunk opened up to reveal Fred and George.

"Dude, not cool," complained Loki.

They looked at Harry, who was grinning like a devil.

"He stole my treacle tart, and your appearance just let me get it back," he said smugly.

"We just escaped out shop being burned down," said Fred.

"Ouch. Well, you're welcome to crash with me until Voodletort gets offed," offered Loki.

"So what's the score?" asked Harry.

"Hunters 30, Death Eaters 2," came George.

"We only came here because of the shop being torched. Jumped into the emergency portkey set to land us wherever Loki was and vanished," said Fred.

"Bet Dumbledore's pissed about the hunters," snickered Harry.

"You've never heard such language! Mum was torn between admonishing and respecting him!" laughed Fred.

"Please tell me you have a pensieve Loki!" snickered Harry.

"You bet!"cackled Loki.

* * *

_In the pensieve..._

"_We must stop them! They are killing people!" said Dumbledore._

"_Only those marked, and only the ones who are caught in the act of doing something that would earn the mark," said Moody gruffly._

"_Who are these people?" demanded Snape. He had nearly died, twice!_

"_Hunters, for the most part," answered Moody. He had recognized a few of them._

"_Hunters?" said McGonagall sharply. She remembered that term, as Potter had said it was his chosen career path before the toad was dealt with. _

"_Ay. Hunters are people who've had bad run-ins with things like werewolves, vampires and ghosts or have suffered from a demon attack. Generally they learn that the thing that attacked was real and do something about it. There's a two thousand hunters in England alone," said Moony._

"_What exactly do hunters do?" asked McGonagall pale._

"_They take down anything that would kill normal humans. A good one can take out an entire coven of vampires. What I would love to know is why the hell Black is running around with them. They generally dislike people like us," said Moody gruffly._

"_Oh good lord...I bet Harry introduced him," said Hermione pinching the bridge of her nose._

"_Harry? Why would Harry know ruffians like that?" demanded Molly._ (Harry could see Fred and George snigger in the memory.)

"_Because he's a research monkey and he's magic!" chimed the twins._

"_You two, explain now!" demanded Dumbledore._

"_Harry was saved by a hunter when he was seven. Ever since he's studied to become one. They like him because he does their research for them. They even gave him the name Monkey Magic," said George._

"_Did you just say Monkey Magic?" said Moody abruptly._

"_Yup."_

"_Every Hunter that's come to a raid has the name 'Monkey Magic' scrawled across those gadgets of theirs," said Moody._

_"Well naturally," said Fred._

"_Harry's the one supplying them information and services."_

"_He's the one who introduced Sirius to the Hunters...though Harry's not in England these days," said Fred._

"_What do you mean he's not here?" demanded Molly._

"_Harry jumped ship ages ago. His aunt may be here, but he isn't," said George._

"_Where is he?!" demanded Dumbledore. How was he supposed to end Voldemort without Harry?_

"_No idea," the twins said in unison._

"_Last we heard, he was with Loki," said George._

"_Though he keeps helping the Winchester brothers," said Fred._

"_Anyway we have to mind the shop. Have fun trying to find Harry!" cackled the twins._

_They caught all of Dumbledore's swearing on tape for Harry later._

* * *

"Great...you lead them right to me!" said Harry with a groan.

"Not really."

"Wizards can't force the goblins to give up your phone records," said Fred.

"And besides..." said George.

"We aren't too sure it was Death Eaters who torched the shop with us in it," said Fred grimly.

"What makes you say that?" asked Loki.

"Someone said the taboo right next to our shop. Five seconds later Death Eaters appear, only they don't go into our place," said George.

"But someone cast a fiend fyre spell at our shop, only the voice was real familiar like," said Fred.

"Real familiar, right Gred?"

"Too right Forge. Who else would have those distinct robes?" said Fred.

"How distinct?" asked Harry.

"Only one wizard would wear orange and purple, and we recognized his voice right off. He was next to the shop and we knew where the fire originated from the sound of the explosion," said George.

"Dumbledore tried to kill us, likely to lure you back to England once you heard the news," said Fred grimly.

"Bloody hell," said Loki. He saw the looks they gave him, and he shrugged, "Hell really is bloody, by the way."

"So what does that mean?" asked Harry.

"It means Dumbledore has slipped off the moral radar. It's happened ten times as far as I'm aware, and it's never ended well."

"How bad?" asked Harry.

"Let's just say that those were among the times god hit the reset button instead of fate," said Loki.

Harry winced.

"So what now?" asked Fred.

"Now we warn the hunters that Dumbledore is looking to kill. Voodletort will be taken out by Harry, just not in the way the old geezer had planned. In any event, we need to brighten things up," said Loki.

"I have an idea," said Harry raising his hand.

As he outlined his plan, Loki was clearly torn between giddiness and laughter.

"She won't be hurt will she?" asked George.

"Not at all. We'll just introduce her as my 'twin' brother who was hidden by the old coot and then have her turn into Dean and Sam."

"And why is this funny?" asked Fred.

"Dean's been framed twice by shapeshifters. Giving her some silver should keep them from trying to kill her," grinned Harry.

"We'll grab her," said the twins in unison.

"And I'll locate the Winchesters. One of the perks of running a site is that I can find them whenever I want," grinned Harry.

"Plus it has the added bonus of screwing with the ever popular Winchester brothers, which is always fun!" cackled Loki.

* * *

"Hey runt, how've you been?" asked Dean.

"Great! Get this, apparently I have a twin brother named Nicky, think he can join us?" asked Harry.

"Where did you find your twin?" asked Sam.

"Dumb-as-a-door apparently stashed him here in the Americas. I ran into him by chance. Get in here Nick!" said Harry.

Dean and Sam watched as Nick came in. He looked exactly like Harry, except for the clothes. What they didn't see was Fred and George under the cloak with a camera waiting for their reaction to a certain Metamorph.

As they got comfortable, Harry waited until Sam went to get pie for Dean before he sprung the surprise on the older Winchester.

"That reminds me...Hey Nick, think you're up to showing Dean here your party trick?" asked Harry. This was going to be funny as hell, especially since Dean and Sam had stashed their guns to avoid frightening 'Nick'.

"Sure!" said 'Nick'. He shook Dean's hand...before his face and features morphed into Dean himself.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" yelled Dean, falling off his chair, scrambling for his gun.

"Oh god, the look on your face!" cackled Harry.

'Nick' was also laughing his ass off...except he dropped the transformation and turned into one Nymphadora (say my first name and die) Tonks.

"I can't believe you were right about his reaction!" giggled Tonks.

"Wait till we get Sam with it too!" snickered Harry.

"Dude, what the hell?!" said Dean, his hand over his heart from shock.

"Meet my cousin from my dad's side, Tonks. She's a metamorph," said Harry snickering.

"Why is she here?" asked Dean.

"I figured you could use a laugh and meet one shapeshifter who wasn't out to kill others," shrugged Harry...before his prankster sense went off.

"Quick, get back in your chair so we can get Sam next!"

Dean grinned and got back into his chair. He would wait for his pie before they got Sam though. Tonks turned back into Harry and waited for Sam to put down the food...then she turned into him and said "BOO!"

Sam tripped over his chair, scrambling for his gun that had silver bullets. Dean was laughing from where he was at, seeing as how they had gotten him not ten minutes earlier.

"Dean, what the hell?"

"Meet my cousin from my dad's side," snickered Harry.

"Hi!" said Tonks, her hair shifting to bubblegum pink.

"What the hell is going on here?" asked Sam. He nearly had a heart attack.

"I figured a prank would be in order, so I got Tonks to come help since I knew your history with shapeshifters," said Harry with a shit-eating grin.

"He's not the only one who helped with this," snickered Tonks.

"Who else?"

"Fred, George, come on out!"

Both Winchesters were floored when a pair of identical twins came out of nowhere with cameras in their hands.

"Dude, what the hell?!" said Dean.

"Dean, Sam, meet Fred and George Weasly, also known as Marauders two point oh," snickered Harry.

"What is going on?" asked Dean.

"Long story short, the so called 'Leader of the light' side went evil and tried to kill the twins at their shop. They came to me so I figured while they're in America a prank war wouldn't be amiss. The first people I thought of were you two," said Harry.

"What sort of shop you two run anyway?" asked Dean.

"Prank store," said Fred.

"Harry gave us the start up capital," said George.

"He's as close to our younger brother as you can get, and we have a big family," they said in unison.

"That...is beyond creepy," said Dean.

"Headache inducing too," said Harry. Tonks nodded in agreement.

"So, you brought your friends over for a prank war? Why?"

"They needed cheering up. Besides, I figured you two could met the one shapeshifter who wasn't out to screw you over," said Harry.

"We can't drag rookies with us on hunts," said Dean.

"One, the twins aren't rookies. They aren't going to be on any hunts, but helping me with research. Two, Tonks here is a fully trained Auror, which is somewhat like the magical equivalent to a hunter, one who was recently abducted from a nasty war. And three, what made you think I was going to leave them in your care to begin with?" said Harry.

"Then why are you here?" asked Sam.

"Like I said before, to prank you two knuckleheads. How could I resist using Tonks to freak you out...and with evidence of the prank?"

"What...?" said Dean. The twins grinned evilly and held up their cameras.

"Ciao!" said Harry laughing as they vanished.

"I am going to strangle him," said Dean.

"Why?"

"Magicals have moving cameras, remember?" said Dean annoyed.

It took Sam a moment to figure out what Dean meant.

"He didn't," said Sam.

"He pranked us both into freaking out for no reason. What are the odds he wouldn't?" said Dean.

* * *

Loki howled with laughter at the reaction the Winchesters had to Tonks. She took a bow when he looked at her.

"Hey Harry, what is this?" asked Fred.

"What?"

"This!" said George.

"What are you... oh, the Hunter's Kill Count. It was late and I was bored," shrugged Harry.

Harry had, in a fit of boredom, compiled a list of kills for each hunter connected to the site. He had even added a ranking for each one.

Needless to say it had quickly become popular to the hunters, even if it was a bit of an ongoing joke.

"You actually made a kill count for each hunter?" said Loki, finally interested.

"Like I said, it was late, I was bored and couldn't sleep," said Harry.

"No way, you included all three Winchesters?" said Loki.

"And their mother, their grandparents...they didn't even know how good their grandparents were," said Harry.

Hell, Dean had no idea his mother had been a hunter until Cas dropped his ass in the past.

"What's with the different colors in their names?"

"Black is deceased and their last hunt. Red means active. Gray means retired. And blue means still active, but incapacitated."

"And that means?" asked George.

"It means the last hunt or something got to them, and are off the active rosters until I get word that it changes," said Harry.

"Looks like someone's interested in the kill count," said Loki.

"Wow...looks like someone is pissed at you," said Fred.

"Why?"

"According to him you missed a few kills!" cackled George.

"Which means we need a drink. Either of you interested?" asked Harry.

The moment Harry went into the bar, he was swarmed by somewhat annoyed Hunters. Apparently he didn't have _all_ the kills on the count.

"Fellas, this was just a rough draft I made as a joke. Help me make a real one and I'll have a better look at your resume!" said Harry placating.

It wasn't long before he had a better idea of their kill count.

A month later the revised kill count was placed, along with the note that this one was for real. Apparently hunters liked to brag to others.


	10. Chapter 10

"So the idjits found a stranded Angel?" said Loki.

"Have you been hanging around Bobby again?" asked Harry suspiciously.

"Please, the last time I 'hung out' with Bobby he was trying to stake me with goats blood. I picked it up from _you_," said Loki smugly.

"Yeah, apparently this girl Anna can hear their chatter like I can, only she has no idea why or what it is," said Harry.

"Sounds like angel who dropped to me," said Loki.

"If she's not a dick with wings, as Dean would put it, would you like me to bring her over?" asked Harry.

"Sure! She can help me train you how to speak Enoch," said Loki sarcastically.

Loki, in a fit of boredom (or so he claimed) was teaching Harry had to speak the language of the angels alongside how to write their sigils.

"So, is that a no?"

"Find her and get her on the phone. If she's worth saving then I'll protect her," said Loki.

"Deal. Be right back," said Harry.

* * *

"Hi guys! How's it hanging?" asked Harry as he strolled into Bobby's.

"Was wondering when you would show up Monkey!" said Dean.

"Two questions. One, why the hell is a demon here trying to save an angel and two, why are you trusting Lilith's bitch of all people?" asked Harry.

"She's an angel?" said Dean.

"Yup."

"Why can't she remember?" asked Sam.

"Self-delusion is a wonderful thing. Well that and the fact she fell on her own free will might help. Now, we have three options, cause let's face it, the angels and demons are both gunning for your ass," said Harry a little too cheerfully.

"What are they?" asked Anna.

"Option one: you get captured by demons and likely tortured for all eternity. Not fun at all, from the nightmares Dean still has."

"Option two: the angels nab you and kill you to keep you from going back to Heaven. Considering most are just dicks with wings, as Dean puts it, that's not a good choice either."

"And what's option three?" asked Dean.

"Option three: she talks to my brother Loki and he puts her under his protection. Believe it or not, Loki is one of the few people who can tell Uriel to stuff his sword up his feathered ass and not get killed for it."

Seeing their incredulous looks, Harry shrugged.

"Loki outranks most angels, even Anna. He'd probably get a real laugh out of pissing them off, even indirectly."

Which was true. The main reason he was teaching Harry how to use Enoch sigils was because A, it would royally piss off any angels who came after him, and B, he was preparing him for something big.

Specifically he was preparing Harry for after he killed Lilith. Hell wasn't a nice place, and Loki didn't want his baby brother tortured into insanity. So he was telling Harry the tricks of the angels so his brother could survive until he ascended out of there.

Harry handed Anna his cell phone, and she timidly called the first number on Harry's speed dial. She was in the panic room, and everyone else was waiting to hear the verdict.

Anna finally handed back the phone.

"Your brother said that you can find him at the point where the grace fell, he wants to talk to you alone," said Anna.

"I'll be back. Loki gave me a way to find him no matter where he's hiding a month ago," said Harry.

* * *

"So what's the deal bro?" asked Harry.

"Saving Anna will put us both on angel and demon radar. You really ready for that? We won't be able to hide from my brothers as easily as before," said Loki.

"So we'll be like any other hunter with people after their ass."

"Yeah, but I really don't want Micheal to find out where I've been this whole time," said Gabriel unhappily.

"I'll look up on how to make Hex Bags. So what's the verdict on Anna?"

"If we take her in, I want to have a bit of fun with that ass Uriel. Castiel seems to be the only decent one in contact with the idjit brothers," said Gabriel.

"Oh, I've got the _perfect_ way to piss off Uriel. We say a simple sentence in Enoch to his face and then don't tell him how the idjits know how to speak it!" cackled Harry.

"What would you recommend we say?" asked Gabriel. He had to admit, it did sound amusing. The look on Uriel and Castiel's face alone would be worth translating a simple sentence for Harry.

"How about... '_Why don't you jump in the pit and have tea with your big brother Lucifer you sanctimonious prick_?'"

"Classy!" cackled Gabriel. In fact it appealed to Gabriel so much that he gave Harry the exact translation for Dean to use. Seeing the look on Uriel's face would totally be worth it!

* * *

"He'll take Anna in if I what?" said Dean.

"He'll hide Anna, but he wants to play a joke on that ass Uriel first. See, Loki speaks Enoch, and this is too good a chance to pass up on."

"What does he want me to say?"

Harry repeated it, and the look on Anna's face was priceless.

"In English please!" said Dean.

"He said 'Go jump into the pit and have tea with your older brother Lucifer you sanctimonious prick'," answered Anna with an odd look on her face.

Dean didn't look offended, instead he looked giddy.

"Any chance I can memorize that phrase to use on any angels again?" he asked far too eagerly for his survival rate to stay as good was it was.

"Chances are Loki won't care if you memorize it, so long as you remember to take pictures of the look on their faces after," cackled Harry with glee. It looked like Dean would do it after all.

"You want us to insult angels to their face? In their own language?" said Sam.

"Hell yes! Can you _imagine_ the look on their faces when they realize what you're saying?" said Harry eagerly.

"Come on Sammy, it would totally be worth it!" said Dean.

"What about the grace?" asked Anna.

"Thank you for reminding me! Loki said this was yours, but not to break it until after Dean gets that picture. He left a nice little surprise for Uriel in that tree," said Harry, handing over an odd necklace that could double as a glow light.

"So what the hell did the dick with wings have?" asked Dean.

"His wings will turn rainbow-colored for a month once you break his necklace. It's set to change his color once he picked up Anna's so called grace," sniggered Harry.

"But the only spells that can affect an angel's wings are those from an angel of a higher class!" said Anna in shock.

"Yeah, see Loki happens to know Gabriel really well. Gabriel is the one I'm taking you to," said Harry.

"Gabriel?" said Dean.

"The angel I deal with? It's Gabriel. He ditched heaven a long time ago because he didn't want to deal with Micheal and Lucifer's hissy fit any more. They've been looking for him for centuries now," said Harry.

Harry didn't want to spoil Loki's fun when the Winchester brothers learned who he really was.

Anna actually seemed relieved that Gabriel was the one he was taking her too. If anyone could hide her, it was him...unless Micheal showed up.

"So, we have an accord?" asked Harry.

"Hell yes! Teach me that phrase so I can piss off angels!" cackled Dean.

* * *

Uriel, Castiel and at least four demons were in that barn (one of the demons was Alistair, who had been in charge of torturing Dean) while Harry waited above on his broom. He was thoroughly hidden under his cloak, and had cast a disillusionment charm on his broom. A simple silencing charm took care of his breathing, and combined with his hex bag (he found the recipe off another hunter's site) and sigil on his ribs...well, the only way Uriel would notice he was there would be if he went up and told him.

Not a chance, considering the angel would likely kill him on principle for teaching Dean how to cuss him out in Enoch.

Harry watched with amusement, right up until Uriel was about to kill Anna. Boy had he looked pissed when Dean repeated exactly what Harry had told him. Castiel just looked surprised that Dean could even pronounce it right, though that probably had more to do with the fact that Dean had been aiming it at Uriel and not him.

He tossed a rock at Anna, and she took the hint.

If something hit her before her grace was set free again, she would activate the port key that the twins had added to the chain. She spoke only one word, but it was enough to make Uriel pause from grabbing her.

"Gabriel."

She was gone, and Uriel was looking more pissed than usual.

"Where is she?!" he demanded of Dean, who had a bloody nose and broken arm.

"Gone, far from either demon or angel's control. See we have someone who knows where Gabriel is, and once he knew about Anna, well he couldn't help fast enough," said Dean.

Uriel looked ready to kill Dean, if only to find out where Gabriel was.

Instead he was thrown out of that barn by the angel sigil Harry had painted.

"You lot alright?" asked Harry.

"Yeah. You know Uriel is going to try and get the information from me now right?" said Dean.

"Not going to happen. See there happens to be a charm that will keep the information from even angels. And I'm about to cast it on both of you," said Harry.

"What does it do?" asked Sam.

"Both of you know my nickname and my real name. So what I'm going to do is hide the knowledge that Harry Potter is Monkey Magic, but while you'll remember you won't be able to tell anyway. The magic will make it as though you can't speak," said Harry.

"It doesn't hurt does it?" asked Sam.

"Not from what I've heard. Only the secret keeper can give the information out freely, but otherwise it's like a void in your mind," said Harry.

"So who's the secret keeper in this case?"

"Loki, who else?" snorted Harry.

* * *

Harry returned to find...Anna glomping Loki?

"Dude, are you a pure blood or something?" asked Harry.

"Ha ha, get her off already will ya?" said Loki sarcastically.

It took Harry two triple-chocolate cakes decked in enough sugar confection to give a normal person a diabetic coma before Loki's mood restored. Anna still hadn't stopped hugging him.

"So Anna, why are you so..." started Harry.

"Sorry...it's just nice to finally find another angel who isn't a total nut job," said Anna with a sniff.

Harry looked at Loki and fell to the floor laughing his ass off.

"Gabriel...not...nuts! Oh god, that is too rich!" cackled Harry, trying hard to breathe.

"Laugh it up runt!" growled Gabriel. If he had known what a headache this was going to be he wouldn't have said that he would help Anna.

"Sorry, but if someone said something like that about me you would be right her laughing your ass off too!" snorted Harry.

"Just because I'm not a total asshole like Uriel or Zachariah doesn't mean I'm not an angel dammit!" said Gabriel.

"What about Castiel?" asked Harry with a grin.

"He's okay, but he's a bit boring," said Gabriel easily.

"Considering he was willing to shake Sam's hand even though he had been drinking demon's blood, yeah, I'd say he's a nice guy," said Harry.

"Wait, he was willing to shake _Sam_'s hand? When did this happen?"

"First time Sam finally met an angel, before the seal of Samhain was broken," said Harry.

"Huh...guess I won't kick him out on principle. So how did old Uriel react to Dean telling him to go to hell in Enoch?" asked Loki eagerly.

Harry grinned evilly and brought out his camera.

"Oh god! That is priceless! Huh, didn't know angel wings showed up on tape," said Loki cackling.

"You! You were the one who told Harry how to say that sentence!" said Anna, pointing an accusing finger at him.

"Well yeah, who else was going to teach him how to speak in angel?" said Loki smugly. That had at least gotten her off him.

"Why are you teaching a human our language and how to make sigils?" she asked. She was almost appalled, but technically she was still human at the moment.

"Take a good long look at him Anna. What do you see aside from his wizard heritage?" asked Loki.

"He's..." said Anna in shock. Harry's magic eclipsed something very obvious to most angels...and quite a few demons too.

"All he knows is that he isn't fully human, but his heritage allows him to use angel sigils as well as us," said Loki.

"Gabriel, quit beating around the bush already. I'm a cambion aren't I?" said Harry bluntly. Loki winced.

"Yeah... your mom must have had angel blood in her, though how that's possible I have no idea. Either way you're half angel at least."

"Too bad I can't travel into the past to meet her. Might have been the only way to get any answers at all," said Harry disappointed.

Gabriel (and this was Gabriel not his Loki persona) looked pensive about the idea of time travel.

"Hmm...ask me again when I'm bored, drunk and buttered up with plenty of sugary substances," he said after considering the idea.

"What?" said Harry.

"Harry...angels can time travel. Takes a lot of energy for them to do it, enough that if someone like Castiel did it he would be out cold for at least a week, but we can do it. Though that's only if we go there physically. Sending humans takes much less energy," said Anna slowly.

"Seriously?" said Harry.

"Yeah. It's easy enough, plus I'm already familiar with the area thanks to you. And you land with everything you have on you. If you don't believe me ask Dean about the trip he took thanks to Castiel," said Gabriel.

And with that, Harry went to making enough sweets to last them a while, since he now had to play peace-keeper with two rogue angels.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Okay, before I go any further, I know that half-angels are called Nephilim and not cambions. However I would like to direct you attention another Supernatural/HP story called **_**Illusions of Grandeur,****_ specifically that of chapter 8 when Castiel describes what Harry is. I am not the only one to use the word Cambion to describe half-breeds. Though I would totally recommend the story._**

* * *

Harry was sound asleep, and thus didn't hear Anna arguing with Gabriel over telling him the truth.

"Why did you tell him he would end Lilith?" she demanded.

"The kid has had enough crap piled on his plate. I'm the only one who's ever given him the fact straight up before he was thrown into the deep end," said Gabriel.

That was one of the reason Harry's trusted him completely...Gabriel didn't lie, nor did he sugar coat bullshit. He told him what he needed to know, even if he knew Harry would hate it afterwords.

Anna was torn between calling him an idiot and the fact he was Gabriel, an arch angel who outranked her so badly it wasn't even funny, didn't make it easier or backing off.

"Why him? Why would one human matter out of billions?"

"You know that old prophecy, the one that the prophet Nostradamus made about an innocent soul being cast down into hell and bringing back something that the first fallen had lost?"

"You think it's him?" said Anna.

"He already has a prophecy on him. Now as far as I can tell, the fates have been resetting the world repeatedly because that prophecy was never fulfilled. Harry has been sent after Riddle again and again, yet for some reason every time he kills the man, his spirit has never touched Hell, and believe me I've checked most of the time. Both of us know that heaven would never accept a soul as dirty as Riddle's, no matter how repentant he was."

"Tearing a soul would destroy any chance of heaven," nodded Anna.

"So I think the prophecy means Harry has to _literally_ drag Riddle into hell himself, thus completing part of that prophecy."

"An innocent saving the soul of the condemned, dragging the soul of the damned with him," Anna repeated.

"The condemned might be the Winchester brothers. Which would make the damned Riddle."

"And the innocent is Harry, who has angel blood even though he wasn't supposed to originally."

"It would make sense I suppose."

"Originally you stole back your grace from Uriel and broke the bottle," Gabriel added quietly.

"What about you?"

"I died distracting Lucifer from the Winchesters. You can see why I'm not so eager to repeat that particular experience more than once," said Gabriel.

Anna agreed, though she still wondered why Gabriel was teaching Harry things only an angel should actually know while he was still a mortal.

* * *

Loki snickered when he realized what Harry was trying to do. Harry wanted to meet his parents, and like Loki said, he wouldn't do it unless he was 'buttered up and drunk'.

Finally after a week of Harry trying to get on his good side, Loki gave up trying not to laugh.

"Alright, alright! I'll send you to their sixth year. But, in exchange you have to lend me your wand for a few days first."

"Why?"

"It's a surprise," said Gabriel grinning.

Harry shrugged but handed over his wand. Since he couldn't use magic without it, he went to updating the HKC, or the 'Hunter Kill Count' and answered requests from his clients.

Gabriel waited until Harry was totally engrossed with his main job, which was that of a research monkey, before he looked at Anna.

"What are you planning?"

"Exchanging his phoenix feather core for one of my feathers, and that of his familiar," said Gabriel.

"But that..."

"Would give anyone who knew a direct way to control me, I'm aware. It will also give Harry the focal point so that when he ascends to partial angel status he'll come directly to me instead of the Winchester brothers."

"Which means you'll have the perfect chance to help him before he even has time to get into trouble," said Anna. Gabriel nodded before he took the wand into a different house. He had to work quickly before the wand feather tried to attach to him.

* * *

He carefully split the wand in half with the care of a surgeon. Anna watched dispassionately as he went to work.

Gabriel removed the offending feather, which had been worn down to half. Unknown to most wizards, the core does take damage for each spell. Eventually the core disappears, by which time the wood had become magical in it's own right.

Anna was amazed at how big Gabriel's wings were, as he carefully selected a white feather to place where the phoenix feather had lain. Hedwig offered one of her primary feathers needed for flight, as well as some clear liquid to bind the two together. Gabriel added his own contribution to the volatile mix, adding some of his own grace to the feather. Once he was done, he carefully placed the feather's stiff part into the wand. To his surprise, the wand wood snapped around it perfectly without any assistance from him.

He checked it carefully for any cracks or hints of what he had done to it, but found nothing. The wizard magic hid his grace from any spells set to locate it.

Gabriel handed over the wand to Harry without even telling him why he had needed it to begin with. As far as Harry knew, Gabriel had put something on it to insure that he would land next to Gabriel when he came back.

"So runt, you ready for a trip to the past?" asked Gabriel far too eagerly.

"I'm leaving my cell with you, so if anyone calls give them the info they need," said Harry.

His cell and wireless business was such a hit with hunters that he had made it into his own little company.

The Monkey Magic corporation had grown to the point that it now rivaled some of the bigger companies like AT&T and Tracfone. They kept trying to buy him out, but he wasn't selling. And the people running it were actually a few hunters who had retired and the occasional muggleborn. He was currently the leading name in muggleborn employment, with more flocking to him every day.

Fortunately Loki had no problem pretending to be his 'guardian' so that Harry didn't have to deal with it directly. Plus it meant screwing people over on a larger scale, and Loki could always get behind that!

* * *

Loki tapped Harry on the forehead, after he secured his primary laptop. The secondary one was the one Loki used more, though it had all the same information so he could act as 'Monkey'. Harry grinned and vanished without a trace, landing in the past.

"This is going to be fun!" said Harry.

It took all of ten minutes before he was spotted, and by McGonagall no less. She hauled him out of Hogsmeade by the collar, ranting the entire way back to the castle.

"Such cheek! Detention for a week Mr. Potter!"

"Why should I get detention when my port key landed wrong?" complained Harry. He was half tempted to speak in Latin just to annoy her further.

They were halfway up to the castle when he finally spoke.

"You're not James Potter are you?" she accused.

"Kinda hard to get a word in edgewise. Should have known the English Ministry would forget to send along my paperwork," said Harry flatly.

"Who are you?"

"Gabriel Winchester. I transferred from private tutors in America, but apparently the damn Ministry didn't get off their ass long enough to give you a heads up! And the port key was supposed to drop me off in the Headmaster's office, but they can't even do that right either!" said Harry, thankful that traveling around the Winchesters for a few months had taught him to speak like a Yank instead of a Brit.

"Well Mr. Winchester, we'll need to speak to the Headmaster about this. What year are you?"

"Sixth. I passed most of my OWLs before I came, except Divination which was the worst class I had," said Harry.

"Welcome to Hogwarts Mr. Winchester. I'm sorry to say that your paperwork was misfiled for some reason," said Dumbledore.

"Yeah, didn't expect much of you Brits," said Harry.

McGonagall bristled a little.

"Not saying all of you are clutterbrained, just those in the Ministry," said Harry quickly.

"Well, as it appears that since we need to wait for your paperwork to show up, I suppose you can attend class. Do you need supplies?"

"Yeah, had to leave most of my things back in America."

"What's in your satchel then?" asked McGonagall.

"All my personal items. I leave everything important inside here, after a bad experience when I was twelve with nosy fan girls," said Harry. Which was entirely true, considering how bad Ginny was around him.

"I'll have Hagrid take you to Diagon later," said Dumbledore.

Harry came back with a small grin on his face. It had only taken three hours, but he had more than enough cash to work with. Luckily it had taken little convincing for Hagrid to head to the Hunter's Coven. The bartender of that particular bar happened to be a squib who was a hunter on the side. It was the same one Harry first went to, in order to meet real hunters.

It was when he came back that he had some fun. Because the first thing that happened was that he ran into Remus Lupin.

* * *

"Hey James. Why do you reek of chocolate?" asked Remus.

"Name's not James. Gabriel Winchester at your service," said Harry with a smile.

Remus finally looked up from his book.

"I am so sorry about that! Are you the mystery student who had McGonagall all upset?"

"My papers were misfiled apparently, and the Headmaster must have forgotten that I was transferring to an actual school," said Harry easily. Living with Loki had broken him of his nervous habit when lying.

"Hey Remus, you seen... James, there you are!" said a much younger Sirius Black.

"Gabriel Winchester, at your service," said Harry easily.

"Sirius! Heard you were... Who is this?" said a winded James Potter.

Harry was officially loving this. He got to screw with his parents and their best friends and they wouldn't even know who he was!

* * *

Harry snuck into the Ministry and put the 'missing' paperwork where some Ministry drone would see it in the morning. The best part was that every single one of the teachers he listed was in fact a hunter who had been labeled KIA over a year ago.

It was a side benefit of making a Hunter Kill Count and having it date back all the way to the 50's. Well that and having a laptop that ran on magic and had a file of what a school transfer form looked like. With how out of date the magical Europe was, it was unlikely they would detect a forgery.

'Ah, the benefits of an angry muggleborn populace. Time to go to that Goblin Poker Tournament...' thought Harry with glee.

It happened once a year, and it had a thousand galleon buy-in. Stakes were high enough that you could buy a noble house title if you played your hand right. And with the time-turner he just stole, well, it was unlikely anyone would know he had been there. Harry cackled on his way to Gringotts.

* * *

"Ugh...my head!" said Harry the next morning.

"Someone drink too much last night?" smirked James. He recognized the signs from experience.

"I thought butterbeer was non-alcoholic!" complained Harry.

"It is...but I smell fire whiskey on your breath," said Sirius.

"Dammit, I knew that stupid idjit got the order wrong! Either that or he was trying to make me fall for Patrick's damn tricks...how the hell did that bastard end up in there anyway?" bitched Harry.

"Who's Patrick?" asked James.

"And where on earth did you get fire whiskey this early in the year?" asked Sirius eagerly.

"Mr. Winchester, a word please!" piped Flitwick.

"Sorry boys," said Harry, wincing.

Harry followed Flitwick to his office, where he drank the hangover potion with relief.

"I don't know how you knew about the yearly goblin poker tournament or how you got those papers into the Ministry. What I want to know is who are you really?" asked Flitwick seriously.

"I'll answer if you give me one... How the hell did Patrick end up in the tournament?"

"You know Patrick?"

"I know he gambles for years instead of cash," said Harry.

Harry not only bet against him, but he won, and won big. Since all those years had to go somewhere, Harry asked if he could have them in reserve...so Patrick let him keep the chips he won off the man, which would activate upon contact with alcohol.

Harry planned to cash in favors later.

"Patrick always makes it to the tournament...it's just few are stupid enough to fall for it except for the odd pure blood. Now who are you?" asked Flitwick flatly.

"Harry James Potter, born within the next two decades, son of James and Lily Potter. I bugged a certain trickster to send me back in time so we could answer a question that had been bugging the hell out of us," said Harry bluntly.

"A trickster? Young man do you have any idea how dangerous that is?" demanded Flitwick.

"Can't be any more dangerous than when I get the last piece of chocolate cake before Loki does," shrugged Harry, "Hell, the only reason Loki puts up with me is because I make better sweets than most bakeries!"

Flitwick pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Right...how long are you staying here?"

"Until either his spell wears off and he picks me up, or an angel/demon finds out I'm here, in which case I am so gone!" said Harry.

"What sort of wizard deals with demons unless they are evil?" asked Flitwick.

"I don't deal with demons. I deal with angels. Specifically an annoying Arch Angel."

"Gabriel...you deal with Gabriel," said Flitwick. He wasn't the head of the smart ones for nothing.

"Bingo... can I go now?"

"Try not to bring the castle down, please?" Flitwick half-begged.

"I plan to prank the hell out of the Marauders and do Loki proud. How hard can that be?" asked Harry.

He snickered when he heard the half-goblin moaning that he desperately needed a drink.


	12. Chapter 12

Harry had been in the past for a month, and he had learned three things.

One, Lily wasn't the source of his angelic heritage. She didn't even react to any of the sigils he left lying around, which was the major tip off.

Two, James Potter apparently had an ace up his sleeve because he had been able to match wits with Harry for two weeks during their initial prank war...while Sirius and Remus were left in the dust. Considering Harry lived with a Trickster who could prank people with a snap of his fingers, this was actually very surprising.

And three, Dumbledore and the rest of the staff had figured out that he was a time traveler, one who was obviously related to James Potter, most likely his son. They were more inclined to treat him like another lion, especially when he mentioned he had dropped out of Hogwarts in favor of private tutoring after his fifth year.

He would be taking his NEWTs with the rest of seventh year, since he obviously hadn't bothered to do so in his own time.

Since his initial lead on Lily had been wrong, Harry now focused on pranking the hell out of his dad and uncles. That is until one minor incident when he was bored and used a random point me charm to lead him further into the castle.

* * *

"What the hell? Why do I keep following my dad around?"

This was the fifth time he had cast the charm, which was supposed to lead him North if left undirected. Only for some reason it lead him straight to James Potter, despite the fact that Harry knew he was in the south-east side of the castle.

So, in a fit of annoyance, Harry cast the spell Gabriel had taught him to find him when he wanted to visit after being around the Winchesters too long.

It would show him the area around Loki through his eyes, which would let Harry apparate to him directly. Because of what Gabriel did to his wand, it would more powerful, possibly enough for Loki to know something was up, but he didn't know.

_'What the hell? Who's in my head?'_

Harry blinked. And then his jaw dropped when James Potter suddenly turned mid sentence to find who cast the spell. As he was currently flying in the corridors so he could hit the Marauders from above after he grew irritated enough to bring out his broom, he realized something.

Lily had never been the source of his angel blood...James was.

And when Harry caught a flash of all too familiar silver in James' eyes, he realized something else.

_'Son of a bitch...Gabriel is my dad! Why didn't he say anything?!'_ thought Harry furiously. Suddenly a lot of things made so much since...why Loki and him got along so well, how they had clicked when they first met, why Harry had been able to master his little trick with the snapping fingers...or had been able to find Gabriel no matter how hard he had hidden himself.

Oh he was so going to blackmail Gabriel with this when he got back.

"James, you alright pal?"

"Fine. Just thought someone's time release spell went off," said James easily.

"Probably Gabriel. He's surprisingly good!" said Sirius.

Harry saw the look in James' eyes when that name was mentioned. Like he knew that Gabriel Winchester wasn't his real name.

Oh this was going to be hilarious when he pinned the winged moron with holy oil later.

* * *

"Hey Gabe! What did you want to see me for?" asked James.

Harry grinned and cast a silent fire spell to set the holy oil on fire.

"What the hell?!" yelped James, jumping back from the flames.

"Come on Prongs, let's see you jump the fire!" said Harry.

"Not funny! Can you put it out already?" said James nervously.

"I'm half tempted to make you stew a little bit...Gabriel."

James suddenly flinched.

"I knew it! I was wondering why that point me spell kept sending me to you!"

"Whatever! Can you douse the flames already?" complained Gabriel.

Harry snapped his fingers, and there was a minor rainstorm above Gabriel. It doused the flames within minutes.

"How did you... Who the hell are you?"

"Harry James Potter, at your service! You sent me into the past, but I really wasn't expecting to run into you here of all places," said Harry.

"Teach you a lesson?" said Gabriel, assuming that was why he did it.

"Nah, we were just curious where my angel heritage came from, and we happen to be roommates. Though finding out you masqueraded as James Potter does answer a hell of a lot. I always thought half-angels were called Nephilim until you told me otherwise."

"Roommates?" said Gabriel in disbelief.

"I summoned you in Sirius' house with a pair of Marauders named Fred and George Weasly using one of Fawkes' tail feathers and a few pieces of unicorn tail. Then I summoned you here to deal with a Ministry drone who was hurting the firsties with a blood quill. Plus it helped that I already knew your weakness to sugar," said Harry grinning.

"Wait, so that spell that I felt hit me..."

"Was one you taught me so I could find out where you were and apparate. Wasn't expecting you to feel it though... You once mentioned that it just tickled," said Harry shrugging.

"So what now?" asked James, slipping back into his human persona.

"Well I can either go back to the future...or I can stick around and help you drive McGonagall to drink. And I know more languages than most people here. Want to see how McGonagall reacts to me speaking only in Latin for three days?" grinned Harry.

James/Gabriel grinned. If this was how his kid turned out (and boy wasn't that a surprise) then he was definitely going to make the best of it!

* * *

By Monday, Harry set his 'plan' into action. Now that he had solved why he was an angel cambion, he was going to have fun!

Lily sat next to him, finding him a less annoying version of James Potter.

"So Gabriel, have you finished McGonagall's essay on human transfiguration, or have you left it to last again?" she asked.

"_Left it to last,"_ said Harry in Latin with perfect ease.

Lily blinked, then realized she didn't understand a single word of that.

"Could you repeat that?"

"_I left it for last. Not like I actually need to know that crap anyway,"_ said Harry cheerfully.

"JAMES POTTER! What did you do to Gabriel?!" shrieked Lily.

"I didn't do a thing to the runt! None of us have since he pinned Sirius to the ceiling this morning with ropes in uncomfortable places!" said James, Sirius nodded furiously behind him in annoyance. She didn't notice the glint in James' eyes over the trick.

"Then why is he speaking in nothing but gibberish?" she demanded.

"That's not gibberish Lily," said Remus calmly.

"Then why can't I understand him?"

"Do you speak Latin?" asked Remus calmly. He had recognized it only because it sounded similar to what they said to cast spells.

"What?"

"Gabriel's speaking Latin, if I'm right. Am I?" asked Remus to Gabriel who gave him a thumbs up.

That was when Harry had the best idea. Instead of speaking Latin all the time, he would speak a random language just to throw people off. That would be a fun game to play.

"Do you speak Latin Gabriel?" asked Lily.

"Sí," he said easily.

"That was Spanish wasn't it?" asked Sirius, recognizing it barely.

Gabriel grinned at him.

"Hai," said Gabriel.

"Gabriel...exactly how many do you speak?" asked Lily.

Harry shrugged, as he had lost count after the tenth one. He took out his wand and wrote _**"I happen to be a bit of a linguist. To be honest I lost count and learning the language happens to be almost as much fun as the looks on people's faces when they realize they have no idea what you just said."**_

"Which ones can you speak?" asked James, mildly curious.

"I speak Russian, German, Bulgarian, French, Spanish, Latin, Japanese, Snake, Owl, Enoch, Norse, and Arabic... I've learned so many that I've really lost count, but those are off the top of my head."

"What's Enoch?" asked Sirius.

"I have no idea," said James, lying through his teeth. To be honest he was surprised Harry even knew what that was.

"The Ancient Runes tutor I had loved me because I could speak the words without mangling the translation," said Harry with a grin.

Babbling had _loved_ having Harry around to translate for him.

"So did you get that paper done?"

"Why bother? It's not like I use human transfiguration for the jobs I do," said Harry flatly. He saw the homework as a greater evil than Lucifer. Once he got over his fear of Dementors, paperwork quickly became his greatest bane.

"What jobs?" asked Lily.

"I'm a research monkey. Hunters pay me for information on how to kill things...though half the time I'm diverting them away from witches, wizards and werewolves who actively avoid hurting others," said Harry sourly.

Boy had that been a nasty surprise for Remus, learning Harry knew very well how to kill a werewolf and was in contact with professional hunters. Remus had never actually come into contact with one, but he had heard stories from the other werewolf packs.

"Hunters? Seriously?" said Sirius in shock.

"Hunters are okay, just a bit paranoid considering what they usually deal with. They love me because I give them accurate and down to earth information on things they hunt, and even send them after things they didn't know were active. They even gave me a nickname!" said Harry grinning.

"Oh? Considering you've been pranking us pretty good since you showed up, we might as well add you to the Marauders," said Sirius grinning.

Harry smirked...and wondered how Sirius would take the news that his godson had pranked him twice over. It didn't hurt that Harry had covered up his lightning scar with a bit of make-up after the third time he had gotten mobbed by magicals.

"Hey, have you ever heard that song 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia'?" asked Harry.

"I have," said Lily. She liked country music, mostly because it often drove Petunia nuts.

"Did you know that was written by a hunter based on an actual hunt? Turned out that the guy had lost the first time, and when time came to pay up, he convinced it to another contest with a hunter nearby and they killed it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, apparently the guy had been stupid enough to make a deal with a crossroads demon, and it was pure luck that a hunter who specialized in killing them happened to be nearby...well either that he was there at the tail end of a bunch of deals and killed the thing just in time to save the idiot," said Harry thoughtfully. It had happened before.

"Demons are real?" said Lily.

"So are angels, but a couple of hunter friends of mine described the majority of angels as 'dicks with wings', to be blunt. Apparently they all act like British pure bloods, only without the whole incest stick."

Gabriel inwardly winced...because that was actually a semi-accurate description of his brothers.

"What's incest?" asked Sirius, not familiar with the term.

"You know that whole 'marrying your cousin' thing that you Brits have going to keep the line 'pure'? That's called incest. It basically means you sleep with a blood relative instead of someone who isn't related to you. Did you know doing that causes defects to the children?" said Harry.

"Really?" said Sirius.

"Yeah. People aren't meant to breed with others of close relation. I'm pretty sure that's why squib births are on the rise, with how closely related most pure bloods are. Eventually they'll have children who are mentally deficient or sterile, and the whole lot of you will die out," said Harry.

The collective pure bloods, who had been listening since Harry mentioned how many languages he could speak, winced.

Harry had been writing while he talked, not that anyone noticed. They barely made it to the class, where McGonagall shot him a look for such a bland essay.

"Mr. Winchester, why is your handwriting all over the paper?" she asked.

"I was distracting Lily while I wrote it, and I never dropped eye contact with those I talked to," said Harry far too cheerfully. James shot him a thumbs up for the trick.

"Five points from Gryffindor for leaving it to the literal last minute."

Harry just grinned at her.

* * *

"Ah Hogsmeade!" said James. He was going to go nuts in Honeydukes and nothing would stop him.

"I swear you're a bigger chocolate nut than Remus," said Sirius.

"Silence knave! The frogs call to me!" said James cheerfully.

"Hello James! I'm afraid we've run out of chocolate today," said the owner of Honeydukes.

"NOOOOO! Who could have possibly bought out all the chocolate in the time it took to reach here?" said James looking like someone had shot his pet owl.

"Funny thing you should ask that...a bloke came in here looking just like you. You haven't been missing with time turners again have you boys?" asked the owner in reply, giving them a shrewd look.

"Time... I am going to get Winchester if it's the last thing I do!" said James, bolting out of the store in search of Harry. He needed his chocolate fix dammit, and the elves have been told by McGonagall to monitor his sugar intake after the whole bunny outfit incident. Blaming Sirius hadn't worked when they learned he was 'hopped' up on sugar!

James skidded on the way to the Shrieking Shack when he saw Harry. Harry was quite calm and clearly holding his precious chocolate hostage.

"Gimme!"

"Play me at high-stakes poker for it," said Harry in return.

"Deal!"

They had quite a crowd around them while Harry and James bet not galleons, but chocolate coins. Some of the professors had even come to watch James bet the new kid over his chocolate...it was well known James had a chocolate addiction.

"Aces high," said James.

"Royal flush. I win," smirked Harry.

"No! Not my chocolate!" said James mournfully as Harry bit into a dark chocolate frog in front of him. He sniffled pitifully...before Harry handed him some of Honeyduke's best.

"How are you so good at poker?" complained James.

"I beat Patrick and won the last goblin poker tournament. I have to be good in order to get anywhere against those kind of opponents," said Harry.

"That is quite enough. Mr. Potter, would you kindly quit it with the theatrics?" said McGonagall. She gave Harry a cold look.

"I already had the permission slip signed, remember?" said Harry cheekily. Since it was obvious he was James son, Gabriel had signed it for him. The teachers just assumed Harry tricked him into it.

"In any case, you've caused enough of a ruckus today," she said firmly.

"Aw...and I wanted to play against Sirius and Remus next!" said Harry with a cheeky grin.

McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose as Harry put away the table...and hid his chocolate.

He planned to use it to bribe his dad later.


	13. Chapter 13

James approached Harry during dinner late one night with bad news.

"The angels know somethings up. One of them is planning to do a flyover later," he said.

"I know. I heard their chatter at how odd it was that they could feel your grace after all this time. You might want to lay low for a bit...or you could use more power than normal to send me back. That should draw their attention away from both of us," said Harry.

"I think that would be best. I mean it's not like I'm going to die before you get back, right?"

"True...I think all the killing curse did was wipe your memories as James Potter to be honest...or give you partial amnesia."

Gabriel made a face. He really didn't like the idea of that.

"In any case, I suppose I could convince the teachers to give me my NEWTs earlier than expected...not like they won't be cheering to hear I'm leaving!" said Harry with a smirk. James chortled in agreement.

The teachers were so relieved to hear that whatever method he used was wearing thin that they brought in the examiners personally.

All it took was one little week, and Harry was gone...but most certainly not forgotten.

* * *

"Hey runt! Why'd you come back so early?" asked Loki cheerfully.

Harry grinned...this was going to be funny as hell.

"Camera first. I have news that is going to surprise the hell out of you and I want video documentation of your reaction," said Harry.

Loki shrugged...it wasn't the first time they had blackmail on each other. He handed Harry a video camera and waited for his news.

"You know how we were wondering why I had angel heritage? Turns out Lily was a normal human... but James Potter wasn't."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Gabriel, that you are my dad. Found out by accident when I cast the spell to locate you!" said Harry with glee.

Gabriel's face went through a myriad of emotions, primarily shock. Eventually he keeled right over from the news that not only had he been in Hogwarts before, but that he had a kid who was now his roommate/younger brother.

Harry took plenty of photos for Dean and Sam to enjoy, considering that whole 'Mystery Spot' incident, which he sadly had been unable to contribute due to having the flu at the time.

When Gabriel finally came to (courtesy of an ice bucket with water to the face) he looked at Harry.

"That wasn't a joke, was it?"

"Nope. Turns out the killing curse gave you partial amnesia, that or god decided to really screw with your head by giving you a kid as payback for all the crap you've done since you ditched heaven."

"Or it could be a way to teach me a lesson for being the only one to remember all the previous scenarios," said Gabriel. Either way, it explained far more than it didn't.

"That reminds me! I beat Patrick at the yearly goblin poker tournament, so I got seventy-five years that I don't really need."

"You beat Patrick at poker? Perfect!" said Gabriel with a cackle. Patrick had beaten him once, costing him a vessel, but afterwords they got together to play poker for something other than years once the witch realized who he was actually dealing with.

So far Patrick owed him fifty thousand chocolate bars, which was where Gabriel usually got his candy.

"Yup. Figured I could use them for favors."

The only reason he didn't have an even hundred years was because he had bet Patrick the trick to the whole 'give and take' magic he used. Considering Patrick had quickly figured out that Harry was a cambion, thus not really bothered by the loss of years he traded it for twenty-five of what he lost. It was a fair trade, since Harry didn't plan to turn it against him. He thought the guy was funny to be honest.

"That reminds me...you ever figure out what your animagus form was?" asked Gabriel. They had always been close...learning Harry was his son wasn't going to change that.

"Yeah...a horse. Specifically a four-winged one with a horn. I think I'm some sort of demented alicorn to be honest," said Harry.

His wings were gold-colored, and his pelt was a golden color. About the only thing familiar was his eyes, which were an emerald color.

As a demonstration, Harry turned into his animal form. Gabriel snorted.

"You're going to be real popular with the ladies," he said.

"Turns out Lily was an unregistered animagus too. She was a horse, and combined with my cambion heritage, it must have morphed into that," said Harry.

Lily had been an unicorn animagus, but didn't use it much because she stood out far too much. Apparently Harry had inherited her animal form, and his cambion heritage took that chance to add to it, resulting in an alicorn form.

The only reason he knew that was because Loki once forced him to live through all three seasons of the new version of _My Little Pony_ after he withheld the chocolate for a month.

He was just glad that he hadn't been made to go through the original, which really sucked.

"So what do we do now? I mean I wasn't gone that long was I?" asked Harry.

"You were missing for three months. Anna helped me fill the orders from Hunters...oh, and congrats on becoming the most mysterious billionaire of the current century!" said Loki.

"What?" said Harry flatly.

"Funny thing really...while you were gone this minor cell company tried to buy out the business you made, but I stepped in and ended up buying _them_ out. Next thing we know, the business booms like nobodies business and you end up with the largest coverage of any cell phone company and people start switching like mad to yours..." said Loki embarrassed.

As it turned out, Harry's flat low rates and the fact he tended to forgive late payments so long as they were made during that month made his company extremely popular indeed. And Loki had a bit of fun screwing with the executives...so much so that he ended up buying out the same companies who tried to merge with theirs.

Combine that with his magic-friendly devices from Japan, and he had an even larger company than the one his grandfather built years ago. It had taken little work to straighten that misunderstanding out thanks to the goblins stepping in once they found out what the issue was.

The fact no one had ever seen the owner and creator of the Monkey Magic Corporation only made him the most mysterious billionaire currently alive. The goblins had to move all the Potter holdings to new vaults with how much he was making!

"That reminds me! Catch," said Harry, tossing Gabriel a bag of Honeyduke's best. The arch angel actually squealed with glee at the smell.

* * *

A month after Harry came back from the past, answering one of the biggest questions they had, he got word from Dean about his brother having an addiction to demon's blood.

Dean wanted to know how to break that without killing Sam.

Harry went to see the idjit brothers (as he had come to call them) personally.

"What happened?"

"Ruby tricked him into drinking demon's blood. It amplifies his power, but I'm afraid for him," said Dean.

"The only thing I can think of is to force him to break it cold turkey. What was that sound?"

Dean was about to answer when something crashed into the back of his skull. Before Harry could react, he was knocked out too.

"Ugh...where...where am I?" he asked.

He saw Sam, somewhat in a daze. His eyes were pitch black in color. Nearby was Lilith, looking particularly smug.

Harry went in and out of consciousness, but the next thing he knew was that his head injury had healed itself enough to see Lilith in all her glory.

He could see Sam about to kill Lilith without knowing about the seal...he couldn't bear to have that on Sam's conscience.

Harry brought out the knife Gabriel had showed him how to enchant, and dashed forward. He stabbed Lilith in the heart, causing blood to come out.

He could hear the words of Nostradamus speaking about the prophecy in his head as the seal broke under his attack.

_**So it shall be that a pure soul shall descend into Hell to spare the life of a condemned man, dragging the damned down with him. And he shall ascended into courts most high under the power taken back from he who was first to fall...**_

Harry could hear the scream of Voldemort as he dragged the wizard down with him. Voldemort knew who was responsible as he cursed Harry's name out in front of Sirius and the Order of the Phoenix.

"DAMN YOU POTTER!"

Harry fell into Hell with a smile on his face, glad to have that nuisance dealt with as he lost his battle with the head injury, once again making him oblivious to everything around him.

* * *

_He didn't know how long he had been there, or who he was. All he knew was that he could see light, and that it protected him. He could hear the screams of the damned, but he could do nothing for them. Behind him were four golden wings made of pure energy, protecting him from the monsters, the chains and the fires._

_He had done nothing to deserve this place, and he had made no deals. The only thing keeping him bound in this pit of hell was his search for the light._

_He picked up another chain, this one made of fine white gold as thin as a spider's web. On the end was a small vial, no bigger than his thumb. But it was what was inside the vial that had his attention. _

_There was smoke, almost cloud-like in color, that raged against the 'glass' that contained it. It wanted to be free, to work it's wonder once more._

_He placed the chain around his neck, along with the three others he had collected. There were only three more left before his task was complete..._

* * *

"Would someone mind explaining to me why the damn Trickster has been hanging around?" demanded Bobby.

Loki was on the couch eating another chocolate bar with his laptop next to him. He saw the looks Dean and Sam were giving him.

"What?"

"Well not to be blunt, but _why_ are you here?"

"Harry," said Loki as if that explained everything.

"For the last time, we didn't know he would kill Lilith and end up in that circle!" said Dean.

"He was supposed to. There was a prophecy by Nostradamus that said an innocent would be dragged to hell, saving the soul of a condemned man while dragging a damned one down. Lilith dying was necessary to complete that particular one," said Loki.

"So why are you here?" repeated Bobby. He want particularly fond of this Trickster.

"Like I said, Harry."

"Would someone please explain?" asked Sam. Loki tossed a book at him.

"Page 504," he said simply.

Sam opened the book to the page Loki specified, before he looked at him.

"He's coming back?" he asked.

"As an angel. Harry happens to be a cambion, but unlike most he's half angel, not demon. All he has to do is break a few grace vials like Anna would have had the situation called for it, and he gets to enjoy being an angel. Unlike Anna, he won't need a vessel, because he was born like that," said Loki.

"How do we know this is for real?" asked Dean.

"Harry happens to be my roommate, which means I give a damn what happens to him. When he comes back, he'll automatically be drawn to me. At that point I think he would prefer being around you two and near a bathroom rather than be on the move when he returns," said Loki flatly.

"What about Anna?" asked Dean.

"Anna is currently in hiding. She knows better than to leave until I tell her it's safe to do so."

While they didn't trust Loki (at all) they did trust Harry. So long as he didn't pull a repeat of the Mystery Spot, they could stand to be around him.

* * *

_There was a cage made of blood. The lock had been broken, but it was still useable. Inside there was another glimmer of light, this one brighter than all the others. He picked up the chain, this one much bigger than all the others had been. There was a vial, this one the size of an American fifty-cent piece. The storm inside was much stronger and brighter than he had ever seen. But it also felt rather sad._

_He placed it around his neck, where five other vials clinked alongside it. He had collected all the vials that could be found without the owner of this vial learning what he was doing. It was time to go home...to his family...to his friends._

_He saw a bright light, one that felt so warm and familiar to him. It was calling him back, back to that place of hope and wonder. To somewhere that wasn't full of darkness, hate, fear and death. _

_He wanted to go home._

_His wings, unused until now, flexed, sending blood red dust everywhere and bringing a by now untouched wind. He was outside the cage, his eyes squarely on the light above, to that world of warmth, love and joy._

_It was there, he could feel it! He could sense his weapon coating him in light as he blasted through the pit, sending demons and the damned scattering as he went past them. The thrill of flight was nothing like the joy he felt enveloped in that light._

_There was a gasp of air as he touched the surface, breaking past the demons guarding the entrance. They didn't know what he was, only that his power was too pure to stay in hell. Souls all felt a scant moment of relief from the despair as it briefly touched them, a single moment of hope that they clutched to in their darkest moments._

_Finally! He felt the air change and crashed into something very solid and hard. His last glimpse before he fell into darkness of a more friendly nature was that of a surprise human with a gun._


	14. Chapter 14

**_HAPPY NEW YEAR!  
_**

* * *

"What in the hell?" shouted Bobby when he heard the crash. He sent Dean to check on it, as they hadn't heard from Sam in quite some time.

"Bobby...you aren't going to believe this..." said Dean from the panic room.

"What is it you idjit?"

"There's an angel in your panic room," said Dean, still in shock.

"There's a _what_?!"

Loki, as it turned out, heard the crash the same time Bobby did. And Dean's answer to what had landed in Bobby's panic room. He snorted.

_'It figures that his safe zone would be Bobby's panic room,'_ thought Loki. He had mostly come to a truce with Bobby and Dean, partly because he was able to drink holy water without flinching and hadn't used his tricks on them since he arrived.

The fact he hadn't really reacted to Bobby shooting at him didn't hurt either.

Loki came down in time to find Dean trying to remove the 'angel' from the panic room, only to discover how heavy the wings were.

"You might as well move him onto the bed. It'll be easier to get him up those stairs once he wakes up...and considering he just came out of hell he could probably use a break."

Dean flinched at that reminder, but managed to move the unconscious angel onto the bed. He got a good look at the guy's face, and he looked very familiar.

"So Loki, who is he?" asked Dean once they closed the door.

"He's a cambion who was lucky enough to inherit the wings of his dad's race. Most don't, or the angels kill them off before they even get a chance to find out."

"Why do I feel like I should know him? And aren't half-angels called Nephilim?" asked Dean.

"It's Harry. Apparently he got a makeover thanks to the grace he's been carrying around. And cambion is the proper term for half-breeds of higher or lower beings," shrugged Loki.

"What grace?" demanded Dean.

"See those chains around his neck? I'm fairly sure he spent his time in hell picking them up. Not all demons were once human you know, and Lucy has been recruiting other angels. Their grace had to go somewhere, and I doubt that the angels retrieved them all," said Loki.

Dean took another look at the odd chains around the cambion's neck. Now that he was looking for it, he could see little glass things at the end.

"So what would breaking the glass do?" asked Dean.

"Whoever breaks the glass get's the power inside...unless the original owner is nearby and is still worthy of it. There's a reason demons would gladly kill for it. In his case the chances of him not receiving the power boost are next to nill, considering he got them out of hell."

"How do you know this stuff anyway?" asked Bobby.

"You'll find out when the idiot wakes up," said Loki with a shrug.

Which he did, only after Dean had a rather unpleasant visit from Zachariah. Though Dean refused to say what happened during that trip.

* * *

_What happened during Dean's trip to the future..._

He woke up at Bobby's and found the picture. He was quite upset about what happened to the Impala, but no where near as angry as when his alternate future self nailed him in the back of the head with the butt of his gun.

It took little convincing to prove he was the same Dean as the one sitting there, but there was something...off...about his future self.

It took him a minute to figure out what it was.

This Dean didn't have a single scrap of Monkey's technology on him. And Dean always carried something with that brand.

"So tell me, how quickly did word spread about the virus among hunters?" asked Dean.

Future Dean gave him an odd look.

"After the first major city, wide spread panic set in. Nearly five thousand hunters were dead before anyone knew what was going on. By the time the symptoms became known, it was too late for most."

Dean gave his so-called future self a look.

"Alright Einstein, who broke the last seal?" asked Dean.

"Sam did."

"Son of a bitch... I'm in the wrong future!" swore Dean.

"What?" asked his future self.

"Sam never broke Lilith's seal. Monkey did."

"Who's Monkey?" asked his 'future' self.

"I am. As for you, Dean Winchester, you are at the tail-end of a reset from the original one hundred thirty-four cycles ago," said the angel who was asleep in Bobby's panic room. At least last he checked anyway. His wings were gone though.

"Who are you?" demanded future-Dean.

"Name's Harry. If you want to know what I'm talking about, find Castiel. He might be willing to talk at this juncture, and once you get killed this world resets back to square one anyway," said Harry.

"What?!"

"Dean, tell this idiot what I told you over a year ago," said Harry.

"The Colt can't kill Lucifer. It was made to kill demons, not former arch-angels. Believe me, we checked after Harry mentioned that," said Dean.

"And if what I recall is correct, this happens in almost every reset. Zachariah shows up, drops your ass into a future where Sam says yes, then shows up at the end to drop you back where Castiel saves you from being forced to repeat it," said Harry bluntly.

The second Dean came back with a wasted Castiel...who took one look at the hand-cuffed Dean and asked which year he was from.

"Why can't Cas see you?" Dean asked Harry.

"I was already dead this time line. Or I was waiting for the world to go back to start. Either way, there's something you need to say to snap him out of his high."

"What's that?" asked Dean.

Harry told him, and Dean blinked.

"This isn't like that time where you had me piss of Uriel because it was funny and distracting, is it?"

"Nah, just something all Angels would recognize. So say it already!"

"Fine! _Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?"_ asked Dean in Enoch.

Dean would have laughed outright at the look on Castiel's face, if he had a camera anyway. Harry helpfully took a picture of it though. Castiel really looked like he had been slapped silly by a fish.

"What the hell is going on? Cas, explain!" said Future Dean.

Dean looked at Harry. Harry materialized properly so Cas could see him.

"Look Dean, the fact is that this world has gone through the whole apocalypse thing several times now, only it was set back to the night your mother died each time by either Fate or God. Apparently there was either a glitch that ended the world, like your brother accepting Lucifer's demands to be his vessel, or because some prophecy was never completed. In any case, this world is going back to the drawing board when you face Lucifer, and I'm here to insure that idiot Zachariah doesn't drop your past self in the wrong scenario."

"Who the hell are you anyway?"

"Call me the angel Kibeth. In any event we might as well let this play out," said Harry.

Harry followed Dean obsessively for two days before Zachariah showed up to force him back to the present. Though he did get a great picture of the angel cringing from the kick to the balls Harry gave him as payback for all the crap he had put Dean through.

* * *

Harry woke up an hour after Dean came back to his own reality and called Sam in.

"Ugh...I am so bitch-slapping Sam for falling for Ruby's tricks...and for the possible head trauma he caused," said Harry.

"And here I was wondering what your reaction to that would be. Welcome back squirt," said Loki smugly.

"Hello Dad."

"Excuse me, did you just say _dad_?" asked Dean, having come downstairs to check on him.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"I'll wait till Sam gets here so I can get my revenge for that conk to the head he gave me before I explain a damn thing. But first, how the hell do I retract these things?" asked Harry to Loki.

"Try a partial transformation to your animal form," suggested Loki.

To be honest he had never had that issue come up.

Harry concentrated on his animal form, and Dean blinked when he realized that where the angel had been was now a four-winged unicorn with a golden coat.

_If I get stuck like this I am ramming this horn up your ass Loki!_

"Come on, lighten up!" said Loki, wisely backing away.

"Is he...a horse?"

"A bi-winged alicorn to be exact. No idea why, but from what we've been able to guess he inherited his mother's animal form and his father's angel wings, though there's one less pair on him than on his dad."

_My theory is that I have to break the Grace Vials before I get any more wings added,_ said Harry.

"Well...maybe just the one," admitted Loki. It wasn't that far a stretch, to be honest.

Bobby was giving Harry the strangest looks because apparently, he did get stuck in his animagus form.

"Why is there a winged horse with a horn in my house?" he asked finally.

_Because a certain idjit suggested this method to retract my wings,_ said Harry flatly.

"This is just wrong..." muttered Dean.

"Tell me about it," said Bobby.

Harry finally asked _Why are you in a wheelchair anyway Bobby? Last I checked you could walk just fine!_

"Stabbed myself to get a demon out. This idjit pissed off the angels so they won't help, and Castiel is too weak to do it!" said Bobby.

Harry blinked.

_Dad, in my bag there is a small leather pouch with wooden coins. Could you go get it for me?_ Harry asked.

"Sure, but why would you need that?" asked Loki.

_You'll find out after I give one to Bobby,_ said Harry.

Loki brought up the bag, and then found the pouch Harry asked for.

_Drop one of the coins into a beer and hand it to Bobby. I had them set so they wouldn't activate until they came into contact with alcohol._

Loki raised an eyebrow, but dropped one of the coins into the beer before handing it over.

Bobby didn't know what was going on, or why Harry (he recognized the voice) had done that, but he wasn't wasting a perfectly good beer with silly questions right now. He took a long pull at it and felt the effects almost immediately.

Realizing he could feel his legs again, Bobby tried to sit up. After a moment he was able to stand, though he was a bit wobbly at first.

"What the hell?" said Bobby in shock.

_You know that old tale about beating a witch at a poker game and getting years taken off? Well I beat Patrick at poker during the yearly goblin poker tournament and he gave me seventy-five years to use whenever I want. Would have been a hundred, but I traded twenty-five in exchange for how to use that magic._

"You beat the legendary card-shark out of seventy-five years?" said Bobby, infinitely glad to be out of that damn chair for the first time in two months.

_He knew I was a cambion, and wizards live a long time. The standard bet in that game during the tournament is fifty, unless they are over the age of fifty themselves. _

Loki felt the need to explain.

"Cambions, particularly the rare angel breeds, tend to live longer lives than most humans. Harry here would have lived to two hundred if he hadn't ascended to mostly angel."

"Mostly angel?" asked Dean.

Seeing everyone's interest, Loki explained.

"Most cambions are only half, if that. For a human to ascend to angel status, they would have to forgo their humanity completely, but that's never happened before because either a demon kills them or the angels themselves do. They don't want any 'half breeds' up in heaven from what I heard. However, when a cambion of angel descent ascends to partial angel status, that means they have awakened the powers of their blood but haven't chosen to become an angel yet. I suppose you can call it more of a partial ascension rather than a full one," said Loki.

They heard a car slow to a stop outside. It was likely Sam.

"Dean, I got your message, what's so... Why is there a bi-winged alicorn in Bobby's house? And how is he standing?" said Sam, utterly confused.

"Right, we're almost all here. Dean, call Castiel so we can get that out of the way too, and I'll call Anna," said Loki clapping his hands.

Dean blinked, but prayed to Cas. Anna appeared on her own right around the same time he showed.

"What is so important? And why is there a winged unicorn in Mr. Singer's house?" asked Castiel. He had noticed the horse almost immediately...so it was understandable he missed Gabriel completely.

"Are we finally coming out in the open? It's about time! And Harry, why are you stuck in your animagus form?" asked Anna.

Harry snorted, drawing their attention to him. Suddenly his wings enveloped him and he was able to stand on two feet again.

"Finally! Being a horse with oversized wings in a cramped space sucks!" he said with relief as he cracked his back.

"Gabriel," said Castiel, staring at Harry with shock.

"Nope. Try five feet to the left," said Harry.

It was easy to see why Castiel made the mistake...before Harry looked like James Potter with green eyes, now he looked like Gabriel's current vessel only with auburn hair. He didn't have a scar on his head anymore though.

"I don't understand," said Castiel. From the look on Dean, Sam and Bobby's faces, neither did they.

"Long story short, Gabriel took the form of James Potter and ended up having a cambion with Lily Evans, though from what I can tell the killing curse gave Gabriel partial amnesia. Gabriel sent me into the past to find out who was the source of my angelic heritage, and sent me back when the angels got suspicious of all the activity where there shouldn't be," said Harry.

"And what does that damn Trickster have to do with this?" asked Bobby.

"Hi, I'm Gabriel!" said the insane arch angel far too cheerfully.

Castiel looked at Harry and Gabriel with both surprise and horror.

"You do know our father said that we weren't to mate with the humans," said Castiel.

"Considering it was highly likely _he_ was the cause of me picking James Potter, I highly doubt he would care," said Gabriel.

"What?"

"Does this have anything to do with that whole reset thing Harry mentioned?" asked Dean.

"Yup," said Gabriel, accepting a chocolate frog from Harry's bag.

"I think I need a drink," said Sam.

"Me too," said Bobby.


	15. Chapter 15

Gabriel waited for everyone to sit down before he went into detail about the whole 'reset equals an alternate reality' thing.

"Basically God and Fate both have this weird ability to 'reset' the clock so to speak, usually at the point where Mary Winchester gets murdered by Azazel. At that time a whole bunch of little things collectively turn into a bigger picture. Normally, Fate resets the clock because certain prophecies never get fulfilled or the world is about to end in a way it doesn't like. Sometimes God does it himself, usually when certain people go off the wrong way and end up making things much worse. Either way things get set back to square one," said Gabriel.

"Give us an example then," said Bobby.

"Dean's already seen one. That future where Sam says yes to Lucy and sets that Croatoan virus loose? That was from original path many 'retakes' ago. Dean was just unlucky to get caught at the tail end of it," said Gabriel.

"Many times? The world's been destroyed how many times?" said Bobby.

"A hundred and thirty-four. This is try one hundred thirty-five, and so far things are much better than they were during the first run," said Gabriel flatly.

"How bad?" asked Sam quietly.

"You and Dean split up and come back repeatedly instead of only the one, Sam was the one to kill Lilith and had been with Ruby the entire time Dean was in hell, Dean had severe trust issues...much worse than they are now but still very bad, and Bobby as I recall didn't get his legs back for over a year. Anna, you stole back your grace and ascended to heaven that same night... and Castiel, not much has changed."

"What about Harry?" asked Dean.

"His parents died, he spends ten years with his aunt and abusive uncle and cousin, loses his godfather at fifteen and then kills Voldemort after committing suicide and becomes Master of Death. The problem was that you two never got the full ring of Death, so it was impossible to put him back into his cage since you didn't know about the Hallows. I even died saving your ass by distracting Lucifer," said Gabriel annoyed.

"As I recall, you said the first time around you didn't even _want_ to help the idjits," said Harry with a smirk.

"Why would I? I left heaven because I was sick and tired of my brothers arguing. After I realized what was going on, I figured hell, might as well move things along just to see if this stupid cycle would finally end!" snorted Gabriel.

"So why Harry? Out of all the wizards in the world, why him?" asked Bobby.

"It's because of his status as the Master of Death," said Castiel, "Even if the world was 'reset' as Gabriel put it, that sort of power doesn't exactly go away."

"Which is why I think God had a hand in turning Harry here into a cambion. He's still the Master of Death, but now he's got something that can override it, giving him a semi-normal life," said Gabriel.

"I still think it was punishment for sending me into the past for no other reason than to answer why I had angel blood in me," piped Harry.

"That too," admitted Gabriel.

"So what was his life like before the first reset? You know, after all was said and done?" asked Dean.

"Boring. He married a fan girl, had four kids and a dog, and a dull job as an Auror."

Harry paled, he still had nightmares of that!

"Please for the love of all that is holy say it wasn't Ginny..."

"Ginny Potter and Hermione Weasly. You had a son named Albus-Severus, Lily, James and Sirius."

"Oh god no!" said Harry in horror.

"What's so bad about that?" asked Sam.

"Ginny is the worst fan girl I've ever had, and Hermione and Ron would never be a good fit! She's anal retentive and he's the laziest bastard I've ever seen!" said Harry.

"How did you know it was Ron?" asked Gabriel amused.

"Who else would it be?" said Harry.

"Point. Anything things occasionally get screwed up, like for instance when Lucifer opted to just kill Dean after he emptied the Colt straight into his face," said Gabriel.

"WHAT?!"

"The Colt kills demons, but it's crap at killing arch angels, which is what Lucifer used to be. There is, however, one alternative to that," said Gabriel.

"You can't possibly be referring to that prophecy about an innocent sent to hell dragging the soul of the damned," said Castiel.

"Everyone knows that was a fake one, because it's never happened," said Anna.

"And how would an innocent be dragged into hell to begin with?" said Castiel.

"Harry, the floor is yours," said Gabriel smugly.

Both angels looked at him.

Harry chuckled nervously as he held up all six chains. Seeing their disbelieving stare made him even more nervous.

"It takes something drastic for an angel cambion to attain partial ascension. Something as drastic as being dragged into hell without having made a deal, wouldn't you say?" said Gabriel smugly.

"You're kidding," said Anna.

"Harry was dragged into hell by Lilith's seal being broken, and he took Voldemort with him. He save Sam's soul in the process, and as you can see he brought back the grace of at least six angels, one of which is Lucifer's."

"The soul of the innocent being sent to hell, dragging the soul of the damned while saving the soul of the condemned. In doing he will return bearing that which the first of the fallen has forsaken," intoned Castiel.

"Are you saying Harry is the soul of the innocent?" said Anna.

"Harry is the innocent who brought back the grace of Lucifer himself. The damned soul was Voldemort, and all his soul carriers were destroyed the moment the fragment in Harry's scar touched hell. And the condemned is Sam, who as we all know is the true vessel of Lucifer," said Gabriel.

"So what does this mean?" asked Bobby.

"It means that there is now a third player on this board. It's no longer about Micheal and Lucifer duking it out...I've seen that end and it didn't end well for either side. When Harry accepts Lucifer's grace as his own, he will be able to match both Micheal and Lucifer...and with his cambion heritage he can possibly overpower him," said Gabriel.

"Hold up...the runt can match Lucifer and Micheal?" said Dean.

"Harry's status as Master of Death has already translated into his own grace once he achieved a partial ascension. He can still use his magic thanks to the work I did on his wand, but the quality of his magic has gone up. Cambions are naturally more powerful than most demons, this goes double for those of angel blood who haven't fallen. Add to the fact he now has Lucifer's grace, which had been deemed lost since he fell, and he could easily match an arch angel," said Gabriel. Anna and Castiel nodded in agreement.

"There's also the fact that unlike Micheal or Lucifer, I side with humans," said Harry. This was almost as bad as the whole boy-who-lived stick, but at least this time he would be getting all the facts and the ability to plan his attacks. Plus there would only be a limited amount of fame thanks to his new look.

"Yeah, something tells me you won't end up being a dick with wings like all the others have been," said Dean dryly.

"Oi," said Gabriel, mildly offended.

"Dude, you killed me over a hundred times in one freaking day. You have _no_ room to talk," said Dean.

"Touché Winchester," said Gabriel.

"Now, what's our plan?" asked Harry.

"Well I heard a rumor about odd things happening in..." said Bobby.

It was obvious Bobby planned to set Harry and the Winchester brothers on a hunt to get used to his new powers.

"What about Loki, Cas and Anna?" asked Dean.

"We'll be in contact. Harry can get a hold of me at any time, and I've already set a protection spell on Anna. If nothing else she can break her Grace Vial and ascend back into heaven," said Gabriel with a shrug.

"What are those?" asked Castiel, finally noticing Harry's new necklaces.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot. Here Cas, you can have this," said Harry taking one off and tossing it to him.

"This is..."

"While I was in the pit, I mindlessly searched for beacons of light. I found six of them, including one that belonged to Lucifer. Inside is all the grace of an angel who fell into Lucifer's claws. If nothing else it should restore some of your power, just give us a heads up before you break it," said Harry.

"Wait, I thought you needed all six of them to equal Lucifer," said Dean.

"Nope. I just need to break his in order to equal him and Micheal. The others are just bonus. Besides, it's not like the demons would get any real use out of it."

"Why not?"

"Grace tends to act like acid to demons in it's pure form. It doesn't harm humans, but it gives angels a massive power boost," said Gabriel.

Castiel slipped his vial around his neck. It would come in handy in case he ran into another angel.

* * *

Harry was taking a nap in the back while Dean and Sam chatted away. Now that he could summon his wings, he was going to have fun. Of course it was a pain in the ass retracting them.

"Man, I cannot get over the fact that the damn Trickster was Gabriel this whole time screwing with us," said Dean.

"I know. All that crap he put us through with the Mystery Spot?" said Sam in disgust.

"And the fact he had a kid no less!" said Dean. That had been a real shock.

"I can hear you, you know?" said Harry dryly, his head turned against the two of them.

"Sorry man, but it's beyond surreal. It's bad enough Mikey and Lucy have us pegged as their meat suits, but learning this stuff is almost even worse!" said Dean.

Harry sat up and gave them a look.

"So what's the case we're on again?" he yawned.

"Some guy got ganked in a parked car, but all the injuries look like a car crash," said Dean.

"Well the dead guy's records indicate he was looking pretty damn hard for the Little Bastard."

Dean nearly stopped the car.

"_The_ Little Bastard? You don't think?"

"What's the Little Bastard?" asked Sam.

"The Little Bastard is the car James Dean died in. Afterwords anyone who came into contact with it died horrible deaths, like the mechanic who originally fixed it up," explained Harry.

"Fell right on top of him," said Dean helpfully.

"In any case, I seriously doubt that it's the actual Little Bastard," said Harry.

"Why not?"

"Well for one thing a hunter in 1971 accidentally came across it and burned the thing," said Harry.

"What?! No way! Someone actually found and destroyed the Little Bastard?" said Dean.

"Burned and buried. Gabriel sent me to the past remember? While I was there I hit the Hunter's Coven and had them help me update the HKC. I overheard the story there," said Harry with a shrug.

"HKC? Anything like KFC?" joked Dean.

"HKC, which is Hunter's short talk for the now infamous Hunter Kill Count. You two are currently in the top ten kill wise, though I did explain to the other hunters why the apocalypse had started," said Harry.

"You what?!"

"I told them that the angels had slacked off and didn't stop Lilith in time, and that you accidentally killed her because the idjits didn't bother to tell you she was the last seal. As far as the other hunters know, it's all the angels fault for not giving you need-to-know information. Hell, I have a link that leads to Hunter bios so others can at least remember those who were either KIA or retired."

Bobby had been more than happy to help Harry create that one. His third site was the Hunter's Log, or Hunterslog dot com.

He already made a site called , and it was a major hit since the hunters learned of it. Now they had bragging rights and a site to back it up!

"What about us?" asked Sam.

"Oh, you two idjits are on there too. It's a joint bio since you two are a team, even when you don't act like it at times."

Harry leaned back and stretched his legs. Thanks to a spell, he could now properly sleep back here, and so could Sam. Dean had nearly kissed him when he did the same thing to the weapon space in the back.

"Now that you look like an adult, there's only one thing we should do," said Dean.

"What?" asked Harry.

"Go drinking!"

"Good thing I have this," said Harry grinning.

"It's a blank piece of paper," said Dean.

"And now?"

"Dude, is that a license?" said Dean.

Harry was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Have you ever seen a show called _Doctor Who_?"

"I've heard of it," said Sam.

"Well one of the key items the Doctor uses is something called psychic paper. Basically it's anything you want it to be, and no one can tell the difference. It's all those fake ID's of yours rolled into one!" cackled Harry.

"You have got to get us one of those!" said Dean.

"Sammy might be able to work it, but Dean might have some trouble...or maybe not. All this is, is a piece of paper spelled with a permanent Confudus charm. Makes people see what isn't there. I'll see if my contacts can get you guys one," said Harry cheerfully.

"What about a sonic screwdriver?" asked Sam.

"Dude, that sounds like a chick's drink," said Dean flatly. He blinked when Harry handed some metallic device to Sam.

"All the official uses of the screwdriver, and a few extras. Even makes the noise!" grinned Harry.

"Nerds," said Dean.

Sam looked a little giddy as he aimed the device at Dean's trunk and it popped open. It made the noise and the light was the correct color.

"You got the eleventh's?"

"Fan of David Tennant, eh? Hold on... Here it is! We've got them all the way to the current one, Matt Smith I think," said Harry.

"Next you're going to tell me you have Sauron's ring," said Dean sarcastically. His jaw dropped when Harry produced a familiar ring.

"The writing appears when exposed to fire or heat. Has a permanent invisibility/disillusionment charm, silencing charm...basically it takes you out of phase," grinned Harry.

"That's it, we are getting you two nerds laid," complained Dean.

"This coming from the grease monkey," said Harry smirking. He had grabbed these things from his Nerd Bag, which was full of fantasy and sci-fi paraphernalia that his contacts had managed to duplicate to near perfection.

"Cars are cool, you two are just nerds," said Dean flatly.


	16. Chapter 16

_**First off, loving the response that my Nerd Bag of Awesomeness got. Hearing your responses honestly made me laugh at that. And the fact Sam is a Doctor Who fan. But before everyone lynches me about the 'errors' I made concerning Doctor Who, let me explain a few things.**_

_**Officially it was the TENTH Doctor Who saved Rose Tyler in Season One of the current Doctor Who series. David Tennant has, according to Matt Smith's character during the recent Christmast episode, regenerated twice and kept his face which makes him the ELEVENTH Doctor. As for Matt Smith, well this was set before the recent 2013 Christmas episode, and during the time he's still traveling with Amy and Rory.**_

_**Also, if you look at the fanfiction site itself, they also have David Tennant listed as the 11th Doctor, not the tenth. While the new Doctor is technically the 13th, I've heard from my cousins that the Doctor's regeneration cycle was reset to zero during the Christmas episode, and they're bigger Whovians than I am.**_

_**Just thought I would explain why I called David Tennant the eleventh not the tenth, since so many of my fellow Who fans jumped on that one.**_

* * *

Harry was giggly after he saw Sam nearly eaten by Gandhi of all people. So was Dean.

"Wasn't Gandhi a vegetarian?" snickered Harry.

"A fruitatarian," said Sam tiredly.

"I always knew that rabbit diet would do you in eventually!" cackled Harry. Dean lost the battle and joined Harry in laughing at Sam's hero.

"So why didn't it go after you?" asked Sam.

"How is it going to get a piece of my dad or the Doctor? Not like that wax museum had any figures of them!" snickered Harry. He had been there too, but he hadn't be armed. By all means he should have been the one attacked instead of Sam.

"Nerds," muttered Dean.

"So what now?" asked Sam.

"Now we look for something else. It's not a ghost, I can tell you that much," said Harry, his giggle fit finally subsiding.

"How can you tell?"

"Well according to Dad, part of the whole 'Master of Death' stick is that I can tell a ghost from something pretending to be one. Until I go full angel, I have power over souls and reapers."

"How did a midget like you master death?" asked Dean. That had never been very clear to him.

"Ah...well according to Dad, Lucifer gave Death free reign for a few years and during that time Death gave three items to a wizard family. A wand that could never be beaten, power wise anyway, a cloak that could hide you from reapers, and the stone from his ring. When I dragged Voldemort down to the pit, he had two of the three items and I had been wearing the third under my coat that day, so I accidentally mastered death. Once we reunite Death's ring with the stone that power should go away."

In reality he would just lose the power over souls. He could still mess with reapers though.

While Dean and Sam went back to the museum two days later, Harry got a call from his friends in Japan. They knew he had a change in appearance, though his personality was the same.

(In terms they could understand, he was like the Doctor...he changed his face whenever his time was up.)

"Moshi moshi," said Harry.

"_We found something of interest," _said Takata.

"Go on."

"_There's an old spell and a poultice that will humans to see hellhounds and reapers like they were regular grims and ghosts. The spell is the only thing that can affect them,"_ said Takata.

"Hang on...okay, give me the list," said Harry. It was standard procedure to verify the things worked before payment was issued. If it worked, then the contact would be paid generously. If not, well they were given incentive to try again.

It was a two-way street, and his friends always knew he was good for it.

* * *

"Well?" he asked them later.

"It was some god who heard Armageddon started early and felt like pigging out," said Dean.

"Wasn't that the movie with Bruce Willis being an oil rig manager?" asked Harry.

"Yeah. I didn't know you saw that movie!" said Dean.

"And _Dogma_...god you should have heard the screams of disgust and horror when I showed that one in the Great Hall this one time... Damn Loki for telling me about it and not watching it alone first..." said Harry.

"Why would people freak out about that one? It's more of a comedy than anything!"

"Because the guy who played the Metatron looks exactly like our potions teacher, only cleaner. Snape was pissed as hell after the students saw that scene where he dropped his pants and had nothing there... You should have heard the rumors it sparked."

"Snape? You mean that your potions teacher looks like that actor Alan Rickman?" said Sam.

"Exactly like Alan Rickman. Believe me, I looked up his name and found all the stuff he's been in to avoid a repeat," shuddered Harry.

"I heard an odd rumor in Alliance, Nebraska. Mind if I take this one solo?" asked Harry.

"Go for it. Call us if you need any help," said Dean at the diner.

As per usual, Harry paid for the food and gas every time he traveled with them. It wasn't like he had anything better to do with the cash in his account.

"Coolio. See you back at Bobby's then," said Harry grinning.

* * *

Harry pulled up to the nearby hotel in his new motorcycle. Unlike Dean, he was a bigger fan of riding a Harley rather than an classic muscle car.

"Room for one please," he said pleasantly. The receptionist blushed at his wink, but gave him the room key.

Harry sat down at the table and read over the file. By all rights this looked like an overpowered Muggleborn, albeit a very young one. The kid probably hadn't even started school yet.

"Joy. I get to explain to the kid that magic exists before the damn school even bothers to pick it up," said Harry in annoyance. Why the American Ministry hadn't noticed this sooner was beyond him.

It took him three days to find the epicenter, and by that time he knew the kid's power was out of control. Two deaths and several severely traumatized people, one of who had his teeth yanked out by force by an rather horrifying version of the tooth fairy...he really needed to stop this mess before it got too bad for the Ministry to clean up.

Harry rented a car a few towns away and drove up to the lone farm house...where his senses went into overdrive.

This wasn't the work of an overpowered Muggleborn...this was the work of a young cambion.

"Son of a bitch...why is much luck always this weird?" muttered Harry. He might as well talk to the kid first to see whether it was worth torching the runt. Most angels would kill them on sight, but Harry was going to give this kid a chance first.

"Hello, are your parents home?"

"No, they're at work."

Harry came in and checked on the kid, who was clearly miserable. His parents were gone most of the day, leaving him to fend for himself, and judging by the stories they told him about playing pranks, it was clear he didn't have much fun.

He would have to come back and clear this up, fast. Before the kid turned Damien-level evil.

* * *

"Mr. and Mrs. Turner? My name is Gabriel Winchester. I'm here about your son Jesse," said Harry. He had talked to Jesse the day before, and explained that he would be helping his parents out if he was able to control his own power...and that he would help his parents have a job that would allow them to spend more time together.

Blood doesn't always mean that they are great parenting material.

Jesse was just glad that someone didn't consider him a freak and was willing to train him to control his odd abilities...oh and Harry had promised him that he would teach the kid how to fly.

"We are good parents," said Mrs. Turner defensively.

"I'm not here about your parenting skills, which from what I can tell are not lacking in the least, though you could spend more time with your son. No, I'm here about an opportunity for the two of you and Jesse. May I come in?"

That seemed to calm them down.

"Now I represent the Monkey Magic Corporation. I'm sure you've heard of it?"

"It's the second-biggest provider of electronics and has the best coverage of any major network provider," said Mr. Turner.

Harry turned to Mr. Turner...before he frowned.

"Mr. Turner are you aware that your contract with whatever demon you contacted is almost up? You're cutting it close aren't you?"

The adults blinked before Mr. Turner frowned.

"What are you?"

"Someone very much like Jesse who doesn't want the kid to be turned evil because of his power. His ability has grown far too strong to be ignored, and it was lucky I found him before something else did. With all the incidents around town lately a hunter would have showed up and it would have been very easy for them to find Jesse. And I can tell you right now that most angels do not like cambions."

"You're like me?" said Jesse hopefully.

"I'm a different breed of cambion, but yes, I am like you. I can move you and hide you from both demons and angels, and get Jesse training before he really hurts someone, but the choice is yours. I'm afraid staying here is out of the question, because you have been drawing too much attention to yourself by making pranks like the joy buzzer far too real."

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone!" said Jesse upset.

"I'm not saying you meant to do anything, but your power can affect reality. I can help you control that power so it _doesn't_ hurt anyone...and to be honest I've always wanted a little brother," admitted Harry.

"You said you represented the Monkey Magic Corporation. Was that true?"

"I'm the owner. I can give you both jobs and insure that Jesse has training without breaking you apart. However when the contract comes due, I would recommend separating yourself from your wife and son to keep the demons from finding him. At the moment his power hides him from both sides, but not from hunters," said Harry seriously.

Mr. Turner nodded in agreement.

"What do you say Jesse?" asked his mother.

"I want to learn... I don't want to hurt anyone with this powers anymore," he said.

"We accept your offer," said Mr. Turner.

* * *

"Hey Dad, come meet my little brother!" said Harry far too cheerfully.

Loki paused from getting his cake. There was no way in hell he had sired a second kid, even if the first one was because he knew God was making him pay for flippantly sending Harry into the past.

He looked past the fridge to find...

"Where did you find Jesse? I thought the Winchester idjits were the ones who took that case," said Loki.

"Beat them to it apparently. Did you know his dad had a demon contract of all things? I was able to relocate them somewhere near a group of Hunters," said Harry flippantly.

"Who's this?" asked Jesse.

"Jesse, meet Loki...yes, that Loki. Also known as Gabriel the arch angel and unrepentant sugar addict," said Harry cheerfully.

"Guilty."

Jesse seemed to take the fact Harry had all but claimed him (in much the same manner as Loki had before they learned he was Harry's father this go around) rather well considering.

"Welcome to the Gabriel Academy of Mischief and Enchantment!" said Harry theatrically.

Gabriel choked. Where the hell did Harry come up with this stuff?!

"You do realize that spells 'game' right?" said Jesse.

"Yeah, and? Most of the things we'll teach involves cheating at games. Though not poker, because Patrick hates it when we do that around him," said Harry.

"Who's Patrick?" asked Jesse.

Harry snapped his fingers.

"I almost forgot...hang on while I go get a certain book," said Harry. Gabriel snickered, but offered Jesse some chocolate. He grinned when the kid started munching down almost immediately.

"This is really good!"

"I know right? How do you feel about frogs?" asked Gabriel.

"Frogs are awesome," said Jesse.

Gabriel dropped a box into Jesse's hands.

"When you open it, make sure to catch it quick and bite it like you would a chocolate Easter bunny," said Gabriel eagerly. Every single human he had ever met always ate the ears first, and he was no exception.

Jesse opened the cardboard, and squawked with surprise when the frog inside moved. He did grab it though and bit the head off. He looked surprised to find it was chocolate.

"Like I said, a chocolate Easter bunny...or in this case frog."

"Gabriel, I wanted to be the first to convert him to frogs!" whined Harry with a grin. Jesse eyed the book with suspicion.

Probably because the thing was giving _him_ a look that didn't inspire friendly thoughts.

"What is that?"

"Monster Book of Monsters. Stroke the spine and learn all you've ever wanted to know about magical creatures...including dragons! Maybe after a month I can take you to a reserve I know of and you can see them for real!" said Harry giddy.

It was fun having a little brother to corrupt. Now he could see why Fred and George always took the mikey out of him every chance they got. It was fun!

"Stroke the spine of the book and it will go flat enough for you to read it. And the pictures actually move, kinda like a silent movie only without any words," said Harry. Seeing Jesse's eyes light up when he started to read the book made Harry's day.

Gabriel watched Harry make dinner.

"So...you going to tell the twins about what happened or should I?"

"I'll tell Hermione about the whole 'I am now exactly like the Doctor' bit to keep her from yelling at me long enough to slip in the papers to make her CEO of magical relations."

Harry had finally stepped in as owner of the MMC (as it was called by most) so his employees knew who they were employed to. Most were excited and flattered that 'the Harry Potter' had made a company for the misplaced Muggleborns who didn't have a chance to catch up on missed education.

Harry actually _paid_ them to graduate college after they were hired so they could exist in both worlds.


	17. Chapter 17

Jesse fit into their odd group with disturbing ease. He seemed to get along great with Gabriel, but as Harry had hoped, he looked to the older cambion as an older brother figure.

Harry had a method to his madness, much to Hermione's annoyance. The way he trained Jesse was the same method Gabriel used on him.

Pranks.

Harry had dropped by Hermione's new apartment with some paperwork, and had introduced Jesse to her. She was still annoyed that he had up and left (he had already given her his contacts) without a word of goodbye.

To his surprise Petunia had survived the Death Eaters and Voldemort's reign of terror, though she was little more than a shell at this point. He wouldn't doubt that eventually she would pass on or a demon would possess her and she would find peace.

* * *

"Harry James Potter, you of all people should know that _Doctor Who_ is fiction! Now why on earth would you get plastic surgery to remake your entire image?" she demanded.

"For the last time 'Mione, this wasn't done by plastic surgery. And Doctor Who was the best comparison I could come up with, so sue me."

"Then what is it? Because I know you're not a time lord dammit."

"I recently came into some inheritance on my dad's side. Happy? The end result was that my face and body changed to look like this."

"What inheritance?"

"Creature inheritance would be the only thing I can think of."

"I call bullshit!" said Hermione flatly. She looked ready for a rant, so Harry brought out his wings.

"Are those...?!"

"Yeah. Turned out James Potter wasn't even human, but the vessel for an angel. Like Jesse I'm what's known as a cambion, or half divine creature and half human. Guess Draco's old taunts about me being a half-blood weren't entirely wrong now were they?" said Harry with a sigh.

"Dammit Harry, why does this always happen to you?" said Hermione, reaching into her liquor cabinet.

"Hell if I know. Oh, and you might want to avoid anyone with black eyes from now on. Some idiot let Lucifer out and he's jump started the apocalypse," said Harry conversationally.

"Harry, don't be silly, Lucifer doesn't exist. Right? RIGHT?" said Hermione hysterically.

"How long has it been since you checked the Monkey Magic website?" he asked in return.

"Damn you to hell Harry Potter... Damn you and that horrible thing called your life..." said Hermione sobbing for what was left of her sanity.

Harry blinked.

"How in the name of magic did you know I was dragged into hell?" he asked.

"Screw it, I'm off to get shit-faced drunk! And don't you dare come with me dammit!" swore Hermione.

She loved him like a brother, but he drove her to drink. Such was the life of Harry's best friends.

Hermione would later wake up with no memory of where she was or why she was in bed with a rather handsome man with a trench coat.

She would later try to strangle Harry to death when she learned said man was in fact an angel named Castiel who had somehow ended up in the same bar...and swore if he got her pregnant he would be in more trouble than he had ever conceived of.

Gabriel just laughed his ass off when heard of the incident. And he felt some vindication since apparently god had gotten Castiel into trouble with a human woman too.

* * *

"Harry!" said Fred.

"Good to see you chap!" said George.

"Love the new look!" they said in unison.

"Gred, Forge, meet my new minion/partner in pranks Jesse. Jesse, meet the evil Weasly twins who will help me corrupt you with pranks," said Harry easily.

"Hello," he said timidly. It had been a real shock meeting people who didn't bat an eye at what he could do.

"Relax Jesse, they don't bite...though always double-check _anything_ they give you to eat," said Harry seriously.

"So what can we do for our overlord?" asked Gred.

"Help me corrupt a minion, but don't go overboard. I'm trying to keep him from reaching Damien-level evil," said Harry.

"Damien? Wasn't he that little brat who was the devil's son?" said George.

"Yup. Anyway Jesse here has that kind of potential, but isn't evil just yet. In short, help me keep him a good kid and not turn into a damn Malfoy," said Harry.

"Done and done!" they said in unison. The last thing they needed was a kid with Damien's potential for evil and Malfoy's attitude problem. Or worse, Ron's.

"Who's Malfoy?" asked Jesse.

"Next stop, St. Mungo's!" said Harry. Better to let Jesse meet Draco to see why he didn't want him to become an arrogant git than to mold him without him knowing why.

Five minutes in Draco's company was all Jesse needed to be convinced that acting like him was a bad idea. No one liked Draco and he was a total creep. Harry took him on a tour of St. Mungo's, explaining to the kid what happened to the people in the rooms and why. It was a very valuable lesson on morals that Jesse needed to learn early before he got to the real lessons on how to use his power.

Lockhart, for instance, was a lesson on why stealing credit from others could only lead to bad things. The Longbottoms were his lesson on why torturing innocents was cruel and bad. Remus became his lesson on werewolves and why it was always better to see why the attacks occurred before you made an opinion of them. House elves were his best lesson on slavery that you could get. Visiting the goblins became a lesson on money management.

Harry was gone a month, but when Jesse came back to see his parents, he had all sorts of things to tell them.

* * *

"Oh my god...You two ran into Patrick didn't you?" said Harry, having gotten a call from Sam an hour ago.

Dean looked like an eighty-year old and Bobby, well, he was back in the wheelchair.

"Dammit boy, help us out!"

"Hello fun prank. Just give me a minute so I can prove Dean wasn't as good a poker player as he's been claiming before I go play against Patrick."

Dean looked pissed, but he put up with it.

"So, you're here to win back what that hunter idiot lost," said Patrick.

"Yup! I'll even up the ante. See, I'm from England on vacation, so fifty years doesn't really mean much to me. How does a hundred sound?" said Harry, his accent distinctly British.

Patrick was grinning evilly.

"You sure mate?"

"Yeah, not like a hundred years are going to bother me," said Harry.

Patrick was grinning evilly, as he didn't recognize Harry thanks to the partial ascension. Well that and the new face.

By the fifth hand, Patrick wasn't grinning...he was frowning big time.

"Who the hell are ya laddie? No one's beaten me honest this bad since..."

"September 17th, 1978, England," said Harry cheerfully, "I kicked your ass during that poker tournament with the goblins didn't I?"

"You. I thought that smirk was familiar. How've you been Harry?" grinned Patrick.

"Turns out my dad was the angel half of my heritage. I achieved partial ascension a few months ago after breaking out of hell," said Harry easily, setting another card down.

"That would do it. So are you the innocent cast into hell to bring back what the first lost?" asked Patrick.

"Apparently. How did you know about that?"

"I was with Nostradamus when he made that particular prophecy. He was the worst poker player, but he always bribed his way into winning."

Patrick wasn't the first witch to learn that 'reverse the years' trick, he was just the one to run with it the longest. Harry could have given Dean his years back, but to be honest he found it hilarious Dean lost in the first place.

"So how many years did Dean lose anyway?"

"Fifty, though he gave twenty-five to his current paraplegic friend," said Patrick.

"Well I'll raise you fifty-one," said Harry cheerfully.

"You win and I restore the years they lost?" said Patrick.

"Yup."

"Deal. Aces high," said Patrick.

"Four of a kind," said Harry, showing four kings.

"That's the same bloody hand you beat me with last time, and I know you aren't cheating because your magic's been cut off since you came in here and you're wearing short sleeves that don't reach the table."

"Not to mention my hands haven't left the table," grinned Harry.

"Alright, I'll restore the grumpy old men," said Patrick with humor, then added "And then you better explain how the hell you changed your face so thoroughly that it didn't fall apart at the magic canceling field and managed to travel through time!"

Harry chuckled.

"Long story short, I'm an angel-breed cambion, and I ended up in the past to find out who my angel half belonged to. Turned out my roommate also happened to be my dad, only in a new vessel and no memory of his kid. As for the face, well after the partial ascension it turned into this," said Harry.

Patrick blinked.

"You're a cambion? An angel one at that? I thought they were all prudish gits," he said in surprise.

"Most of them are. Our current working theory is that god was punishing the angel who sent me into the past for no other reason than to answer a simple question. Ironically enough I now look like my dad again, only this time with my mother's hair color and eyes," chuckled Harry.

"So, any idea why the demons and angels are more active of late?"

"Eh. I killed Lilith, breaking the final seal and dragged old Voldie down to hell completing the prophecy. Because Lucy has a new vessel, he's kick starting the apocalypse, though the angels really didn't do much to stop it to be honest. The Winchester boys have already taken out War, so it's only a matter of time before they go after Death, Pestilence and Famine," said Harry.

"I'll be rooting for whatever team you're on Harry. God knows you'll need that support. Besides, unlike the other angels you aren't a complete ass at poker," smirked Patrick.

Harry chuckled as the two went out for a good old fashioned bar crawl, complaining together about the weak arse liquor America had.

* * *

"Ah Patrick, allow me to introduce you to my sister in all but blood Hermione Granger. Hermione, meet Patrick."

"Hello Patrick. Harry, what are you attempting to get me into now?" she asked coldly.

"Patrick's recent traveling companion got tired of never dying, so he needs someone who can keep him in line. Join him in his traveling and you'll never have to worry about your book budget again...or a demon," said Harry flatly.

Patrick gave her his most winning smile.

"Is he in any way, shape or form like that man you tricked into that bar last time?" asked Hermione.

"He's a nine hundred year old witch who can steal or give away years through poker. Aside from that, no," said Harry.

"Do you have any embarrassing tales of this idiot?"

"No."

"Would you like some?" asked Hermione. She could live with someone older than her so long as it meant Harry wouldn't drag her into anymore adventures of his. She had narrowly escaped that incident with Castiel unchanged.

"I can see why you recommended her," said Patrick with a grin. It had taken all of a month to grieve over his last traveling companion, and the first person Harry thought of to fill the void had been his dear friend Hermione.

At the very least she would learn to loosen up and never marry Ron out of desperation.

* * *

"Oh god... Dad, why?" said Harry, trying and failing not to laugh at the predicament that he had found Dean and Sam in.

Gabriel had gotten bored, and he had never really put down his disguise as Loki, so he had gone a-hunting for people to play tricks on. Dean and Sam just had the bad luck of running into him while he was still bored, and were now in an endless series of sitcom reruns.

The sad part (for the Winchesters anyway) was that Gabriel was video taping everything with his new digital camera for future blackmail.

"Dude, I hate your dad," said Dean flatly after Harry finally rescued them. (Only after he had literally laughed himself sick.)

"It's not my fault you two didn't recognize his handiwork!" snickered Harry.

Sam looked absolutely miserable...mostly because Loki informed them that he was so posting this on his new website, angelictrickster dot com.

After all the fun Harry had with his three websites, he had bugged him for one of his own. Hence the video camera. So far it had millions of hits, mostly because there was a link from the Hunter's website Harry ran.

Harry had the feeling Sam and Dean would become very, very popular over the next week. They were Gabriel's favorite victims. The worst part was that Harry had just phoned Ellen and Jo about the site, and he was showing Bobby later, so they were sure to laugh hard at their expense.

"Seriously dad, why did you turn Sam into the car from Nightrider?"

"Nostalgia mostly. First time around they fell into my trap and they caught me with holy oil that Dean _literally _pulled out of Sam's ass."

"Oh god!" said Harry, doubling over with laughter all over again. He couldn't wait to see Bobby's reaction to the fact Dean watched soap operas of all things.

"If you post that one scene at the hospital, you are a dead angel!" hissed Dean.

"Don't tempt me to post it on youtube," cackled Gabriel. Dean lunged at the trickster, but Sam and Harry barely kept him from strangling the man. Gabriel continued to laugh at their expense.


	18. Chapter 18

Harry was halfway through lunch when he got the call. Some girl with Chuck's phone begged him to come.

Harry snorted. For one thing, Gabriel already told him that this Becky was just luring him to the first fan convention, and two, he also mentioned that the hotel they were staying at had three psychotic children ghosts that would kill if the woman was taken out through the usual methods.

On the other hand he was a bit bored and Jesse had started reading the books after Gabriel mentioned them.

"Hey dad, you want to go to a fan convention? Might see some idiot dressed as you there," Harry called out from the kitchen.

"Is it the psychotic children ghosts?" he yelled back.

"Considering the call I just got, most likely."

"Do I get to bring up the site and how many people visited that video of Dean and Sam in TV Land?"

"Sure!" cackled Harry. That particular video shot off like a rocket, and more hunters were eager to see the Winchesters taken down a peg, even if it was by a trickster with his own website.

Some actually commented on the fact that it would have been even more popular had it been John Winchester instead of his sons.

"What about me? Can I come?" asked Jesse.

Harry bent down to Jesse's level.

"Which would you rather do, go to a boring convention with murderous ghosts...or Universal Studios with your parents?" asked Harry.

Jesse thought about that for a minute.

"I'd rather go to the theme park," he decided.

"Remember, if anything happens you come straight back here, okay?" said Harry. Jesse nodded. He liked hanging around Harry and Gabriel. It was fun, and they were so nice to him.

Even if Harry did tend to call him his own personal minion.

* * *

Harry took one look at the overweight Dean and scarecrow Sam and about died laughing his ass off.

When he saw the real Dean and Sam, he fell over cackling like a lunatic.

"Dammit, why did you two have to show up?" complained Dean. It was that damn warehouse all over again.

It didn't help that Gabriel had his camcorder and was recording all of this for his site. Dean and Sam were _never_ going to live this down, and he knew it.

Gabriel nearly dropped the camera and Harry about died again when they heard one of the fan forums for the convention. Dean was apoplectic because he knew, he just knew that _neither_ of those two jerks would ever let them live this down, and neither would any other hunter.

He just prayed he could destroy Bobby's laptop before he saw this. Sure he would have to pay for a new one, but it would be worth it to delay this embarrassment for even a few days.

Harry grinned and walked up to Chuck.

"So you're Chuck! Hi, I'm Harry and this is Loki!" said Harry grinning.

"Call him idjit, it's easier to remember," suggested Loki cheerfully.

"What can I do for you?" said Chuck nervously.

"Well, we were hoping you would help us acquire some juicy blackmail material," said Harry smirking.

"And how's that?" asked Chuck, less nervous now that he knew they weren't after him. Considering Loki loved to prank the Winchesters, it didn't take a genius to figure out who they were actually after.

"Well we know people will ask where you got the idea for _Supernatural_...and we were hoping you could fudge your story about making it up," said Harry with a grin.

"Basically we want you to tell the fans that Sam and Dean were actually based on a pair of brothers you met camping and became friends with who told you stories about hunting in the woods," said Loki.

"But Sam and Dean are sure to kill me!" said Chuck. They already hated the fact that he had written about them and that they had been tricked to this convention!

"Just tell them that Loki threatened to put you in an illusion if you didn't. Or that Harry put you up to it," said Harry cheerfully. They were sure to divert blame to the angelic terror duo rather than Chuck.

* * *

Sam and Dean were properly horrified that Chuck dragged them on stage as the infamous Winchester brothers that started his series. They could see Loki and Harry laughing their asses off with a video camera on a tripod recording this whole thing, and it didn't take a genius to figure who had put Chuck up to this.

"Sammy, we are destroying Bobby's laptop. He must never see this," said Dean.

"Agreed," said Sam, surprising his brother. Clearly he was remembering the aftermath of Bobby seeing them stuck in TV Land for five days.

"And what about the two midgets laughing at our expense?" asked Dean.

"Shoot them until we run out of bullets," said Sam flatly.

"Oh Tweedledee and Tweedledum? I hate to break it to ya, but Bobby just saw the video," cackled Harry.

"What?!" they yelped in unison.

"And he just called Jo and Ellen to tell them about the new upload!" snickered Harry.

"Harry, can we talk to you and Loki outside for a minute?" asked Sam a little too calmly. He was going to kill them for calling Bobby before they could destroy the laptop.

"Dad, run!" yelled Harry, as Loki ran off before the Winchesters could strangle them both. Loki was still cackling like a mad man while holding the camera.

"GET BACK HERE YOU DAMN MIDGETS! I HAVEN'T SHOT YOU YET!" roared Dean, followed by Sam. The father-son duo were laughing all the way to the car they had come in. They were earning some odd looks from the convention goers.

Harry really wished that the fans knew that the stories were based on fact, and that the idjit duo were currently chasing the Trickster and his son.

* * *

_Two hours and many, many drinks later..._

"So you're Chuck. I have to say I love your work!" cackled Harry.

Dean and Sam were actually growling. Loki, on the other hand was actually staring at Chuck for some reason.

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Harry Potter, and this is my dad Loki."

"I can see the resemblance," said Chuck nervously.

"So Chuck, are you really going to continue the books? I mean I'm sure Tweedledee and Tweedledum here won't be happy, but who cares what they think?" said Harry far too cheerfully. Both Winchesters were growling even more.

"Because if he does we will hunt him down with guns," said Sam through grit teeth.

"And we won't hesitate to post the video of you two in a convention full of fans, some of who think you idjits are into incest of all things and believe you should have bungee cords on your weapons," said Harry flatly.

"I thought you already posted it?" said Dean.

"And miss the look of fury on your face? Not a chance. Besides, we haven't gotten to our laptops just yet," said Harry.

Dean couldn't help his reaction. He starting banging his head against the table for falling for such an obvious trick.

"Why are you two here anyway?" asked Sam.

"One, Becky called us using Chuck's phone and we wanted a laugh, and two, we wanted to meet the owner of the website that has been shipping the Wincest like crazy," said Harry.

"Wincest?" said Sam faintly.

"Why don't you tell them Becky?" asked Harry far too cheerfully.

She looked embarrassed, but she wasn't denying it. She was also behind the 'homoerotic' fan forum.

Dean seemed torn between getting completely wasted, and shooting himself in hopes that this was another prank by the Trickster. With how things were going, he was almost sure it was.

"Do you think god would be pissed if I killed an arch angel for this?" he asked, not entirely sober.

"Oh, I don't think god would be your problem Dean. I've lost my father once to a mad man, and if I lost him again Micheal would be the _least_ of your problems," said Harry sharply.

Dean and Sam winced, but they could understand. Losing their dad had been hard enough the first time, and that was before they found out how he really died.

There was a sudden scream, this one much more real than the first.

"Ah, sounds like the kiddies are acting up finally," said Loki, sipping his over-sugared drink. It was fruity and had enough sugar to give people diabetes.

Naturally it was his favorite.

"What kiddies?" said Dean.

"There are a trio of murderous children in this hotel, held back by the woman who murdered them. You see, way back when this was an orphanage, these three kids killed the woman's son by scalping him. In return she lost her mind and killed them all by cutting them into pieces. Now she keeps them from going on a killing spree in death," said Loki.

"This place is actually haunted?" said Sam in shock.

"Yup. Guess you guys went for authenticity, eh?" said Loki, elbowing Chuck who seemed very nervous now.

"So should we salt and burn the bones?" asked Sam.

"If you want to, sure. Find the cemetery and go after the children first though. It's the old woman who's holding them back, not the other way around," advised Loki.

"Screw it. I'm killing something today, and if it isn't you two, it's going to be something big, bad and soon-to-be ganked," said Dean, bringing his whiskey with him.

"That's the spirit!" laughed Loki.

Dean and Sam returned only long enough to get drunk and sleep for a night before heading back on the road.

* * *

Harry was still making that poultice so they could see hellhounds and reapers. From what he could tell the thing had been thrown together haphazardly from spare potion ingredients and the maker originally didn't expect it to do anything but blow up.

He had already sent the recipe to Snape to see his reaction, and according to him it also allowed one to see thestrals.

Harry believed the poultice to be effective when dealing with anything related to Death, though why someone hadn't thought to sell it he had no idea.

"I heard a rumor Lucifer would be nearby recently," said Bobby during their monthly get together.

"There's no chance in hell we are going after Lucifer this early on. For one thing Harry still hasn't gotten the hang of his wings or his natural powers, and the fact is he hasn't finished that project of his yet," said Gabriel flatly.

"What project?" asked Dean.

"The one that would allow all of you regular humans to see anything death-related like Thestrals, hell hounds and reapers. At least that we know off. It takes three months to brew, and it was originally made out of boredom," said Harry.

"There's also the fact that had we not told you the Colt was useless against Lucy, I know for a fact you would have gone straight to Crowley to retrieve it," said Gabriel.

"I never did see what the big deal about that thing was. I mean all that makes the gun special is that it has a set of Angel glyphs inside the barrel and the bullets have Enochian symbols etched into them. I mean, it's not like it's on the same league as the Hallows, right?" said Harry. Then he noticed Gabriel's shifty eyes.

"_Right_,_ dad_?" he said dangerously.

"Death made have told the creator how to make it around the same time he gifted the Peverells with the Hallows..." muttered Gabriel.

"Why?"

"I don't know, I think it had something to do with evening the rift between humans and magicals. I didn't particularly care about the origin of the damn Colt, alright?" said Gabriel.

"That does it. You two chuckleheads find the damn thing so I can figure out what the hell it is," snapped Harry.

* * *

Dean and Sam looked somewhat perturbed when they came back with the infamous Colt. Mostly because for once there was a demon who actually _helped_ them without demanding something in return, aside from killing dear old Lucifer.

Harry literally took the Colt apart, to the displeasure of the hunters around him. What he found did not impress him in the least.

"This whole Colt business was a scam. There's nothing special about the damn thing at all aside from a few spells that make it easier to shot the thing in the presence of anything not human," said Harry.

"What do you mean the Colt is a scam?" demanded Dean.

"I mean the only thing with any power behind it are the bullets, not the gun itself. Besides, in case you haven't actually _noticed_ these bullets have been made far too recently to have been around as long as the gun has," said Harry.

Bobby picked up one of the bullets. He looked at the bottom and swore.

"The idjit's right. This thing is a mass manufactured bullet with engravings on it!" said Bobby. Dean picked up another and saw the manufacture's label at the very bottom. Certain companies laser-engrave their bullets, and these came from one of them.

"This whole time you two have been on a massive wild-goose chase for a gun that won't even work, when you could have asked me to enchant all your weapons and show you how to make these bullets," said Harry in disgust.

"How are these things made?" asked Gabriel, picking one up.

"From what my magic is telling me, someone carves angel glyphs along the outside of the bullet, soaks it in holy oil and the dips it in wax with holy water in it. The power behind the bullet comes from the human's faith that the gun can kill anything, since no one thought to see how it worked in order to reverse engineer it," said Harry.

That had been one of the classes he had paid extra attention to...reverse engineering something from scratch.

"Wait, if it requires all that...then who made these?" asked Sam.

"No idea."

And with that, Harry went about enchanting every blade, gun and unusual weapon in Dean's expanded trunk. The odds of them getting killed were dropping lower and lower with each new discovery it seemed.

Harry fully planned to open exchange stations where hunters could walk in, hand over most of their weapons and have them enchanted for a small fee. Once word spread, it wouldn't be long before things became a lot more peaceful.

There were a few reasons he didn't open on this year.

One, the Ministry of Magic had it out for him because as the 'boy-who-lived' he hadn't taken credit for killing Voldemort and had sent a letter a few days after his return from Hell saying exactly _why_ he wanted nothing to do with the British magical communities. Needless to say they had been greatly displeased by calling them 'mindless sheep'.

Two, Dumbledore was still active, and he would no doubt try to turn his attempts at keeping hunters alive very badly, even if his power base had been cut off by them thanks to the war. Magicals were taking a stronger note of hunters now, and they had become very aware that while hunters knew of their communities, they had yet to do more than keep the worst of their society in line. That was a fact many were still coming to terms with.

The third factor was that it was illegal to enchant muggle items, and guns clearly fell into that category. Harry didn't feel like dealing with Arthur Weasly or his American counterpart just because he was helping hunters kill things.

Once he was able to bring the magicals up-to-date with the humans side, he fully planned to help create new laws that would work around the 'no enchanting muggle things' that they had going on now.


	19. Chapter 19

Fred and George appeared during a supply run for Bobby with grim news.

"Sirius has been captured by the Ministry. We think their holding him hostage until Harry comes back to 'reclaim his rightful place as a British Magical' in the words of Dumbledore anyway," said George.

Harry snorted.

"They just don't like the fact that I want nothing more to do with them and only did one thing during than damn war. Did you know Dumbledore's original plan was to have us kill each other off?" said Harry sarcastically.

"In any event, Dumbledore is determined to bring you back, one way or another," said Fred.

"We've overheard him talking to Mum...they're planning to marry you off to Ginny and douse you with potions so that you don't leave again," said George grimly.

"In that case, there is only _one_ appropriate response to this nonsense. I'll be back tomorrow dad," said Harry.

"Don't forget to hide your powers. Someone might connect you to the angels and sell you out to demons just to get out of a contract," said Loki.

"Wait, Loki is your dad? How did that happen?" asked the twins in unison.

"Turns out his last vessel was James Potter. We think it was a prank on god's part as payback for Gabriel sending me into the past just to answer which half I got my angel heritage from."

* * *

Harry used the angel method of traveling and was in Gringotts before it switched to the night shift.

"I would like to speak to the goblin in charge of my accounts," said Harry.

"Name or key," said the goblin bored.

Harry presented his key.

"Verify with blood test, NEXT!"

It took all of five seconds for the goblins to stare at him.

"Are you in fact Mr. Potter?" asked Griphook. He looked nothing like Harry, and had a quiet confidence that the boy had lacked.

"I am Monkey Magic," he replied simply.

"Could you explain the change in appearance?" asked the goblin desperately.

"My father had a 'creature' inheritance that we didn't know about, and when stressed, it came out as a partial manifestation. What you see before you now is the end result of the partial transformation, as the full one would have had some rather unpleasant results later on."

And by that he meant that they would be unable to seal Lucifer again, as only a mortal could hold the Deathly Hallows. If he had ascended fully, then they would have had to wait for the next Master of Death before they could seal him away, which was time they didn't have.

Hence why Harry hadn't forsaken his human side just yet.

The goblins shrugged, but took it as it was. Harry moved anything he felt worth keeping (mostly any family relics and portraits) and was pleasantly surprised when he learned that there was a picture of 'James' and Lily made after their wedding with his mother's conscience in it. At least now he could speak to his mother properly, since he lived with 'James' in his natural state.

Once that was done, he transferred all of the stocks, holdings, anything worth muggle cash to a new vault for Gabriel Winchester, which was his preferred alternate identity. As Sam was technically a muggleborn hunter who's magic was twisted by demon's blood, Harry knew he had a lot of work to do in order to get Sam's magic straightened out.

Once that was done, he straightened out his finances in the magical world, which was unsurprisingly little. Finally he gave away all the gold in his 'Potter' vault to various charities which never had a thing to do with a Death Eater and were proven as good. Some he gave away to Remus, Sirius, Hermione, Neville, Luna, Fred and George...and two knuts to Dumbledore, along with a rather provocative letter to the old headmaster telling him to kiss his ass, because he wasn't falling for an obvious trap. Once he was out of the bank he was going to retrieve Sirius using the angel's method of getting places.

Finally he closed all Potter vaults, since he no longer wished to be known as the 'Savior of the British Magical World', because they had given him nothing but misery for years.

With all his real cash in either a Swiss bank account or his new vaults (which were the highest priority the goblins could give him and guarded by five dragons, thousands of curses/wards/spells and an honorary goblin guard that would check on any withdrawals made by anyone other than him.

Not even the Malfoys had that kind of security, and they were considered the second richest family in Britain.

The goblins loved Gabriel Winchester more than they did Draco or his mother, naturally.

Once that was all done and set into motion, Gabriel wrote his final goodbye as Harry Potter...as far as he was concerned, that person was dead.

* * *

_HARRY POTTER DEAD!_

The headline caused a number of magical papers to be bought out within minutes, and thousands of reprints were made twice.

Gabriel (as he now called himself) watched with open amusement behind his muggle paper as witches and wizards openly wondered why their 'savior' had died so suddenly after his godfather had been just freed. (Gabriel had hired the best magical lawyer currently alive...ironically Lucius Malfoy's sister.)

That shock quickly turned to rage as the people turned on Dumbledore when his 'crimes' against their savior became known, not limited to what he had done since Harry's return to the magical community at eleven. People were calling for the man's head on a plate, and Fudge would have been next had he not died by a hunter's gun for trying to keep a Death Eater alive during the war.

Gabriel really loved that bit of irony.

The second best-selling headline of that week was the arrest of Albus Dumbledore and his removal from the seat of all his previous titles. Though he tried to fight it, a few drops of veritaserum and a gryffin quill left people in shock at how badly Dumbledore had snowed them under with his hypocritical desire to see muggleborns and pure bloods equal. Several people cried in denial when they learned of the various potions Dumbledore had employed, and the divorce rate sky-rocketed after the love potions ran out and the truth became known.

Gabriel made a point to leave some things for Grindlewald to play with while Dumbledore enjoyed his tenure as his former lover's new cell block friend. Included were dungbombs, stink pellets and an ever-full box of CO2 cartridges and various neon-colored paint balls along with a few paint ball guns to play with.

Needless to say that former Dark Wizard was in for a great deal of fun as he reminded Dumbledore that he was in fact a human and he had just screwed up big time.

Gabriel cackled evilly along with Sirius as they went back to America. Revenge truly was a dish best served cold.

* * *

"You want to _what_?" said Dean in shock and mistrust.

"I'm going to unblock Sammy's natural powers and show him how to use them properly. I couldn't do this before, because let's face it, he had a rather nasty addiction and it would have been even harder. With his blood wiped clean, his real power is more or less unblocked, but the problem now is that he has no focus."

"You're telling me Sammy had those kind of powers all along and that damn demon _warped_ them?" said Dean.

"I'll be blunt then. You two idjits are muggleborns, only yours has become twisted by angelic influence and Sammy's was corrupted by demon's blood. When you were placed in that plane, the slate was wiped clean, however your powers were put into a dormant state," said Gabriel bluntly.

Loki had no issues with his son going by _his_ real name instead of the one his previous vessel had given him. He preferred playing the trickster card anyway. To avoid confusion though, he went by Bree among them.

"You're telling me that Sam and I are..."

"Wizards like I was? Yes. And before you refuse, there's something you should really know. Wizards are harder to possess by force because of their magic...it's why the angels have been trying to trick you into saying yes rather than forcing you to agree to it under duress. They can't possess a wizard unless they fully agree to it, and the same goes for Lucy," said Bree.

"What about that time that asshole Zachariah dropped me off in an alternate future?" demanded Dean.

"That qualified as a trick. Because it wasn't _this_ future, he was within his power to send you to one that won't happen. Had you said yes, then Micheal could have possessed you. Thankfully that didn't happen," said Bree.

"And why the hell should we train our powers?"

"You won't have to bleed to cast an angel banishing sigil, you'll never have to deal with the sticky leather seats in the summer again...and you'll be able to fly."

"Did you say fly?"

"Wizards can enchant things to fly, notably brooms. When I was twelve, an acquaintance of mine and I flew an old Ford Angelia all the way from London to the highlands of Scotland before the flying booster died on us," said Bree with a smirk.

He knew he had Dean hooked now. The temptation to enchant his beloved Impala so they could fly places instead of driving for hours on end would be impossible to resist.

"Did I forget to mention that they never had to buy gas ever again? I'm fairly sure Arthur Weasly wouldn't have a clue how to work a gas pump..." said Bree with a grin.

"Teach me how to enchant my baby so I never have to stop at a damn gas station and you have a deal," said Dean flatly. With how high gas was getting lately, there was no way he would be able to keep driving cross country without losing an arm and a leg at the damn gas pump for each hunt.

Bree didn't bother keeping his smirk off his face as he knew he had Dean hooked. And Sam would be even easier, because he had seen a spell that would allow him to exorcise a demon with just his mind. Having that power back (without having to deal with his addiction to demon's blood again) would be impossible to resist.

Jesse seemed happy to have someone else suffer with him through magic lessons, even if it was a pair of hunters three times older than he was.

As Anna walked them through basic magic lessons (Dean was having way too much fun with the color changing charm...though Sam wasn't one to talk as he mastered stinging hexes and shock charms very quickly to Dean's irritation) Bree allowed himself to remember the various events that had molded him into the person he was today.

* * *

_(Flashback to third year, first meeting with Lupin alone)_

"_So Harry, you're having issues with dementors?" said Lupin._

_Harry looked at Lupin flatly._

"_Professor Lupin, let's be honest for a moment shall we? I know you're a werewolf, and so long as you don't try to attack anyone in the castle or the village, I could care less that I'm learning from a supposedly dark creature. As for Black, he is an annoyance at best. I class dementors as a nuisance," said Harry flatly._

_Lupin seemed to choke on nothing._

"_How did you... Did Severus tell you about my condition?"_

"Snape_," Harry stressed, "Has not said a word about your medical issue as far as I am aware. No, I realized it since before the boggart...though it was nice to have it confirmed to be honest."_

"_How did you know the signs?"_

"_My career choice once I leave Hogwarts is to become a hunter. I'm sure you've at least heard of muggles who 'earn' a living killing creatures most people would dismiss out of hand. At this point I am considered one of the highest paid 'research monkeys' among hunters because I find solutions to certain magical pests that muggles can use. One of the things I've researched was werewolves, though I did wait for your reaction to have it confirmed."_

_Remus looked at Harry in shock and horror. Why in merlin's name would the son of his friend want to become a _HUNTER_ of all things?_

"_Judging by the look on your face, you want to know why I chose to become a research monkey for hunters, people notorious for disliking anything not entirely human..." chuckled Harry. _

_Remus nodded. _

"_To be blunt, when I was seven a Wendigo attacked and killed my uncle and cousin, and it was a stroke of luck that a hunter was in the area, because he saved both my life, but that of Petunia and the officers who had come to investigate the footprints it left. It was only later I found out that most hunters dislike anything magical in origin, but they overlooked that fact because I was open about it and too useful to kill. Besides, I was an innocent kid who liked hearing their stories."_

"_You encountered an actual Wendigo when you were _seven_?!" said Lupin in horror._

"_To be fair I'm almost positive my uncle originally planned to dump me in those woods and not look back. The Wendigo did me a favor," said Harry bluntly._

_Oh that tore it. Remus was going to tear Dumbledore a new one. He had been told that his cub was safe!_

"_Plus there was the fact that Petunia quit being such a horrid person after the incident and actually treated me like a human being because she knew it was my doing that she lived. She even helped me take lessons so that I could become a first-rate hunter so that it would never happen again. Well, that and I am fairly positive she knew that hunters hated magicals and hoped to 'repay' them in some way for ruining her life."_

_There was no love lost between Harry and his aunt. She knew he hated them for the treatment and that the only reason she was being even remotely nice to him after the incident was because she had been in shock and learned that he hadn't even reacted to the fact that the monster had used her voice. Learning her nephew couldn't care less if she had died to that thing had been a nasty wake-up call for her._

_Lupin, badly shaken with this new revelation and the fact that Harry had essentially just threatened to kill him or call one of his hunter friends down on him before he could properly react, decided to get back to why he had called Harry into the room._

_Shockingly, it only took five tries before Harry had a semi-corporeal shield going, and three lessons after to make it solid enough to make out it's proper shape._

_To his shock, the thing that came out was a unicorn with wings, one set. It looked very much like Lily's animagus form, though he knew she rarely used it because of the fact she had an auburn coat which would have made hiding impossible._

* * *

_(Flashback to a week after Harry first went to the Hunter's Coven bar... Harry: age 8)_

_Harry had heard several hunters complain about not having something to work with when hunting the same things, only going by word of mouth and what the research monkeys dug up. Even with the internet, it was very slow going and the cops could track them down by what they looked up. It was a nightmare._

_Hearing this, he went over his notes and began putting things together into a single book that could be used as a reference. It was all basic stuff, things like what worked on ghosts, how to tell a werewolf from a hellhound, how to kill a vampire..._

_But the reaction to his small book that he showed the hunters blew him away. When they learned he planned to make a basic reference book for hunters to use so they didn't have to keep looking things up over and over again, they were eager to help, even calling in old friends to share their experiences._

_Soon that small book had grown to over five hundred pages, and Harry was looking for a publisher so he could make more copies. His aunt even gave him three weeks allowance so that he could create a hundred copies to pass out._

_In less than a year, his small project became a recognized reference book for every hunter, and he had discovered a source of income he hadn't expected. Suddenly being their junior research monkey wasn't that bad...they paid him a small amount for information that actually worked, and in return he could get more books._

_He had found his niche among them._

* * *

_(Flashback to the day after his acceptance in Hogwarts... Harry, Age 11)_

_Harry walked into the bar nervous for the first time in his life around hunters. He was different from the regular kids, more so than they could hope to match._

"_What's eating you Monkey?" asked Mike, the owner and bartender._

"_I'm a wizard," he said._

_Mike blinked._

"_Was wondering if you would show up once the letter came. Listen Monkey, so long as you never turn evil and continue to help the hunters, they could care less about magic. Most of them already know, because the European kind aren't that discrete about their magic. Hell, my family kicked me out because I was born without it!" said Mike._

"_You're like me?" said Harry hopefully._

"_I'm a squib...means I was born in a magical family, but I can't cast at all. I don't allow hunters who kill normal magicals in here, so you don't have to worry. Like I said, the people here know you're a normal kid who wants to help others. So long as that never changes, you're always welcome here."_

"_Thanks Mike."_

"_Anytime Monkey. And to celebrate you getting into Hogwarts, how about I give you the house special," said Mike, reaching down for some ice cream. Harry grinned._


	20. Chapter 20

_**Since some of you have expressed confusion as to who Bree is, the answer is simple. Harry changed his name to Gabriel Winchester Evans in order to avoid anyone figuring out he was alive. He goes by Bree in order to avoid confusing him with his father.**_

_**Also, in response to someone asking why Harry didn't keep the Potter gold, he did, most of it anyway. Anything that belonged to the family was placed into a new vault under his new name while the rest was given to charity. Besides, he already has a decent stock of gold and a very profitable business through the Hunter network. He doesn't actually **_**need****_ to rely on his family fortune._**

* * *

"No and _hell_ no," said Dean.

"You have two options. One, you either get all of this out now or two, we let you two idjits hunt in the psycho ward. Frankly with how much you two morons hold in, it can't be healthy," said Bree flatly.

Dean had taken to calling Gabriel 'Bree' because it was still easy to confuse the two otherwise. Loki had taken up that nickname and now they were all calling him 'Bree', which he complained made him sound like some sort of cheese.

One of the older hunters who had 'retired' had called in a hunt in a psychiatric hospital. Sam and Dean had offered to take the case, but Bree had other ideas.

Namely letting the Winchester brothers vent for once so that they could at least go back to a more functional relationship.

With how much hunters held in thanks to all the crap they've seen, they needed someone to vent to who wouldn't diagnose them as insane or take away their guns.

Bree was currently breezing through medical books in order to help them out. If he could get a legal certificate claiming he was a doctor, then chances were that he could keep them from being locked up.

Besides, he was bored out of his mind.

"I'll toss you then. Heads we vent to you about all the crap we've been through, tails we go on this hunt," said Dean.

"Jesse, can you bring us a galleon from my pouch?"

Dean gave him a look.

"Galleons are spelled so we can be sure neither of us can cheat with a double-sided coin," shrugged Bree.

"Fair enough. Tails," said Dean, hoping he could just go on the hunt.

Bree tossed it up and let it fall on the ground.

"Ooh, sorry Dean. It's heads. Why don't we have you go first," said Bree far too eagerly.

"Dammit..."

* * *

Dean sat down in the chair. Bree was going to give him a silver-time turner (which unlike the gold ones went back days instead of hours) later, but they needed to do this now.

"So what, do I just describe my feelings to you?" asked Dean.

"No, how about you tell me how this all started and how you've dealt with all the hard decisions you've made. You can even talk about hell and get that out, since we've both been there already," said Bree.

"Why don't you read those damn books?" bitched Dean. He didn't want to be here, and they both knew it.

"Start talking or I swear to god I will have dad prank the ever-living shit out of you once you leave," said Bree flatly, "Or do you want a repeat of the Mystery Spot?"

Dean winced. Gabriel had killed him in so many inventive ways, one of which he never spoke of to his brother because he was embarrassed that it had happened. (Tentacle death...do I really need to explain more?)

Bree sighed, then pulled out his best weapon.

"Here...drink this. You can claim I got you two morons drunk to start talking."

It was a bottle of the best whiskey on the market. Dean grabbed it without hesitation.

Four shots in, and he started spilling everything. It wasn't like Bree cared about how insane he sounded, and the man in front of him knew how a hunter worked better than any shrink ever could.

By the time Dean got to his years in hell, he was already drunk off his ass. Though Bree had to coax that story out of him a little. Five hours after he sat down, Dean had spilled everything, including his doubts about Sam and the demon blood addiction.

Bree calmly gave him a sleeping potion so Dean could wake up without a hangover.

"Sammy, give me a hand so we can put Dean in a proper bed."

"Sure. How did it go?" asked Sam.

"Well, I got him to talk with whiskey. What does that tell you?"

"You think this will help?"

"Now that he knows he has someone to bitch to about everything? I hope so," said Bree.

Sam went in next, and came out feeling a lot lighter somehow. Unlike Dean he didn't need whiskey to start talking...then again Sam had at least tried to be normal, but had been dragged in by Dean.

* * *

"Ugh...what the hell happened last night and why is the room spinning?" said Dean.

"How do you feel?" asked Sam.

"Like my head is in a vice," said Dean.

"Drink this...hangover cure," said Sammy.

Five minutes later Dean no longer had a massive hangover.

"Now, how do you feel?" asked Sam.

"Better. What was in that anyway?"

"You don't want to know. I meant how do you feel after talking to Bree?"

Dean paused, then thought about it. It was somewhat nice to get everything out in the open, but he wouldn't tell Sam that. Part of the Winchester dynamic was to hold things until until they exploded out of you, or they died a painful death. Like when their dad was killed by the demon they were hunting, Dean had held everything in until it nearly broke him.

"I feel fine Sammy. Can we just drop it?"

"You can 'drop it' so long as you don't hold _everything_ in again like before, Winchester," said Bree flatly.

Dean gave him a look.

"I could care less about what was said while you were dead drunk, but the next time someone close to you dies, both of you are going to come back and talk with me again. You don't need to have the weight of the world on your shoulders Dean...no one ever asked you to shoulder it," said Bree.

"Hey midget?" said Dean.

"What?"

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. We have chocolate chip pancakes ready, and I can cook bacon to perfection. Thanks to that hangover cure you should be a lot less nauseous. Once you've eaten both of you are going to that hunt that you were called to. I have something that you can use to kill whatever it is," said Bree with a grin.

* * *

Dean was never more thankful for magic than he was now. Bree had taught them Occulmency so they could shield their minds, and it was working against whatever this thing was using. That along with the overpowered notice-me-not charms meant that their new silver bracelets went completely unnoticed by the hospital staff.

The thing touched it once and started screaming.

It took them all of five minutes to kill it and get the hell out thanks to Cas. Thank god for fake names.

* * *

"I think I'm going to be sick," said Dean. Bree helped him to the toilet where he became violently ill.

"What happened to him?" asked Cas in concern.

"Judging by the crap he's spewing out...I'd say he was infected recently but managed to fight it off. He'll be fine once it's out of his system," said Loki.

"And Sam?" said Cas.

"Let me handle that," said Bree. He took Sam aside for another session and he walked out much calmer than he had been. Apparently Sam knew that he had to vent more than Dean did...so he got everything out with Bree instead.

Sam really needed this if he was going to keep Dean together. The two relied on each other more than was necessarily healthy, but it worked. The real trick was to get them to let others into that small circle.

Everyone needed a support group in order to keep fighting.

* * *

Bree wrote on his blog about the 'open counseling sessions' for all hunters. He knew that like the Winchesters, many didn't want to spill everything to a shrink. So he made sure that word of 'free high quality alcohol' was also in the by-line.

It took him all of a month before he started getting calls and arranging group sessions for anyone within a twenty-five mile radius.

Most had to be coaxed out with liquor, but some spoke willingly. They seemed to find it comforting that someone was able to help them work out through some of their issues without them being labeled insane.

Others found it nice to be able to vent without being judged. The fact that some of it ended on the Hunter Bio site didn't hurt either. Some even added to their own bios so that their story would never die out with them.

Though quite a few had a good laugh at the misfortune of Sam and Dean because they had the bad luck of getting a fan base off of their lives.

* * *

"No and HELL no!" shouted Dean when Bree hooked up his IPod to his baby. He could put up with Sam's little hook-up...it wasn't like they actually used that cigarette lighter on the dash...but not with the music Bree had just put on. He reached for the electronic only to have his hand batted away by Bree with a smirk.

"You need variety...more than just classic rock!" cackled Bree. Sam was too busy recording Dean's reaction to Bree's taste in music to help his brother.

"Dude, I am so going to kill you for this later..." hissed Dean. Sam was shaking with laughter from the look on Dean's face when he heard the music play through _his_ stereo system.

The only reason he couldn't drive and change the music was because Dean had broken his leg and was currently waiting for it to heal itself up thanks to Bree's potion. Sam would have driven them both but Bree had promised to prank Dean while he couldn't change the music and Sam couldn't resist seeing what he would come up with.

In this case it was forcing Dean to suffer through seventy-five minutes of Irish folk music...specifically that of the Irish Tenors which Patrick got Bree hooked on months ago.

"You said it yourself Dean...Driver picks the music, shot gun shuts his cake hole!" said Sam shaking with silent laughter.

"For the love of god, change the music!" said Dean in almost physical pain.

Sam was too busy laughing to change the music, besides he was sick of rock music. Bree was cackling all the way through the tenors singing about an incident during the courting of a pretty girl who claimed they broke into the house because her employer caught them when he was supposed to be out fishing.

(BTW, the album I'm referring to is the _Ellis Island_ CD by the Irish Tenors, and the track that they are currently torturing Dean with is number 5, also known as The Courtin' Medley.)

This continued all the way to Bobby's, and Bree finally took pity on him after track 9 when he was able to sing every Irish word without mangling it.

He switched it to Linkin Park instead, to Dean's growing horror.

By the time they made it to Bobby's Dean was all but running out of his baby in order to get away from the 'evil' music, to Bobby's clear amusement after Sam called and told him what they were doing to Dean.

"Dammit Bree, if you weren't half-angel I would swear you were the devil!" snapped Dean.

Bree was too busy laughing while leaning on the Impala. Dean turned his attention to his brother.

"And Sammy, why the hell didn't you change the damn music?!" whined Dean.

"Because I, unlike you, prefer variety!" said Sam with a smirk. He was having way too much fun poking at Dean and his inability to listen to other kinds of music.

"Be glad I didn't force you to listen to the dulcet tones of Lady Gaga or god forbid country music!" snickered Bree.

"You wouldn't dare!" said Dean in growing horror.

Bree started singing 'Poker Face' while Dean hobbled away from him while Sam laughed at his brother, Bobby joining him. It wasn't until Dean was finally able to run like hell to the panic room that he got away from the music.

It wasn't that Bree was tone-deaf, far from it. Dean just hated that kind music.

* * *

Dean was pale as a ghost after what Gabriel stuck his computer on. Just like he had with Sam's laptop the first time they met, Gabriel stuck Dean's computer on a certain website that had yet to exist on this particular time line.

Namely a fanfiction website that specialized in certain pairings...I/E a yaoi fangirl's dream site. The page Dean was stuck on featured _him_ in a relationship with Castiel. He kept reading in horror at the surprisingly well written 'Destiel' pairing.

He looked at Bree in shock and horror.

"Where the hell does he get this stuff?"

"Ironically enough that is from a pairing that exists more times than not. The other one, which features Sammy, only happens whenever Gabriel himself gets bored and experiments."

"What other pairing?" said Dean hoarsely.

Bree smirked evilly.

"Fan girls call it 'Sabriel'..."

"Oh god...you mean Sammy and...?" said Dean in shock.

"My dad? Yup. Personally I find it funny as hell that such a pairing exists," said Bree.

"Oh god!" said Dean.

"DEAN! Dammit what did you do to my laptop this time?!" shouted Sam.

"It wasn't me!"

"Then why the hell can't I close out of this...thing?" demanded Sammy, walking in with his laptop.

Dean started reading that fanfic with growing shock and horror...suddenly the name Bree didn't sound so innocent. He started banging his head against the table.

"Dean?"

"Dammit... I am going to kill Gabriel," said Dean.

Sam had a sudden look of realization as to who the culprit was.

"I thought he got tired of messing with us?" he asked.

"Why would I get tired of screwing with you two chuckleheads?" said Gabriel from behind Dean. He had the fun of watching the older brother jump in his chair.

"Whatever...just get these off please?" said Sam petulantly.

"And miss the looks on your face when you find out that these particular pairings have happened before? Repeatedly?" said Gabriel grinning.

"You mean... oh god..." said Sam, his face going pale.

"You see this particular story? It happened once when I was bored out of my mind and had finished reading another fanfiction," said Gabriel smirking. Sammy almost looked like he would be faint for a moment.

"I think I'm going to be sick," said Dean.

"By the way, you know Bree's other nickname, Sabriel? He found those pairings as funny as I did so he chose to take it as a nickname," said Gabriel grinning.

"Dude, you owe us some hard liquor now!" said Dean.

"Hard liquor coming right up!" cackled Gabriel.

Dean started banging his head against the nearest hard surface when Castiel showed up half an hour later with enough liquor to make some really bad decisions with.

"I am going to kill that damn angel..." muttered Dean. Mostly because he put ideas into their heads that they would never dare consider.

* * *

***Winks* I had to put that last half in there for all the Sabriel/Destiel fans, and you know who you are. The fanfic Gabriel left on Sam's computer is one already on the site by She Who Cannot Be Turned called _Tall Tales and Small Exaggerations..._ and I would recommend it to any Sabriel fans out there in a heartbeat.**

**Not sure who I'll pair Dean and Sam with, but it won't be with each other. Still debating on whether to pair Bree and Anna together.**


	21. Chapter 21

Bree was coming back from the grocery store when he was confronted not by a demon, but something much more powerful.

An angel, specifically Zachariah.

"You're the abomination. I don't see why that fool Castiel puts up with your existence," said the angel.

"And you're the biggest dick with wings since Lucifer fell. What's your point?" said Bree flatly. He could handle Zachariah, but he didn't want the stigma of killing an angel.

"My point you little shit is that we aren't tolerating your existence anymore," said Zachariah with a snarl.

Bree didn't hesitate, he vanished with the groceries before returning. He didn't want to kill this bastard, but it was time to play 'how many ways can I humiliate you before you get the point?'...it was Loki's favorite games.

With a single snap of his fingers, Zachariah was trapped in his illusion.

* * *

"Has anyone see Bree since he came back with the groceries?" asked Loki in concern.

"Not for hours, no," said Bobby.

Suddenly Bree returned in a somewhat odd mood.

"Hey dad, what's the most embarrassing thing an angel can deal with in front of others?"

"Why?" asked Gabriel, suspicious.

"I have Zachariah at my whim, and I'm putting him through a modified version of the mystery spot. Sam and Dean have already given me some ideas to use on the bastard."

They had been far too happy to help repay the arrogant angel for all the crap he put them through, Dean especially.

"How in the hell did you catch that arrogant prick?" said Gabriel.

"He found me and said he wasn't 'tolerating my existence anymore', so I thought a lesson was required. Why?"

"And how long ago was this?" asked Gabriel.

"About six and a half hours ago. The creep's currently stuck in a tentacle illusion," said Bree smugly.

"This I have to see!" cackled Gabriel.

"So you've managed to copy yourself, big deal," snarled Zachariah.

"Why would I bother to do that when I can just use a time turner?" asked Bree, cocking his head. Beside him was an amused Gabriel.

Zachariah snarled at them both, bound by chains that could keep an angel tied down. Around him was a circle made of holy oil and flames.

"Dad, I do believe he needs a demonstration," said Bree.

"Agreed...we can always wipe his mind later," said Gabriel.

Bree unveiled his wings, all four of them. Zachariah's anger tripled at the sight of them. Then he saw the ones on Gabriel's back...which were two more than Bree's. Confusion raged with self-righteous fury. Then recognition and shock.

"You? How can you tolerate that abomination's existence?" demanded Zachariah.

"Because he's my son dumbass. Bree here is the result of Dad's meddling."

"You lie!" said Zachariah.

Bree looked at this father.

"Do it," sighed Gabriel. Bree had modified a simple prayer after learning god wasn't in heaven anymore and hadn't been for centuries now. The prayer was one said in most churches, but it would be very effective at sending Zachariah back into Heaven without killing him...and keeping him up there until they let him come back.

Bree made the sign of the cross, which started the incantation. The chains fell off but the flames and circle remained.

"Our father who walks amongst us unknown to mortals..." started Bree and Zachariah's eyes widened comically in shock.

"On Earth as it is in Heaven...Amen. And in the name of the Holy Father, I banish you Zachariah to the furthest reaches of heaven, never again to walk this Earth until the End of Days or you have learned your lesson," intoned Bree. Zachariah's could feel the chain of his words slam onto him like bindings as he was thrown out of his vessel and back through the pearly gates.

Even if he found a new vessel, he would be unable to walk on the ground until he learned not to meddle in the affairs of mortals. No doubt Dean would be pleased to hear about this.

"Hold up, you can banish angels from their vessels and back into heaven?" said Dean.

* * *

Anna, Sam, Castiel and Bobby all listened with shock to how Zachariah had been dealt with. Anna and Castiel were especially surprised.

"Only with the permission of someone higher up on the food chain than the one you're banishing. In this case Gabriel who outranks everyone except the other Arch Angels," said Bree.

"Bree here outranks most angels, but in order to do a banishing to that arrogant prick he needed my authority and grace to back it up. And the best part is that none of the other angels will believe him when they find out why he can't come to Earth anymore!" said Gabriel smugly.

"Why not?" asked Sam.

"Because the odds of a cambion of Gabriel's bloodline are so unlikely that they'll assume Zachariah is lying when they ask who did it. The chances of running into Gabriel himself would only make the story even less reliable in the eyes of other angels," said Anna.

"Why is that?" asked Bobby. That had never really made sense to him.

"Angels generally don't have 'relations' with humans, let alone someone of Gabriel's rank. We kill cambions on sight, so why would we risk falling from grace to kill an angelic cambion that we helped sire?" said Castiel.

"Having a relationship isn't forbidden, just really frowned upon. Especially when a child is conceived through it. About the only time such a thing is allowed is if the two happened to be fate-bonded," said Gabriel.

"Fate-bonded?" said Bree.

"Means that they were literally tied at birth to be matched. It's how God managed to allow you to be born even though I ended up as James Potter...his body was fate-bonded to Lily Evans from birth. Though knowing dad he probably threw me in a still born..." said Gabriel.

"It's the reason why neither Anna or I were inclined to kill you on sight. You were the result of a fate-bond," said Castiel.

"Wait, does that mean Dean is fate-bonded to _Cas_?" asked Bree.

"What?!" shrieked Dean.

"What makes you assume that?" asked Sam shocked.

"Well Hell is huge! About the same size as Earth. Finding him would have taken months alone, yet Cas found him in what, fifteen minutes? And the way he was able to track him after he got out..." said Bree.

Gabriel snickered.

"There's a reason why the 'Destiel' pairing those nutty fan girls come up with have happened nearly half the times that the world was set back to square one," said Gabriel.

"Over half?" said Dean, his face white.

"And the Sabriel one?" snickered Bree. He didn't have any problems with his father and Sam together. Far from it to be honest.

"Well that was more or less the result of extreme boredom and curiosity," admitted Gabriel.

"I need a drink..." muttered Dean.

Gabriel laughed out loud at the look Dean shot Cas when he handed him a beer.

"Dammit... don't tell me you actually like that stupid pairing those insane people created!" said Dean.

Bobby snorted. From what he could tell the idjit was attracted to Cas, but was too afraid to actually admit that he was bi.

Bree leaned over to Bobby.

"Mind if we kidnap the idjit and lock him in a room with Cas for a week?"

"Do it...he could use some happiness in his life, and it ain't my business to ask what the idjit gets up to," said Bobby.

Some of the other hunters he was friends with happened to have that inclination and he had yet to turn down working with them because of it.

"Cheers!" said Bree.

"Bree what...?" said Dean as the cambion disappeared with both him and Cas.

"About damn time. Either they work this out or I'll prank him for a month," said Gabriel.

"Where did they go?" asked Sam in concern.

"Someplace Cas can't get them out of with enough food and other items to last them a few weeks," said Bree flatly.

Sam paled.

"You mean you locked them in a room together?"

"Dean is the only one reluctant. The two are fate-bonded and have been for a long time. The problem is that the idjit is too embarrassed to admit it," snorted Gabriel.

"Think of it this way Sammy... wouldn't it be better for Dean if he had someone to fall back on without having to worry about how they would react to what you two do for a living?" said Bree.

It had been hard enough to convince the hunters that Sam and Dean weren't the ones who caused the apocalypse. Even if people were to take the infamous Monkey Magic's word about angels being real, it had been hard to get them to believe that angels were to blame for the rise of Lucifer and not the Winchester brothers.

* * *

Bree was debating on what to use for today's blog, as he had covered quite a bit in his once-a-month broadcast to his fans. He had spent two sessions explaining angels and cambions and how he had partially ascended when he first came out of hell.

The hunters seemed to take that news with a grain of salt, but they were willing to believe him...either that or they assumed someone had taken over Harry's previous blog for him because he had been offed by something. It was more of the latter than he would like.

So he decided to go into detail about prophets...and to promote the _Supernatural_ series because it had been written by one who didn't know until Dean and Sam showed up that the brothers were real...plus to mention how he had tricked them onto a stage full of fans for a laugh.

* * *

_'I must be cursed to keep running into these people on grocery runs...'_ thought Bree as he came face-to-face with Lucifer himself.

"So...you're the cambion who banished that arrogant fool Zachariah to heaven," said Lucifer smugly, "I'm..."

"Not interested in anything you're selling, and I'm quite happy with my current religion," said Bree loudly. He enjoyed the look of fury on the former angel's face and the people around them gave them odd looks. Too bad he couldn't take a picture of Lucifer's face, since his hands were full with groceries at the moment.

"Look you little shit, I want that vial you have now, or I'm going to make you a stain on the sidewalk," snarled Lucifer.

"Sadly I don't have it on me. So sorry. And Death's stone is currently in the hands of Sammy, so you won't be getting that either!" said Bree far too cheerfully for someone facing the devil.

"Hand over the Winchester brat," snarled Lucifer.

"Sorry Lucy, can't do that. And you're never getting Jesse either. See I noticed that little contract his dad has, and well, he'll be dropped someplace far from his son hours before that thing is up. As far as I'm concerned, you nothing more than a nuisance to be dealt with. Ta!" said Bree as he vanished without a trace.

Lucifer's bad mood lasted for weeks after that little confrontation.

"Dad, why are all of your older brothers such assholes?" complained Bree.

"Who did you run into this time, Rafael?" asked Gabriel.

"Lucy. From now on you're getting the damn groceries," said Bree as Gabriel choked on his chocolate.

"How are you still alive?"

"Left the Grace Vial here and Sam has the stone for now. Dean and Cas are still in the room and I went halfway across the States to get our food. I have the worst luck when I go grocery shopping," said Bree.

Dean and Cas had another day before Bree let them out, and only god knew if they had acted on the bond or not.

Bree was currently crossing his fingers that they had. Dean could use _someone_ in his life that wouldn't leave him so that he could transfer that over-dependance on Sam to someone who could handle it. Sam cared for his brother, but he couldn't handle the stress of keeping Dean from going off the deep end alone. Brotherly love couldn't handle that sort of strain, not without bad results...like what happened with Ruby and the demon-blood addiction.

"So what's the verdict on the room?" asked Bree.

"Well they quit trying to escape three days in, and they didn't think to check for lust potions in that turkey we left in the fridge..." said Gabriel smirking.

Those potions wouldn't last more than an hour if taken, but by that time their inhibitions would have been shot to hell anyway. And Dean had been a horny bugger to begin with.

* * *

"What's the verdict boys?" said Bree cheerfully as he opened the door. He ducked quickly as Dean shot him with his gun.

"Dammit Bree, I am going to kill you for that!"

"Why, is you ass sore from an angel riding it?" cackled Bree as he ran for it. Dean didn't say anything, but kept shooting at him with the only gun that hadn't been enchanted for unlimited ammo.

Castiel saw Gabriel and had a massive blush on his face. Gabriel didn't say a word, but he did hand his brother some clean clothes. They had been in there for a week, and while there was a shower in the room, there wasn't anything to wash clothes with.

Bree was about to dump water on Dean when his phone started playing the song he had assigned to Sam.

"GOT YOU!" shouted Dean, clocking Bree.

"OW!"

Dean stalked off irritably while Bree nursed the bruise and answered his phone.

"Hey Sammy... yeah Dean and Cas are out... Yes Dean shot at me for locking them in there..."

As he closed his phone, he was mildly surprised Dean didn't comment on his choice of ringtone for his brother.

* * *

_Bree's ringtones for all the people he knows:_

Sam- _What I've Done_, by Linkin Park

Gabriel/Loki- _Superman_, by Five for Fighting

Bobby- _Gunpowder and Lead_, by Miranda Lambert

Castiel- _Calling All the Angels_, by Train

Dean- _Second Chance_, by Shine Down

Anna- _Secrets_, by One Republic

Jo- _So What_, by Pink

Ellen- _Whiskey Lullaby_, by Brad Paisley

Sirius- _Animal I Have Become_, by Three Days Grace

Remus- _Stray_, the opening to Wolf's Rain

Fred and George- _Dare to be Stupid_, by Weird Al Yankovic


	22. Chapter 22

"Oh god...Sam was taken over...by a freaking nerd? That is priceless!" laughed Bree.

Dean and Sam were recovering from a rather close call with a demon. Sam had _somehow_ managed to get captured by a kid who practiced the satanic arts and did what Dean called 'a credible recreation of Freaky Friday', to the amusement of Bree.

Right now they were spending a few days off the hunting game, as Bree had told them he wasn't letting them go on multiple hunts at a time anymore.

They were about to sit down for a cold beer when Cas showed up looking less than pleased.

"Zachariah has found a way around your banishment from Earth. He's gone back to kill your parents," said Castiel.

"He's _what_?" said Dean.

"Bree banished Zachariah with Gabriel's grace powering it. Apparently he believes killing your parents will be sufficient enough to keep the banishment from being enforced. Unfortunately, he can move in the past without having to worry about Gabriel's power enforcing the judgment."

Bree grimaced.

"Killing me would be impossible because there was already an angel at Hogwarts, right?" said Bree.

"All they know is that in 1978 there was one high-class angel signature in England. That can be explained by your wand Bree, since Gabriel placed one of his feathers in it. If you give that to him and then join us later, you can keep their attention to a minimum while we deal with Zachariah."

"Wait, what?"

"I switched out your phoenix feather for one of mine among other things. Cas is right in that it would fool the other angels long enough to keep them from learning about the fact I was using James Potter as a vessel."

"Oh...was wondering what you did to my wand. And no Dean that wasn't a damn euphemism. Grow up," said Bree without looking at the older Winchester.

Dean looked disappointed at the missed chance.

"So what do we do?" asked Sam.

"You three chuckleheads will be dropped off in 1978 while Bree learns how to do it himself. I can't go back because it would screw things up and draw attention from Micheal at the very least. Have fun in 1978 boys!" said Gabriel, touching Sam, Dean and Castiel all at once.

"So how do I do the whole _Doctor Who_ thing?" asked Bree dubiously.

"I'll walk you through it. Chances are you'll see Micheal, so have a Grace Vial ready to break," said Gabriel.

"But not _the_ Grace Vial right?"

"I'll hold onto that one. You shouldn't break that until we're ready to take out Lucy once and for all. So here's what you do..." said Gabriel.

And surprisingly it was very simple. He just focused on the same feeling as the time-turners and willed himself to a point he recognized. But there was something that had been niggling at the back of his mind for a while now...

* * *

Bree looked up the date and suddenly he knew. He couldn't join the Winchesters because he had something he needed to do himself.

He grabbed his bag and started walking to the nearest gas station to get some supplies...like food.

"Which way to the nearest woods around Surrey?"

"About ten miles that way. That will be ten pounds and fifty pence," said the cashier.

"Thanks...keep the change," said Bree.

He vanished into the woods and landed close to the opening of the park. And started walking.

It took him five minutes to get to the place where the attack had occurred. He looked up, saw the foil wrapper and started to climb. There staring at him in the face was his seven-year-old self.

He remembered everything vividly. Every word, every move, every symbol.

He had once stared at the mirror after the partial ascension and wondered why the face had looked so familiar. Why none of the hunters at the bar had claimed the Wendigo kill when he was seven. And now he knew.

He was the hunter who killed the Wendigo and saved his aunt.

Once Harry was safe in the hands of the police and he gave the name he would go by, he realized it was time to go. He vanished back into the present and found the trio had already come back, though Cas was exhausted.

"Where were you? We looked for you but you never showed up! And Cas said he never sensed your presence in the past!" said Dean angrily.

Bree looked at him with the strangest eyes.

"The hunter who saved me when I was seven and killed that Wendigo...it was me," he said before he passed out.

Sam caught Bree before he fell to the floor.

"What did he mean it was him?" asked Dean.

"The hunter who saved his life during the attack, the one who inspired him to become a hunter in his own way, it was Bree. I taught him how to go into the past on his own...but I never expected it to be Bree who was there that day. Guess he inspired himself," said Gabriel.

* * *

It took Bree five days to snap out of his shock and wake up.

"You alright kiddo?" asked Gabriel.

"I'm fine dad."

Suddenly Bree lurched for the trash can and threw up.

"Fine my ass. Hold still."

Gabriel brushed Bree's head with his hand.

"You're running a high fever at the very least. Hang on a sec."

Gabriel shifted them to Bobby's panic room. Bree's fever suddenly spiked higher than normal, and Gabriel quickly handed him a waste basket.

"Oh god...what the hell is happening to me?" said Bree.

"I don't know... wait, do you hear humming?" asked Gabriel. He left the room and went upstairs and suddenly it all clicked.

"Son of a bitch. So that's what's going on," said Gabriel.

"Dammit Loki, don't you angels ever _knock_?!" shouted Bobby.

"I would if _Bree_ wasn't running a damn fever because of Death!" said Gabriel angrily.

"What?"

"Bree has a connection to Death. From what I can tell thanks to the mass revival of the dead he's become sick," said Gabriel.

Bobby knew Gabriel loved his son, as strange as it was. The two had gotten over a few differences while bonding over the stupid things the Winchester trio (Bree was a Winchester by default, according to Sam and Dean, after he kept Sam from wallowing in his depression while Dean was dead) did on a near monthly basis. Strangely enough, Sam and Dean had come to view Gabriel as a sort of strange uncle figure, not that they would admit to it. Of course they still shot at him when he annoyed them too much...just like he played pranks involving Dean's pie in retaliation.

Loki paid no heed to Bobby's dead wife Karen wandering around. He could feel Death's hand in this one, as he was bound to Lucifer's whim as long as he had half of his ring. Bree could control him to an extent, but not while he was out sick from the perversion of Death's power.

"The idjit can stay in the panic room as long as he wants," said Bobby.

"Thanks. No offense, but you might want to keep Karen away from him. This necromancy is what's making him sick...no telling what might happen if she came to close while he's this weak."

"Can't you just bust a vial and give him some sort of angelic booster shot? He has four of the damn things!" said Bobby.

"I might have to if his condition worsens," said Gabriel.

* * *

For three days Gabriel fretted over Bree, who continued to get worse. During that time Dean and Sam showed up about the 'undead' killing the living, only to learn about Bree's condition.

"How is he?" asked Dean.

"Sick as a dog. I might have to break a vial just to make sure he can stand this," said Gabriel. That was looking more and more like a better idea all the time.

"Sammy has gone investigating what caused this," said Dean.

"Don't bother. Death was told to use necromancy to bring back the loved ones of this town so they could take out Bobby."

"What?!"

"His...presence...is all over Karen more than the other dead. It's pretty damn obvious once you think about it actually."

"What do we do?"

"Wait until they start to turn. Without aid from the one waking them up, they'll grow hungry enough for the living that the town will turn on them eventually."

And Gabriel was right. Nearly a week after the dead rose, they turned on the living. Two people died, but the townsfolk rose up to deal with them quickly enough. As Gabriel predicted, they went after Bobby and Dean.

There was one problem though. Bree didn't get better once the dead were cremated and laid back to rest. Nothing they did seemed to work.

Finally Gabriel threw caution to the wind and placed a Grace Vial in Bree's hand from Bobby's desk in the panic room and had Bree smash it against the iron and salt wall. The stormy mixture went to the one that broke the glass, in this case Bree. Gabriel was quick to cover his eyes as it went into Bree. He didn't want to hunt for another vessel because he was careless.

There was a whoosh, much like an angel makes when he's teleporting somewhere using grace, and when Gabriel looked Bree was missing.

The last time a Grace Vial had been broken by someone with natural angel powers, they went to heaven briefly. And Gabriel couldn't go back right now because they were still looking for him and he would be a beacon.

He could only hope Bree made it back safely.

* * *

"Bree went to _where_?" said Dean.

"I gave him a Grace Vial to smash, and when I looked back he was gone. Last time one broke, it sent the angel who did it straight to heaven."

"Who broke it last time? Maybe they know how to get him back!" said Dean.

"Anna did, in the previous repeats. Do you have any idea how hard it is for an angel to give up their grace, even temporarily? The odds of them getting it back are astronomical. If Bree can realize what's going on and find someone who's sympathetic, he can come home."

After a few days, Dean and Sam went on the road again with the promise that Gabriel or Bobby would call them back later. That was before they ended up dead thanks to other hunters.

"Hey Ash, you seen Monkey recently?" asked Sam.

"Nope. Seen a very confused angel though," said Ash.

"A what?"

"Some auburn-haired angel was wandering around asking for directions. Said he landed here by mistake about two days ago. He kept saying this weird sentence too," said Ash.

"What did he say?"

"Does the walker chose the path, or the path the walker, in Enochian."

"Shit. Where did you see him?" asked Dean.

"About ten heavens that way. But you don't want to go there," said Ash.

"Why not?"

"Heard that Zachariah jerk was patrolling it pretty damn regularly. I think he was either looking for you two or that weird angel."

"That had to be Bree. Loki said he went up here three days ago!" said Sam.

The all paused when they heard something stumble against the door. It couldn't have been an angel, because they were used to heaven. Dean cautiously opened the door...and found himself with his arms full of Bree, complete with his golden angel wings out.

"Hey, it's the misplaced angel dude!" said Ash.

"Sam!"

Sam hurried to carry Bree into the diner, where he crashed onto a chair.

"Bree, can you here me?"

Bree muttered something in Enoch. Sam slapped him lightly. Bree shook his head a bit before he blinked.

"Sam? Dean? What on earth are you two muttonheads doing _here_?" asked Bree.

"We were shot by hunters. The kind who don't believe you when you told them that the angels are to blame and not us," said Dean.

"Well, maybe I can follow you two idjits home then. I've been wandering my memories and the various heavens up here for months now!"

"It's only been five days at least Bree," said Sam.

"More like five months for me," said Bree with a shudder. He hated having his time lines screwed up.

"Yeah, the afterlife is kinda screwed up time wise. A day down on earth might be a month up here if you don't know what you're doing," said Ash.

"As annoying as Hell," said Bree. Dean shuddered in memory.

The trio left the diner to find the garden, only to be snagged by Zachariah, the dick.

"God, what the fuck is your problem?" said Dean.

"You two morons have cost me a lot...and don't get me started on the abomination here!" snarled Zachariah. Sam stiffened until he realized that the angel meant Bree.

"Hello asshole. How's the banishment?" said Bree with a growl.

"I don't know how you found Gabriel, or what your relationship with him is, but you aren't going back to earth. Not while I'm around," said Zachariah.

Salvation came in the form of the same angel Sam and Dean were looking for. Since Castiel couldn't come back home, they had to do the looking for him.

Joshua looked at all three of them. But his eyes landed on Bree most of all.

"I'm afraid, Gabriel Winchester, that god had no part in your nature. That was entirely the fault of Fate. While you can come to heaven, you'll never feel at home here like the other angels. It's simply not part of your nature," said Joshua.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean son that you are the Walker. You are able to cross the boundaries of worlds with a simple thought...but you'll never be able to settle down," said Joshua.

Sam and Bree interpreted this as "You are the angel equivalent of the Doctor."

"I suddenly have the desire to manifest the T.A.R.D.I.S. and make that wheezing sound every time I appear suddenly. Weird," said Bree.

"If only Cas would do the same," muttered Sam.

"Or at least call first," said Dean.

"Sorry boys, but God doesn't want to get into this one. You'll have to figure out how to deal with Lucifer and Micheal on your own," said Joshua, clapping his hands.

Dean and Sam woke up...though Sammy had Bree on top of him.

"Ow..."

"Dude, get off," said Sam.

"We are so boned," said Dean.

* * *

Castiel took the news that Bree had been in heaven by mistake with a grain of salt. He was more concerned with the message God had left.

"So what now?" asked Dean.

"Now we go for plan B," said Bree flatly after taking a nice hot shower.

"What's plan B?" asked Sam.

"Remake the cage," said Bree.

"What?"

"Yeah, Lucifer's cage can be remade with the four rings of the Apocalypse. War, Pestilence, Famine and Death. Death is the easiest one, since we already have half of it," said Bree. He pulled out a white stone that had a triangle with a circle inside that was cut in half by a single line straight down the middle from the top of the triangle.

"The Resurrection Stone," said Castiel.

"Damn thing fell into my pocket along with the Elder Wand when I dragged Voldemort into hell where he belongs. We just need the fitting and we'll have the whole thing," said Bree.

"There are legends of Death separating the lock and key to keep Lucifer from hiding his ring..." said Castiel, "Death's ring is the central key to recreating a cell from which Lucifer cannot escape."

"And hiding half his ring would keep Lucifer from gaining an interest in it," said Bree.

"Wait, what powers does this stone have?" asked Dean.

"The one who controls all three Hallows gains the ability to walk between life and death, command the Reapers to avoid a people, and, if the holder has any special powers like Sam's psychic ability, they would be boosted to the next level. Or in the case of Bree, since he achieved a partial ascension before he took the mantle, an extra pair of angel wings. Angelic cambions normally only get one pair, even if their angel parent was a Seraph or higher. Then again, Bree is the only cambion of arch angel lineage."

"That's it?" asked Sam.

"According to the legend of three brothers, the first got an unbeatable wand, but was killed by someone greedy. The second got a stone to speak to his dead lover, but died when he realized she was little more than a shade. The third, which is the one that the Potters descended from, gained Death's cloak and when he died he took it off and passed it down to his son, then greeted Death like an old friend," said Bree thoughtfully.

"The wand would boost your natural powers or abilities. The stone would allow you to see the more spiritual side of the world like reapers, hellhounds and thestrals. The cloak would allow you to walk unmolested through the world of the dead and the living," said Castiel.

"And that's it?"

"That was all that was recorded," said Castiel.

"I need a drink," said Dean.

"We all need a drink," said Bree.


	23. Chapter 23

_**This chapter deals with Bree's time in heaven until he found Ellen's bar. If the Winchesters can have a walk around their memories, then so can Bree. You didn't think I wouldn't leave it like that did you?**_

* * *

Bree's first thoughts were... _'Crap. I am going to strangle dad for this!'_

Bree of course knew he was in heaven from the fact his angel wings were unwilling to stay hidden.

Fortunately the human souls ignored it, though they did give him some odd looks because he asked for directions. After the third time some rookie angel asked him where he was going, he got tired and repeated an odd phrase that he once read from one of his favorite series. Ironically enough the main character was named after the same pairing most fan girls used in _Supernatural_ fanfiction when it came to yaoi...Sabriel.

After that angels avoided him like the plagues.

Finally he came across something that made him pause.

Hogwarts. Curious, he walked into that slice of heaven and was shocked to see himself in a snowball war with the twins. He could feel himself going through the motions, but didn't understand why.

He remembered that day... it was the first time had ever enjoyed the snow fall, because someone played with him. That someone included him without being told to by their parents.

The children of Surrey avoided him because of the incident where his uncle was killed, believing him to be cursed.

He hadn't minded at the time, having already been alone, but when he got to Hogwarts he realized how lonely he had been.

"Hey! What are you doing, messing in that kid's memories?" came a shout.

Bree flinched, before he saw who was calling him.

"Sorry. Looked like fun and I was bored," he lied.

"If the higher ups find out you were messing in some human's memories, they'll be pissed," said the angel.

"I'll leave in a bit," said Bree. He could see the other angel had only two wings, and angels respected only those of higher authority. If he backed down from someone with only two wings, it would draw suspicion he didn't need.

The angel noticed the extra set.

"Whatever. But you had better leave before a Seraph sees you in here. I heard that jerk Zachariah was on the warpath again," said the angel.

"Thanks for the heads up," said Bree. The angel vanished through the various heavens.

Bree ducked into the castle when he heard someone else coming. It sounded like another angel.

"Dammit, where did that abomination vanish off to?" snarled Zachariah. He had heard that an angel was messing around in a human's territory and suspected it was Bree, since he hadn't said his name first.

Bree felt a surge of panic as the angry Seraph stalked towards the doors, and kept repeating his mantra to keep hidden.

_'Does the walker chose the path, or the path the walker? Does the walker chose the path, or the path the walker...'_ when he opened his eyes, he was in another memory. This one of familiar woods.

He was torn between being the hunter or the child. Hearing Zachariah nearby, he chose the hunter. He scurried up a different tree and saw the child that had been him waiting for someone to save him, since he no longer trusted the cops to do their job.

Zachariah saw the child and snarled.

"Now I know that abomination is here," he said. He started looking around and even went into the abandoned mine shaft the Wendigo had been in. Bree had already vanished by finding the first road he could.

For the next few months, or at least it seemed that way to Bree, he played cat-and-mouse with Zachariah in his memories. Fortunately for Bree, Occulmency allowed him to chose what memory he was in and at what point. By the time the angel came anywhere near that point, he was gone. There was one heaven that almost got him captured.

Lily Evans-ne-Potter's slice of heaven.

* * *

Lily Potter was curious as to why the angels glared at her on sight. She knew she was dead, and she had no issues with that. That all changed the moment a four-winged angel nearly fell into her slice of heaven.

"Great...another one without the decency to knock," she said sarcastically.

"Sorry. I was ditching that asshole Zachariah. Just because I forced him to stay up here instead of messing with the humans he thinks it's my fault his life sucks," said the angel.

"But you're a four wing! He's a Seraph!" said Lily in shock.

"Yeah, but he can't override Gabriel without Micheal's permission. Despite being the only arch angel to leave Heaven without falling, Micheal still cares for him enough to consider why he would banish another angel," replied the angel.

"Who are you?"

"Name's Bree. And I'm only part-angel."

"You're a..."

"Cambion? Yup. Though originally I was a half-blood wizard named Harry."

Lily took a closer look at Bree. The hair so similar to her mother's, the eyes only a slight shade different from her own...and he had all of James' cocky grace.

"Harry? As in Harry Potter?" she said.

"Hi mom."

"But...how are you..."

"Remember James Potter? Well he was Gabriel's last vessel. When I took Voldemort down into hell, I partially ascended, which changed my looks to suit my new powers...in this case I look closer to my dad's current form than his last one. I ended up in Heaven by mistake."

Lily looked torn between sobbing that her son had gone to hell taking the bastard who killed her, and anger that James, no Gabriel, had never said anything. She settled on the middle ground and hugged her grown-up son.

Bree just enjoyed being with his mother, even for a short while. He had to vanish when he sensed the bitchy Seraph coming close. He didn't want to endanger his mother twice. Though he did laugh at the message Lily left for Gabriel.

When he ran into a human who could cross heaven areas, he asked for directions out of there. Judging by the look he shot him, that guy wasn't going to be of much help...though he seemed very familiar for some reason.

Finally he found a familiar place...Ellen's roadhouse. He stumbled against the door, as he wasn't used to crossing someone else's memories.

"Sam!" cried a familiar voice.

Why were Dean and Sam in heaven, again? They didn't get killed by another monster did they? He felt the slap, but snapped out of his musing long enough to talk to Dean. He was going home. Finally.

* * *

Gabriel choked on his chocolate bar when Bree delivered the message.

"You ran into Lily?" he said.

"She said 'James Potter or Gabriel, when I see you again I am going to have your balls for not telling me you were an arch angel!'," said Bree far too amused. Gabriel shuddered. Hell hath no fury like an angry woman...especially red heads.

"So what now?"

"I got wind of a town filled with demons...and the townspeople are fighting back. We're heading that way so I can get back to fighting shape and release some of the anger I had against Zachariah...why couldn't that bastard be a demon..." bemoaned Bree.

Gabriel smirked. He knew Bree didn't dare kill an angel because he was terrified of 'falling' and losing what little grace he had, but if Zachariah continued as he was, he would be the fallen one and boned once Bree found out.

Fallen angels were fair game, as it meant they weren't in God's favor anymore, or they had abandoned him. It was why Anna had been such a hot commodity item for a while. She lost that importance when she chose to follow Gabriel's lead.

She even allowed Bree to dye her hair and give her an unusual appearance to play the part of Hel, "Loki's" daughter from Norse mythology. She now flew under Heaven's radar so long as she played that part. Gabriel wasn't the only one to see loopholes.

* * *

"WHAT THE HELL!?" shouted Bree from the back seat, clinging for dear life to the back of seat.

"Have you ever seen so many?" said Sam.

"Never!" shouted Dean in shock. He swerved the Impala as they came across a barricade...the demons closed in and they thought they were screwed.

That is until a fire truck showed up with holy water blasting them and someone saying something in Enochian. Without mangling the words Bree noted with surprise.

Once the demons were gone, Bree's face was very confused.

"What's up Bree?" asked Sam.

"It might be my imagination...but that exorcism didn't sound right at all."

"What do you mean?"

"It almost sounded like..." started Bree, but the townspeople approached them cutting off his sentence.

"You're a prophet?" said Bree dubiously.

The girl nodded.

"Were you the one to teach them that Enochian sentence?" asked Bree.

"The angels told me how to deal with the demons," she said.

"What did they say _exactly_?" asked Bree.

She told him.

"I knew something sounded off. Why on earth would _angels_ have you tell demons 'You breed with the mouth of a goat'? It doesn't even _do_ anything."

"What did you say?" asked the priest.

"That 'exorcism' is fake. All you're really saying in Enochian is that 'you breed with the mouth of a goat'. What? I'm a linguist and I know an angel," said Bree.

"It's true. What was that one again... Now I remember," said Dean. And then he repeated the same thing he told Zachariah last time he saw the asshole. The priest was stunned at the words.

"What did that one mean?" he asked.

"Go have a tea party in hell with your big brother Lucifer, you sanctimonious prick," said Bree smirking. Seeing the look on the priest's face, he quickly explained "Most angels are complete assholes, and it was a good way to piss them off enough to miss the obvious. In this case it was to anger Uriel enough to save another angel."

"How can you speak Enochian?" asked Leah.

"Like I said, I'm a linguist. I speak more languages than I actually remember the names of, particularly Latin. Besides, I would have learned how to speak it eventually."

* * *

They watched Leah have another 'vision', and while it came true it made Bree very suspicious. The timing was too convenient and hece remembered how dazed Trelawny was after the one she had of Pettigrew (who Sirius killed with great glee during the war). Something didn't seem right, and it was all centered around the girl prophet.

It wasn't until he heard the commandments she gave out that he knew she was a fake.

Bree bristled with fury.

"Tell me, Leah do the angels speak _directly_ to your or in your dreams?" he asked with barely contained fury.

"Of course they do. I'm a prophet."

"Priest, have you ever heard a hum so high pitch that it destroys glass when the angels 'speak' to your prophet?" asked Bree.

"No. She just hears their message and relays it to us," said the priest.

"Have any of you been around her while these...angels...speak to her?" he asked. Several raised their hands.

Dean saw what Bree was pointing out.

"You're not a prophet. Angels don't speak to them directly, and if they did then the windows would have been blown out. Hearing an angel's true voice ruptures the eardrums in a way you go permanently deaf, and seeing one makes you blind," said Sam.

"And something tells me that you're not even human. I can't even stand to hear Castiel speak in Enochian without my ears nearly bursting," said Dean angrily.

Leah looked freaked out now that her ruse had been discovered.

"Father, hide me!" she cried to the priest.

The priest looked torn, but something about Leah didn't make sense. Then Bree did something that really shook him.

He revealed his wings. His _angel_ wings.

"She is not human. She is the Whore of Babylon," said Castiel, coming to where he felt Bree's Grace. He had to be really pissed to be leaking so much out.

Castiel tossed the cyprus stake to Bree, who stabbed Leah in the chest. Her face contorted and the area around the wound blackened and hissed under the wood. The congregation was in shock.

"People of this town, hear me well. Leah was nothing more than a being from the Pit of Hell sent to lead you astray. She has taken the demons that plagued your town with her. You no longer have anything to fear," said Bree.

They booked out of town quickly once the shock passed. It wasn't their problem anymore.

* * *

"Bree...your Grace is still leaking," said Castiel.

"Shit...is there anything you can do?" asked Bree.

"Hold still while I try to absorb the overflow. This is the first time you've ever used it, so you might need to learn control," said Cas.

Cas put his hand on Bree's wing, an act that would have gotten him in a lot of hot water had he still been in heaven. Touching a superior angel's wing was a punishable offense, because their wings were very much a part of who they were. He focused past that and started to absorb the overflowing Grace. As he thought, because Bree had never used it before he had trouble controlling it now that he had unleashed his wings.

"Bree, what name did you take?" asked Cas, trying to get Bree to focus.

"What?"

"Your angel name. Gabriel has already been taken and Bree is nothing more than a nickname. What name did you take?" asked Cas.

"Kibeth, why?"

"Because if you're going to be making a public appearance again, then people will need to know what to call you in order to keep the other angels from interfering," said Cas.

Dean looked behind to Cas.

"Did you just make a _joke_?" he asked.

"I do not understand."

Bree snorted.

"Dean wants to know if you were joking about the public appearance question," explained Bree.

Castiel shook his head.

"The only reason we have names is because you humans seem to have trouble remembering us without them. Having an angel name will help give you power over the lower angels and something they can use to call on you if they have to," said Castiel.

"Seriously? I picked that name as a joke to go along with one of my favorite book quotes," said Bree.

"What quote?" asked Sam.

"Does the walker choose the path, or does the path the walker," said Bree. Castiel stiffened immediately.

"Hang on... didn't Joshua call you the Walker?" asked Sam.

"That's who Kibeth is in the _Abhorsen_ trilogy. The second bell is also called the Walker," said Bree.

"_Sabriel_, _Lireal_ and _Abhorsen_ right?" said Sam.

"You've read them?"

"Yeah, dad wasn't too happy when he realized what they were about though. He said if I was going to read something about the dead, then to read up on exorcisms," snorted Sam.

"Hang on... Here," said Bree. He handed over a book.

"Sweet," said Sam as he dove right into the fiction book.

"That book isn't entirely fiction," said Cas stiffly.

Sam and Bree looked at him.

"What?" they asked.

"There are seven arch angels, and two cambions. What the book got wrong was the order and the names. Kibeth is the name of the Walker."

"Still...it's one that none of the other angels use, so I'm keeping it. Unless you have the name of the Walker?" asked Bree.

"That name was lost. Out of the nine, only four still exist. Four were killed and one went renegade. What are the names given in the book?" asked Cas.

"Ranna, Mosrael, Kibeth, Dyrim, Belgaer, Saraneth and Astarael," repeated Bree.

"Ranna, Mosrael and Belgaer are the fake names. The others went missing. And if Bree truly is the Walker, that would make him this Kibeth."

"Kibeth was a dog that also went by the name Disreputable Bitch. She was actually rather useful, more than Mogget was."

"Kibeth was female. It is possible that Bree is a descendant of hers," said Cas.

"We can figure out fact from fiction later. Right now I need a nap," yawned Bree. Cas had drained nearly all his excess Grace...Gabriel would have to show him how to control that power when he woke up.


End file.
